Effective Communication Skill

Remedy for Nerves- You Should Know

2009-09-19T17:21:00.003+07:00

Nervousness is produced by purely psychological means, it can be controlled by purely psychological means. This is a point which many speakers have not realized. Bleeding when you cut yourself is a physical event, and requires a physical cure such as a bandage. Nervousness has real enough physical manifestations, such as sweating, feeling sick, and trembling. But it has a purely mental cause; bandages won’t help nervousness, but ideas will.

In this article I am going to offer a series of ideas which will help you to see nervousness in perspective, and to control its effects. But in the end, the only cure for excessive nervousness is experience. And that is the most difficult thing to get if you are over nervous. The solution, as I suggested earlier in the chapter, is to set yourself less stressful speaking assignments for the first few times. As you gain experience, your nervousness will subside, and you will be able to face a large audience. But don’t be ambitious first time out; learner speakers should drive carefully. And when making your first trial runs, remember the points made in this section. Each will reduce nervousness to a level where you are able to start to speak; increasing experience will then get the problem finally under control.

The first idea which offers a ‘cure’ for nervousness is the realization that the effects of nerves can rarely be seen from the outside. You feel dreadfully exposed when standing in front of an audience, but the plain fact is that they can’t see what you feel inside; you are not made of perspex. It is almost always true that you look better than you feel. Like the ducks on the Bishop’s pond, you may be paddling like hell underneath, but on the surface all appears calm. Remember that most of the audience are quite some distance away. Your eyelid may be trembling, your knee cap jumping like a jack-in-the- box, and your stomach churning like a steam engine, but none of this is visible from a few feet away. The back row can see nothing; even the front row can see little of what is really going on inside. So providing you prevent yourself pacing up and down, or waving your arms about randomly, you will appear to be calm, even if you are not.

Nervous speakers can rationalize their nervousness by thinking about the real situation they are in. Think about the audience as people, their motives, their hopes, and their interests; it will help focus your attention on realities, rather than your lurking fears. Here are six reflections which will help you gain this perspective:

It is an undoubted fact that an audience is made uncomfortable by a nervous speaker. There is a strong empathy between speaker and listener. One of the great showmen of speaking, Dale Carnegie, encapsulated this point in his dictum: ‘I’m OK, you’re OK.’ Making yourself relax is a kindness to them as well. Think of yourself as helping them, and you will feel they are helping you.
Remember that the audience is not hostile. You were asked to speak, therefore they do want to know what you have to say. You are welcomed, since in effect, the audience has initiated the conversation by asking your opinion on a subject. They want to learn for their own benefit, and your job is to help. You also have the power of novelty, for they certainly haven’t heard it before, at least not your way.
Remember that you are much more awake than they are, and much more self-critical. Therefore you are much more aware of errors and pauses than they are. What seemed like a dreadful mistake to you, was probably almost unnoticed by them. It may take them several minutes to become aware that something you said was peculiar. If you calmly correct the mistake, they will hardly realize you made it. Pauses, too, are perceived differently by speaker and listener. The audience is living on a different time scale, and what seems like eternity to the speaker may be barely noticeable to the listeners.
They are going to be more embarrassed than you, if the worst happens and the talk collapses. It is only kindness to them, then, to keep going. Realizing that they are more frightened of failure than you are, makes it easier to be sensible. So try to keep the talk in order, for their sake.
An audience is naturally well disposed and sympathetic. Speakers are frightened of audiences because they imagine them to be composed of cruel ogres, who take malicious pleasure in failure, and sadistic delight in mocking errors. You may be surprised to know, if you are nervous, that this is not the case. Audiences feel involved with the success of the presentation, and the natural kindness of people is increased by their concern that everything should go well.
Even if everything does go wrong, they can’t (and won’t) actually shoot you. It’s worth seeing your nervousness in perspective: what do you expect to happen if you make a mistake? The fact is that in many years of watching and teaching effective speaking I have never once heard derisive laughter. If the speaker is nervous, and makes mistakes, there is a sense of concern, and support from the listeners. The penalties for mistakes are very small, and most mistakes seem much bigger to the speaker than to the listeners, who may hardly notice. Don’t worry: it is not as bad as that!

In summary, one important cure for nervousness is to see what you are afraid of in a true perspective. Don’t think of the audience as hostile and frightening: talk to them as individuals, and think of them as a collection of people. You would not feel that bad about talking to any one of them alone. Follow Machiavelli, ‘divide and rule’. Remember that anxiety is usually at its peak just before you start talking. Once you are under way, you have to concentrate on what you are saying, and you forget about yourself. The keys are seeing the situation in perspective, careful preparation, and a realistic assessment of the audience. Providing you don’t try to put on an elaborate front which you cannot sustain, nothing is likely to go wrong.

There remain, however, people whose misfortune is being over nervous, and who find simple rational self-control little help. In some cases this over sensitivity is genetic, in some cases it is due to bad experiences, such as too much hostility and teasing from school mates (perhaps because of a temporary problem—a stammer, a lisp, or a silly mother). Whatever the cause, there is no doubt that there are many people who cannot get on top of their nervousness by rationalization.

They undoubtedly have an additional burden. Sartre once said that no one was born a coward, and everyone had the choice of whether he was going to be a coward or not. Nature endowed some people with a more lively sense of fear, and these people undoubtedly had more to triumph over in order to be brave. But nature had not made them cowards as such; that was solely, and only, their own choice. It is a stern lesson. If you are over nervous, it does not mean you cannot be a successful speaker, it merely means you have more work to do.

Nerves And The Audience- The Inter-relation

2009-09-19T17:13:00.002+07:00

The audience is disturbed by nervousness, as well as the speaker. There are two distinct ways in which the audience is affected; their judgement of the competence and subject knowledge of the speaker is affected by his or her nervousness (i.e. ‘Why is he nervous if he knows what he’s talking about?’): and their sympathy and concern are aroused by watching someone who is nervous (‘The poor person is miserable!’).

Firstly, the audience’s judgement of the speaker’s competence is affected by nervousness. The audience interpret the validity of the message depending on their perception of the assurance of the speaker. It is natural to feel that someone who knows what he or she is talking about, shows it in the confidence of his or her manner. So if a speaker is nervous the audience subconsciously feel it is because he or she does not know the subject properly.

There are two components to this: firstly, of course, it is difficult for an audience to realize how frightening they appear to the speaker. If a listener is sitting quietly in a chair, he does not feel very frightening! And he is not really aware of everyone else around him in the same way as the speaker is. So it is very difficult for him to understand why anyone should be nervous about talking to him. The listener tends to think that the speaker’s nervousness must have some other explanation. Secondly, people who are not telling the truth are often nervous. Whereas this is not true of competent tricksters, and there are many other reasons why people are nervous, the unconscious effect of evident nervousness on the audience may be to make them suspicious. Consciously they may be sympathetic, underneath they find their confidence in the message undermined.

So nerves can affect the credibility of a speaker. Studies show that ‘expressed confidence’ (i.e. using confidence asserting phrases such as ‘I am sure…’, ‘I have no doubt that…’), as well as confident behaviour, affects the amount an audience is persuaded by a speaker. It is also easier to listen to a speaker whom you believe to be an expert—there is a subtle sense of time well spent. Whereas listening to someone whom you suspect does not know what he or she is talking about is difficult, because it may be wasted.

For these reasons, nervousness in a speaker affects the benefit the audience gets from a talk. The speaker’s credibility is reduced if he is obviously nervous, and the audience enjoy the talk less. How do the audience know if the speaker is nervous? There are both obvious, and subconscious ways in which an audience perceives nervousness. The subconscious ways depend on non-verbal communication; but also on a phenomenon which has only recently been discovered. Stress shows in a speaker’s voice by signals which are beyond our conscious perception. Listeners are sensitive to the presence or absence of inherent micro-tremors in the speaker’s vocal pitch. All voice patterns include an individual and unique level of micro-tremor (similar in many ways to fingerprints). When someone is placed under stress there is a marked drop in the frequency of vocal micro-tremors, which is registered by the listener. This phenomenon has been used to construct lie detectors, and it may explain why we sense if someone is telling the truth or not. To us it seems like a magic fifth sense, because we are unaware of the physical basis of the evidence, but through micro-tremors, we can judge just how nervous the speaker is.

As well as these unconscious channels of communication, there are many visible signs of nervousness. The basic sign is an inability to stand still when talking:

When a person is emotionally aroused he produces diffuse, apparently pointless, bodily movements. A nervous lecturer may work as hard as a manual labourer. More specific emotions produce particular gestures—fist-clenching (aggression), face- touching (anxiety), scratching (self-blame), forehead-wiping (tiredness) etc… An anxious person tends to talk faster than normal and at a higher pitch.

All these signs will communicate the speaker’s nervousness to the audience. It is such signals which make a listener say, ‘you can hear him sweating with thinking’. They can be controlled, of course, and they ought to be controlled if the audience is to be comfortable. Nothing is more distressing than seeing another person going through a purgatory of anxiety. Out of sheer kindness to your listeners, you should try to damp down the amount of random movement you make. Calmness in the speaker, even if created by conscious self-control, is reassuring and relaxing to the listeners.

Coping with nerves: the credibility problem

2009-09-05T15:09:00.003+07:00

Nervousness is probably the biggest problem to be surmounted for most inexperienced speakers. Were it not for nervousness, common sense, and normal intelligence, would ensure that most talks were interesting and well planned. But nervousness seems to disable common sense, and normal intelligence gets swamped by anxiety. A blog like this is needed just because speakers get nervous. Like a rabbit caught in a car’s headlights, they don’t know which way to run. All sorts of bizarre behavior results, unless there are firm guide lines. Like clinging to the wreckage in a storm, any fragment of advice gives security. Even if the speaker doesn’t feel at all like smiling, for example, the knowledge that he or she ought to smile is enough to make them feel that they are doing the right thing.

Nervousness is a very real problem, and is the root of most of the other problems with speaking. We all talk competently in a group of friends, but as soon as the group of friends becomes a wall of strangers, nervousness usurps our every-day competence, and we need the prop of advice.

Unfortunately, many experts on speaking dismiss nervousness as not worth discussing. Like laziness, or cowardice, these blog seem to imply that it is something to be ashamed of, and certainly not something to be discussed. The speaker may be jollied along with advice like ‘Don’t worry’, or ‘It’ll be all right’. He or she is given the impression that nervousness, like incontinence, is something which is better not thought about. It will go away if you ignore it, and if not, there’s nothing to be done about it. Nervousness is beyond help, these books seem to imply, and only courage will overcome it. Good chaps put a brave face on it, and never mention it to other chaps.

Sadly, all this hearty pretense is no help; it merely increases the sufferer’s sense of his or her own inadequacy. It is also cruel: extreme nervousness is one of the most unpleasant experiences most civilized people go through. It is a form of physical and mental suffering which is unparalleled. Extreme misery, anguished anxiety, and even physical nausea are added to shame and a sense of inadequacy. Embarrassment is the least of the suffering. It may take weeks, months even to get over the misery caused by a catastrophic failure to cope with nervousness. The speaker may go through savage reassessments of his or her abilities as a result of ruining a presentation through nerves. Undoubtedly, nervousness is a serious problem; it needs careful and considered help.

Nervousness can be helped, and eventually reduced to manageable proportions. It is, after all, a purely mental phenomenon. Attitudes, and knowledge about the cause and function of the anxiety, advice about how to reduce it, and experience which renders the terrifying familiar, are the clues. Much of the work on nervousness has been done by musicians: talented young musicians find the intricate dexterity required to play their instruments turned into clumsiness in front of judges and audiences. Since it is clearly a waste, musicians have studied the problems of tension in performance. Speakers, who have similar problems, can benefit from the knowledge and techniques gained from these studies.

The first thing to learn about nervousness is that it is universal. Every nervous speaker thinks that he or she is the only one in the world to suffer. Compared with the calm competence of every one else, he or she feels their own shameful failure as a personal inadequacy. The truth is that nervousness when facing an audience is very common. Almost everyone suffers from nerves, even experienced professionals, and the reason why we are not aware of this is simply that the basic effect of nerves doesn’t show. Providing the gestures are controlled, butterflies in the stomach are invisible to the audience. So the calm and confident speaker you watched with envy, was almost certainly trembling like a leaf inside: you just couldn’t see it.

It is a good thing that speakers are nervous. Contrary to popular belief, the calm and controlled speaker is acting, he or she is disguising nervousness in a practised simulation of indifference. If he or she were really not nervous, there would be no energy to give the talk: nerves are useful to the speaker, without them he would go to sleep. Even people who make their living from appearing in front of audiences—actors, comedians, performers—are nervous just before going on stage. They rely on these nerves to give them the boost of energy which makes them sparkle. And the shot of adrenalin they get becomes a fix. It is something they can’t do without, and is probably why these people love the stage experience so much. Nervousness is a useful, and essential part of performance, not something to worry about or be ashamed of. The art of effective speaking is not ceasing to be nervous; it is using the nervous energy to improve the talk. Standing up and speaking requires a great deal of effort: the slight lift given by nervousness arouses our energies.

If you feel you have an unusually nervous disposition, you may be surprised to know that you are not alone. Such sensitivity is common; psychologists calculate that: ‘Between five and eight per cent of the population are unduly anxious.’ Knowing that you are not alone doesn’t change the fact that you are nervous, but it should give you hope that your nervousness can be conquered. One of the more unpleasant features of being very nervous is a sense of isolation, and
the fear of shame if others see that you are nervous. Take heart, there is nothing especially unusual in being highly sensitive, and you are far from alone. Almost certainly, there are compensating advantages in your higher than average levels of arousal, and sensitive response to anxiety. Highly nervous people, for instance, are often of above average intelligence. It is possible to apply this intelligence to solving the problem of nervousness by learning about it, and applying the results of research. The higher sensitivity is also compensated by greater alertness, and awareness of audience reactions. It sounds paradoxical, but is none the less true. Nervous people usually make good speakers, once they have tamed and applied their nervousness.

Note Taking Habit- A Great Help For The Speaker

2009-08-21T10:21:00.005+07:00

One of the first problems a speaker faces when he or she starts to prepare his presentation in earnest, is how is he going to record it so that he is reminded as he talks? In other words, what sort of notes is he going to make? Nine times out of ten, this question is never considered. Some sort of notes are produced, usually depending on factors such as what other people have been seen to do, what sort of notes were used at school, and sheer chance. Notes to speak from seem just to happen, without thought, and the speaker muddles through. Poor notes, however, are an added strain when talking, and can cause you to miss sections of the talk, lose the place, and dry up. So it is worth thinking about the best way of taking notes. As with everything to do with speaking, a little thought in advance saves a deal of embarrassment and confusion on the day.

Notes are to help you

The notes you make are the most important insurance policy for the success of the talk. The product of the preparation stages is a set of notes, and they represent the only permanent part of the talk. Speaking is ephemeral, while notes endure. But notes are not the whole talk. You will find, as you talk, that ideas and facts from the work you did in preparation will come back to you, and you may decide, impromptu, to use a piece of information which you did not put in the notes. There is nothing wrong in this: the purpose of a talk is to say what you know about a subject, and notes are for assistance, not to replace knowledge.

The main advantage of good notes is to ensure that you do not forget what you intend to say. A great deal of research has been done on memory (there are many specialist textbooks on memory, for instance), and one of the most consistent results is that stress affects memory. Its usual effect is to make us forget important things, but stress can also cause complete black-outs of memory, as well as causing sudden vivid reminding about things previously buried in the subconscious. The effect of stress is unpredictable: it makes memory irrational and random. And the speaker is under as much stress as most people experience in their day to day lives. It is therefore especially important that he or she takes steps to compensate for the erratic and unreliable performance of the memory under stress.

Some people are unfortunate enough to go completely numb and silent when facing an audience—their memory switches off. The brain processes that operate recall are notoriously out of reach of the will power. We are quite unaware of the process of laying down memories, we feel no pain, no sense of effort, and no sense of choice. We can only predict, in a fairly random way, what we will find memorable, and what we are likely to forget completely. Brain specialists believe that quite large parts of the grey matter are involved in the recording and recall of memories, just as we now know that huge parts of the brain are involved in decoding the information from our retinas, before passing it on to the conscious part of the brain. But we are not aware of the process of stereoscopic vision, just as we have no consciousness of the processes of memory. We often need some object to remind us; notes are a kind of external memory that is under conscious control. Notes jog your memory, and produce what the audience perceives as a fertile flow of ideas and enthusiasm.

Some people, instead of seizing up in front of an audience, become uncontrollably garrulous under strain. They always find plenty to say; the trouble is that it may, or may not, be relevant. Good notes are just as important for this kind of person. The art of good talking is not just to fill the allotted time; it is to use the time wisely to say as much as possible that is useful and necessary. The most useful function of notes is not just to remind you of the material, but to give it structure. They provide a plan or map of the structure of the talk.

Notes are the main way in which the content and structure of the talk can be controlled. Without notes, most talks are formless ramblings. With notes they can be an orderly set of points, with a clear sequence and coherence which the audience can rely on. Notes should not be thought of just as bits of information to fill the time. Notes are like pigeon holes, into which the subject can be fitted. But the notes are not the pigeons. The facts, ideas, information and anecdotes will come from the speaker’s memory; he or she, after all, is the expert on the subject, and the talk will be more interesting if it is spontaneous and anecdotal. The notes provide the structure of categories, the wood round the pigeon holes, to continue the metaphor, which controls and shapes this flow of information, knowledge, and stories. For this reason, notes should have a prominent and logical sequence of headings. Because their main function is structural, they can also contain cues, quotations, jokes, signposts, and stage directions such as when to stand up, sit down, move to the board, and change to a new topic.

Notes, therefore, should not be a version of the full information. The details are much more interesting, and convincing, if they come directly from the speaker’s memory. The speaker should be like someone engaged in earnest, animated conversation, anxious to tell his listeners about all the facts and ideas he has at his finger tips. If the notes are a dense maze of factual material, he will become more like someone saying his lessons. So notes should be the mere prompting, the skeleton, on which the talk can be built. All sorts of information can form these promptings; but they should consist of thoughts, keywords, and headings, not full sentences.

Spoken Language is Not Written Language.

2009-08-19T11:18:00.005+07:00

Spoken language has two other important differences from written language. Firstly, speaking uses much repetition. The typical way of explaining, amplifying, and exploring a point is to add an extra phrase in a sort of phonological bracket. By dropping or raising the voice, it is made clear to the listener that the information is a sort of sideline, or footnote, which is meant to clarify what is being said, rather than introduce a new point. Speakers also tend to restart sentences in different ways, trying to get across what they mean by different routes, and when they feel the point is clear, not bothering to complete or tidy up what they have started to say. There is also much trying out of different words, and rhetorical repetition for emphasis. All these features contribute to the muscular, flexible, and alert feeling of spoken language. It is like a living contact with the mind of the speaker, whereas written language is a fossil record of his or her thoughts.

The second way in which spoken language differs from written language is that the choice of vocabulary is very different. Written vocabulary is formal, and explicit. Spoken vocabulary tends to be familiar, and everyday. Indeed, it is usually possible to get someone to simplify and clarify a tortuous written sentence by asking him to look away from the page, and say what he means. A writer who has solemnly written: ‘Tests were conducted on the loader to ascertain the maximum failure capacity’, when asked what he meant, would say something like: ‘We loaded it up until the cable broke’; a simpler, and clearer, way of explaining a technical point.

Writers, then, use formal grammar, single expressions, and elaborate, abstract vocabulary: speakers use intonation, repeat things until they are clear, and use everyday words. There are great differences between spoken and written language, and when written language is read out, it is less effective. I am not suggesting that there is a difference of worth, between written and spoken language. They are simply used for different purposes; one is to communicate face to face, the other communicates remotely. Misusing the difference is one cause of boring presentations. It you read out written language, your voice will naturally lack intonation. The structure of what you say will be over formal, and the vocabulary will be too abstract. This is why listening to written papers being read out is so difficult. The listener gets no sense of contact with the speaker’s mind—there seems to be a wall of fog between the living mind of the speaker, and the listener.

Written language often sounds false and clumsy when it is read out, and what I have said in the last few paragraphs should explain why. The added problem is that many people are poor readers; their reading voices are stumbling and monotonous. It is possible to read written text in an interesting way—actors do it constantly—but it requires great skill. It is certainly not to be recommended as a way of giving a technical or informative presentation.

Another disadvantage of reading is that the presenter loses eye contact with the audience. Because he or she has to follow the text, it is impossible to do more than glance up at his listeners from time to time, whereas someone speaking spontaneously will naturally be looking round at the listeners. When reading, a presenter also loses the chance to make gestures and arm movements, which are naturally suppressed when reading from a script because they seem artificial. None-the-less reading a written text is a method often used. It is one I don’t recommend. In all but exceptional circumstances, it is a sure way of losing the attention and interest of the audience. It is an expensive way of buying the confidence that you won’t forget what you are going to say. You may not forget, but the audience almost certainly will.

If you are terrified of forgetting what to say, there is a compromise which helps boost confidence, by providing safety points to return to if the impromptu flow of words breaks down. The technique is to write down the opening and closing sentences, as well as sections within the speech, for use in the case of emergencies. By providing islands of security, you will increase your self-confidence. It also provides natural resting places, and if the worst happens, and you dry up, there is something to say while you are finding your feet again. But don’t write down more than a few sentences, otherwise the whole talk will acquire the monotonous flavour of the written script. The first sentence of each new topic, and the conclusion of each section, is as far as you should go. In between, use ordinary notes.

The Closing Stages- The Time To Get Remembered

2009-08-16T20:16:00.003+07:00

When a speaker conduct his speaking infront of a group of audience, he/she need to communicate the message that he/she likes to do. And for this communication of message, speaker need to generate audience attention into the speech and more over he/she need to sustain that attention throughout the speech. At the same time, when speaker ends or close his speech he need to ensure a good closing. Because, closing is the thing which people remember for longer and the total speech's success ultimately depends on the closing. A good closing make the speech a successful one, make the speaker an effective speaker with good speaking skill.

Having started successfully, and carried the talk on effectively without losing the audience’s attention, time is up and you now have to finish. How do you do this successfully? There are tactics for finishing, just as there are tactics for opening, and thought about what you are trying to achieve will, as always, improve the performance. Many people feel that the ending is more than half the battle. Certainly, the impression which the audience will carry away with them will be strongly influenced by what happens in the last few minutes of the talk.

The essential aim is to round off the presentation on an up beat. You can, for instance, get attention again by a vital, arresting and memorable fact or idea. Another way of finishing is to tie up all the loose ends by restating the sub-headings you used, restating the main heading or title of the talk, and restating the conclusion you came to. But whichever tactic you choose, it is important to remember that the last sentences must be telling. So the encoding you chose for your closing remarks should be memorable. Try to find a good phrase, a witty or stylish way of putting the point, or some clear statement of the main aim of the talk, for the last thing you say. It can help to have the last sentence or two written down in your notes. If you are nervous about forgetting it, or getting confused, it may even be worth trying to learn it off by heart.

The virtue of all these tactics is that they will save you spoiling the effect of the presentation by falling into a weak or confused ending, which trails off in embarrassment. A surprising number of speakers seem unable to end firmly, but mumble on with increasing indecision at the end of their talk. Never end weakly with: ‘Shall I go on? …’; or ‘What I should have said if I’d had time was…’; or ‘What I intended to say was…’; or ‘I think that’s all I have to say’. The audience will remember the last point, or sentence, clearly. If that last sentence is a shambolic confusion of indecision, with the texture of a rice pudding, then the whole talk will be remembered as weak. End boldly, with a final statement of your main point which you fly like a banner, before sitting down.

The aim of the concluding sentences is to make sure that your talk goes somewhere. It should not just peter out in confusion. Karl Lashley told a nice anecdote:

I attended the dedication, three weeks ago, of a bridge at Dyea, Alaska. The road to the bridge for nine miles was blasted along a series of cliffs. It led to a magnificent steel bridge, permanent and apparently indestructable. After the dedication ceremonies I walked across the bridge and was confronted with an impenetrable forest of shrubs and underbush, through which only a couple of trails of bears led to indeterminate places.

Make sure that your proudly constructed talk does not lead to a wilderness of bear-tracks! It is also a courtesy, if you are speaking as part of a longer seminar, conference, or presentation, to prepare the ground for the next topic and speaker. Something simple like: “It’s now coffee time. After a ten minute break, Alan will tell you about the stress calculations used in the project,” will form a neat conclusion. This tactic helps to give the audience a sense of continuity.

If you are not followed by someone else, make sure that you end as strongly as possible. ‘So we see that nutrition is a vital element in the health of the community’, or ‘Voice-recognition is developing rapidly, and within ten years will be commonplace’, or ‘the familiar chlorate process, which is the mainstay of our company profits, is much more complex than most of us realize’, is the sort of clear statement that is needed. If you start clearly, keep people aware of where you are going throughout the talk, whether it is short or long, and end firmly and impressively, your talk is going to be remembered as an effective presentation. Judging by the average standards of presentation one hears, it may well be the best of the day.

Signposting All The Way- Important For A Good Speech

2009-08-15T20:47:00.003+07:00

When a speaker conduct his speaking infront of a group of audience, he/she need to communicate the message that he/she likes to do. And for this communication of message, speaker need to generate audience attention into the speech and more over he/she need to sustain that attention throughout the speech. Without audience's attention, it is very difficult for the speaker to communicate their ideas with their audience. And in absence of audience's attention, speaker become failure to have an effective communication. Now, to sustain the attention of audience into the speech, speaker can do something which is much familiar as Signposting.

The idea of ‘signposting’ originated with Tolman in 1951. The idea was that people become mentally disorientated by new information, and need to find their bearings. On an intellectual journey, signposts which point the way, and help to locate ideas, help people to understand. Tolman also speaks of a ‘placing-need’ which makes people want to have a map in their minds into which they can place the new information. Within that perceptual field clear orientating references and signposts are needed if the listener is to absorb information comfortably.

Once the opening stages of the talk are over, and the audience have been told where they are going, it is important to continue to signpost throughout the talk. This is done by announcing the topic, giving a heading, or listing keywords every time you start a new section of the talk. These can be written up on a board, flip chart or overhead projector. You should also give one or two sentences at the beginning of each section which act as an overview of the section. After developing the section, explaining and clarifying the point, giving examples, and discussing them, you should then come back to a sentence or two of summary and conclusion. Some signal is then needed to alert the audience to the fact that a new topic is about to start. Writing the new heading up, which requires you to change position, and pause while writing, is undoubtedly the best technique. But shifting position, allowing a significant pause, or even a change in the tone of voice is better than nothing.

The next section of the talk should start in the same way, with a sentence or two of definition, followed by explanation, examples, and clarification. As the talk progresses, you should also stop and take stock frequently, collecting together what has been said so far, summarizing the overall plan of the talk, and showing how what has been said so far leads on to the next point. Make cumulative summaries as you go through the talk. Each time you change topic and move onto a new subject, summarize in a sentence or two what you have said so far, refer to the map of the structure of the talk, and then announce the new heading. It seems easy and obvious, but many speakers do these things so quietly that no-one notices. The audience wake up from a day-dream to discover that the topic has changed while they were away.

So clear and repeated signposting is needed, if the talk is to be effective. Within each section, you should give the general picture at the beginning, and not launch into the body of the topic until you have given them an overview both of the topic itself, and of the way you are going to treat it. The effect of this is that within the overall structure each sub-element should have its own structure. Donald Bligh suggests that each point should be a version of the ‘general form’ of ‘making a point’ He lists these moves as follows:

Concise statement
Use the Board
Re-expression
Feedback
Recapitulation and restatement
Elaboration

More detail
Illustration
Explanations
Relate to other points
Examples

A structure of this kind within each section will help to make the progress of the talk easier to understand and clearer. One of the difficulties that a speaker faces is that there is no lay out code in speech, such as the indentations and blank spaces which are used in written material to make the structure clear. The speaker must supply all these props to understanding with his voice. This is why it is especially important to emphasize the change of topic using as many different techniques as possible. Imagine a book in which the chapter headings were all set in the same size type as the rest of the page, and had no white space around them. If there were no paragraph breaks either, the text would be impossibly difficult to read. There would be a dense blur of information, with no visible shape or structure. Yet this is what happens in most talks. The paragraph breaks, and the white space round the headings must be provided by the speaker’s tone of voice. Even if he emphasizes the change of topic, some of the audience may be day-dreaming at that moment, and miss the change. But if you write the new topic on the board, or flip chart, then when listeners return from their intermittent day-dreams they can see that a new topic has started. It is like leaving a message for an absent person to collect when he returns.

The absence of a layout code also means that listeners can’t scan the page to see the shape of the information, or to look up a point which has gone by. Listening, unlike reading, gives the audience no opportunity to pause, rest and go back over material, at will. Once spoken, the information has gone. So the speaker has a much greater need for clear and simple structure in his information than the writer. The speaker must also be careful not to make mistakes; they can never be unsaid. And the listener must recognize that information lost is never recovered.

There are two more rules which must be added to the overall advice on how to glue together your points to make them clear, structuring a presentation. Firstly, there should be clear explaining links to connect point to point. Secondly, each individual point should follow the ‘rule-example-rule’ principle, where a brief statement of the fact, idea, or point, is followed by an example or illustration, and then that fact, idea or point is repeated. A simple phrase, at most a sentence, will do for the first statement. Any amount of illustration can reinforce this, depending on the importance and complexity of the point, and a summary restatement should follow.

One final piece of advice; it is often very helpful to be quite open and honest about things you find difficult to explain. By taking your listeners into your confidence, you will enlist their interest in the solution to the problem of how to explain the point. You will also make them feel that their difficulty in understanding is not because you are a bad explainer, but because the point itself is complicated. You align yourself with them, and make the point itself the enemy. They are then more sympathetic, more aware, and in trying to help you, will accelerate their own understanding.

Signposting For Longer Speech

A longer presentation (one which lasts more than ten minutes) demands a long span of uninterrupted attention from the audience, and therefore needs more skill in the structuring of the talk. Ten minutes may seem a short period, but as I have said earlier, audiences find it difficult to listen for long without taking little breaks for daydreams. So longer talks need more organizing, more linking, and more reminders. They have a greater overhead of time which must be devoted to housekeeping activities, like keeping tabs on where the talk has got to, and keeping the structure fresh in the audience’s mind.

Signposting in a longer talk becomes more important. The speaker must provide a thread to help the audience to find their way through the maze. He or she must remember how limited any listener’s span of attention is, and offer regular directions for the lost travellers. The basic rule is that the receiver of the message always needs more explanation than the speaker thinks he does, because he is not as familiar with the material.

In a longer talk some technique must be found to interrupt the monologue with a different activity every five or ten minutes. Break up long stretches of time by strategically timed visual aids. An alternative is to schedule occasional brief periods of discussion to provide relief. The audience are stretching their legs mentally, if they are given a chance to talk themselves. The discussion period doesn’t need to be long; a few minutes relaxed talking as a group will help the listeners approach the next section of the talk feeling refreshed. If the speaker breaks up a long talk, and provides variety in this way, the audience will experience it as several short talks rather than one long one.

All this advice on how to reduce the burden of listening by breaking up a long period into shorter ones is not based on laziness. Psychological research gives clear evidence that shorter sessions improve learning. The early work on memory showed the importance of rest periods. Hermann Ebbinghaus, for example showed that the efficiency of learning improved when he included short periods of rest between learning sessions. At first he was surprised by this, since he expected periods of rest to cause people to forget some of what they had just learned, and so reduce the overall amount of learning. But he realized that the reminiscence effect was causing learning to improve. The conclusion from the experiments was that both primacy and recency increase the efficiency of a learning session which is punctuated by breaks. A single session benefits from primacy and recency only at the beginning and the end. But if the learning task is broken into several shorter sessions, with breaks in between, there are more occasions when the primacy and recency effects can assist learning.

It seems that the memory, like some muscles, tires easily, but recovers quickly. Ebbinghaus’s results showed quite clearly that the benefit of a break increased as the length of the break increased up to a maximum of ten minutes. After that, lengthening the break to a quarter or half an hour made no difference. The result has been confirmed by many subsequent researchers. This is why most effective courses and conferences schedule ten minute breaks every hour or so. It is also why a presentation which lasts more than ten minutes needs to have built in variety, and breaks of various kinds, so that the listeners can recover their mental energy. The key to an effective talk is variety, whether the talk is long or short. And the key to an effective longer talk is to break it down by whatever means available into a sequence of shorter sessions. If you spend time devising ways of breaking up the long session, you will be rewarded by an alert and attentive audience.

Generating Audience Attention To The Speech- Important Aspect For The Speaker

2009-08-14T19:28:00.001+07:00

Communication is a great skill to possess. And speaking skill is an important corner stone of overall communication. During speaking, speaker need to generate audience's attention to the speech. Without attention, it is very difficult for the speaker to share their ideas with their audience successfully. And in that case, total communication failed. So to have an effective communication, speaker need to generate enough attention in to the speech so that he can gain success in his speaking skill as well as in the total communication.

After making clear who and what you are, you must launch into your subject without delay. Don’t beat about the bush for several minutes, get into the meat of the subject straight away. One way of starting the talk is to put a question in the audiences’ minds. Do they know how the raw material for the process is prepared? Have they thought about whether the I/O routines can be speeded up? Do they realize the financial drain on profitability which spoilage causes? Such a tactic focuses their attention on the issue, and helps them to listen positively to the information which follows it.

Another way of directing attention to a problem is an arresting quotation from a dissatisfied customer. Another way might be a photograph of a structure which has collapsed. It is also useful to point out how the present talk fits into previous talks, and a question related to the last presentation will help to remind the audience of what they already know, and how this new presentation will fit in. All these tactics have one central aim—to make sure the listeners realize what the purpose of the talk is, so they can fit the new information they are being given during the talk into a familiar conceptual pattern. Often speakers ignore this need to bring the subject into sharp focus at the beginning of the talk. In many presentations the consequences of neglect of the ideas and information are described at the end, rather than the beginning. In one lecture on dietary control, for instance, slides of the deformities which resulted from malnutrition were shown at the end; they would have been better shown at the beginning, so the audience could visualize the problems to be solved. ‘These show what can happen; what can we do to prevent it?’ would have made an excellent opening to the talk.

Asking questions is the best way to promote thought. Such questions may be only rhetorical, and not expect an answer from the audience, but Sime and Boyce showed that rhetorical questions raised the level of attention, and improved the amount of learning.1 We are so conditioned to provide answers to sentences in question form, that our minds are subconsciously aroused towards an answer, even if we remain silent. Asking questions is an effective way of introducing a topic.

Other methods may also be used to increase interest and arousal. Advertisers typically use irrelevant messages about sex, status and emotions before selling their product. In the same way a stimulating fact or picture will arouse the audience and improve their reception of a quite different message which may follow. Remember Hillaire Belloc’s aphorism: ‘Tell them what you’re going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them that you’ve told them.’ The job of the introductory sentences is to arouse interest in what you are going to tell them, by telling them. Then the talk can go on to expand the subject, assured of attention from the listeners.

The need to arouse and prepare the audience is confirmed by psychological research. Many experiments show that unless the receiver is guided in how to decode the message, he may perceive something different. Psychologists have shown that knowledge about what a person is going to hear can change what he thinks he does hear:

The English psychologist David Bruce recorded a set of ordinary sentences and played them in the presence of noise so intense that the voice was just audible, but not intelligible. He told his listeners that these were sentences on some general topic—sports, say—and asked them to repeat what they heard. He then told them that they would hear more sentences on a different topic, which they were also to repeat. This was done several times. Each time the listeners repeated sentences appropriate to the topic announced in advance. When at the end of the experiment Bruce told them that they had heard the same recording every time—all he had changed was the topic they were given—most listeners were unable to believe it. With an advance hypothesis about what the message will be we can tune our perceptual system to favour certain impressions and reject others.

We may think that the experiment was unfair on the listeners; perhaps they were only trying to please when they invented sentences! But the central fact remains; we hear what we expect to hear. Therefore, if what is going to be said in a talk is announced at the beginning, the listeners more easily receive the message. Another experiment supports the same conclusion. Psychologists measured the effect of mental ‘set’ in perception by asking their subjects to repeat words which were flashed quickly in front of them, but after they were given different expectations about what they were going to see. In a typical experiment people were briefly shown the name of an animal, such as ‘horse’. One group were told they would see the name of an animal, another that they would see the name of a flower, and the third only that they would see a word. People who were expecting to see the name of an animal recognized the word most quickly and made fewest mistakes. People who were not expecting to see any particular word did second best. And those who were expecting to see the name of a flower made most mistakes when shown the name of an animal. They also reacted more slowly.

Listening to a complicated explanation, or a mass of unfamiliar facts, is similar to seeing words flashed too briefly in front of your eyes, or listening to a voice over a harsh mash of noise. They are all situations where the message must be disentangled from distractions. What the audience is told about the subject of the talk will condition what they understand the talk to be about. This is why it is so important to arouse interest in the subject, and be clear about what the purpose and content of the talk is going to be, in the first few minutes of the talk.

It is surprising how easily people are misled by what they expect to see, rather than what they actually do see. Abercrombie uses the following example. Read these labels quickly:

PARIS

IN THE
THE SPRING

ONCE

IN A
A LIFETIME

BIRD

IN THE
THE HAND

Only when asked to look more carefully do most people notice that the ‘a’ and ‘the’ are repeated in the middle of the phrase. We don’t expect to see it, and therefore we don’t see it. But if we are told, we see it easily. Telling people what they are about to perceive will radically affect what they do perceive. The conclusion for the speaker is clear. Telling your audience in advance what to expect is an essential part of presenting information to them. In the face of such clear evidence, it is inexcusable to omit the preparation and warning phase of the talk. The subject must be made clear in the opening moments of the presentation.

The Opening Of The Speech: Very Critical For Success

2009-08-10T11:10:00.003+07:00

Speaking is a great skill. Through speaking you are sharing your ideas with your audience. If you can successfully communicate then they will influenced by your ideas and their leel of influence is the parameter to measure your success as a speaker. And to have success in speaking, we need to have a good Opening.

You have now reached that long dreaded moment—you have to stand up and start speaking. What do you say? How do you get started? Remember that the primacy effect will ensure that what you say in the first few sentences will be among the best remembered parts of the talk, remember that first impressions are lasting impressions: so how are you going to get started effectively? As with everything in speaking, thought makes the problem easier. There are a variety of starting tactics, and you can select between them on the basis of your own experience, as well as the type of audience. The opening which every speaker wants to make, but few succeed in pulling off, is the dramatic start with an arresting fact, quotation, or remark. Something surprising, exciting, disturbing, or plain unusual; something which will make the audience gasp with admiration, and sit up to take notice for the rest of the talk.

Not many speakers manage this effect, though everyone seems to dream of it. If you have such a fact or idea, it is certainly worth trying, for it does have the effect of alerting the listeners, and focusing their minds on the subject of the presentation. But it is difficult to achieve just the right tone of confidence, and drama, in the first sentences. One problem is that it is often difficult to get the first few words in the right tone, volume, and steadiness. Only when the voice has warmed up, can it be relied upon to produce the right effect. It is often more sensible, particularly if you are inexperienced as a speaker, to start with the simple matters of fact that the audience need to know.

What questions will be in the audience’s minds at the beginning of the talk? To being with, simple practical matters like what is the talk about? Who are you? What are your qualifications, experience, and interests? How will it help them? Why should it interest them? What right have you to be speaking to them on this topic? These are the questions likely to be occupying the audience’s minds, and they will need an answer before they will open their minds to the information you have to give. They will not make their memories available to you until they are sure the effort will not be wasted. If you do not satisfy some of these points, the lingering doubt will corrupt the input of information, and continue to interfere with their perception of your message.

Satisfying these questions is so important that even if you do start with a successful attention jerker, you will need to indicate answers to most of these questions within the first few minutes. You may have been introduced by a chairperson, who should have covered these points. But if he or she hasn’t, try to fill in the missing details. It is undoubtedly much easier to listen to someone if you know exactly who and what they are, and what they are talking about. The easiest opening tactic is to reinforce what the chairperson said in introducing you. Extend it, fill in the gaps, but do not just repeat it. It gets you off the ground with the talk, and once you have started, it is easier to carry on talking.

The first task, then, is to establish rapport with the audience, gaining its confidence, and thereby making it prepared to give attention. To do this, explain how and why you are there, and what previous contacts you have had with this and similar organizations. It is also wise to check that you can be heard. These preparatory stages should not be allowed to take a lot of time; but briefly and clearly stated they are useful opening tactics. Thus, for example, a speaker’s first sentences might be:

I’ve been invited by Dr. XXXXXX to talk to you about the software of voice-recognition programs. I worked on this problem for nearly ten years with JCN, a company very similar to yours. I now run my own software house, and have talked to many groups like yours. Incidentally, can you hear me all right at the back? I’m going to talk for about 30 minutes on three main topics…
To ensure that these important points are not missed, construct your opening sentences from a check list, such as this. Don’t launch into an autobiography, each point needs only a single phrase, but it is useful for the audience to know these things:

Who invited me here, or arranged the talk?
What is the title of the talk?
Have I given a presentation to this, or any similar organization before?
What is my present job, or status, in which organization?
Can they hear me at the back?
How long am I going to talk for?
What are the main sections in my talk?

If you draft simple answers to these questions, and mention them in the first minute of your talk, you will help to ensure that the audience is content to listen to you.

Keep Breathing space for memory During Speech

2009-08-03T21:39:00.002+07:00

During the body of the talk, it is too easy for ideas to become jumbled together in the listeners’ minds. Unless the speaker is careful to mark the sections with clear signposts, the landscape of the talk will merge into a blur, and few details of the mental journey will be remembered. Where new ideas interfere with ones previously presented there exists what psychologists call ‘retroactive’ interference. Where old ideas interfere with those following (perhaps because they are so arresting that the listener’s mind is still partly dwelling on them) psychologists call it ‘proactive’ interference. The technical terms are not important, but the principle is. Memory depends on clear space around important ideas and facts, and rest or silence is the best form of clear space.

Despite every care, it is still not possible for a speaker to ensure that everything he says is remembered. Partly this is just an inescapable fact of mental life. People forget. Forgetting itself is an interesting subject and psychologists have suggested a number of reasons for forgetting. They include repression, a word coined by Freud to describe the way people force out of consciousness events and ideas which for some reason they do not want to remember. Motivation is as important in forgetting as it is in remembering. Quite slight motives can lead to forgetting, such as an embarrassing professional lapse, which may lead to all information surrounding the situation being repressed.

Other causes of forgetting are the decay of the memory traces for physical reasons, interference from other similar memories, and loss of the ability to locate the memory. According to this last hypothesis, all memories are retained in the brain, but retrieving them is too difficult. Recalling other features of the experience, or working gradually back into our memories, will often enable us to discover memories we had thought lost. Thus my father, writing his autobiography for his grand children in his seventy-second year, started re-telling an incident in which a school-fellow had died of meningitis. To his surprise he found he could remember the boy’s name, and even his address. He had not remembered those facts for sixty years, and certainly could not have recalled them had he been asked. The ‘search’ theory of memory claims that forgetting happens when more and more memories are built up without enough features to differentiate between them. Unless simple clues are given to act as handles, it becomes harder and harder to find any particular fact, from the mass of detail in the memory.

Let me make three final points about memory before concluding this section. The first point is that it is useful to distinguish between active and passive memories. Faces seen at a meeting, for example, remain familiar if we meet them again, even though we may not be able to place a name on them. The image of almost every face we see is retained in the memory; but voluntary access to the information has been lost. Recognition is passive; active recall requires a pathway into the memory. Effective memory relies on clear structures being developed to retain access, and not just on the vividness of the memory itself. The speaker’s task, therefore, is to provide this unforgetable structure, without which the detail amassed in the talk will be lost, like water poured onto sand.

The need for organization to help active memory leads me to the second point. Unless we can see a structure in the details, they are less meaningful, and therefore much more difficult to retain in memory.

It is immediately obvious that learning the first list would be a major task, whereas the middle list is only moderately hard, and the last list is perfectly easy to remember. The conclusion for the speaker is obvious; break up similar facts into patterns. Remember that you must link new ideas into existing ones, using a clear structure, if you want your audience to remember them

The third and final point about memory is a more hopeful one. It is a strange fact that we are usually modest about our memories. Hans Eysenck comments that:

"when you ask most people about their memory, the first thing they usually say is that they have the bad luck to have a very poor memory. There is an interesting contrast here with what happens when you ask people about their intelligence or sense of humour: only a very small percentage of people will admit to below-average intelligence or a poor sense of humour!"

The memory is extraordinarily powerful, much better than we think. When tested on their memory of ten thousand pictures, people recognized 99.6% of them correctly. As the researcher commented: “the recognition of pictures is essentially perfect”. The brain is highly sophisticated and memory itself has no visible limits. The audience could remember much more than they often do; the amount is not limited by any natural maximum capacity. If the speaker prepares his talk in a way which provides the opportunities for memory, and offers a clear scaffolding of organization on which the memories can be hung, there is no limit to what the audience can be
helped to remember.

The structure of reasoning Is Very Important For Preparation of Speaking

2009-08-02T22:15:00.003+07:00

The third job of preparation, after selecting the relevant material, and organizing it in a clear and simple structure, is to form the details into a coherent argument. Every talk has a case to argue, unless it has no more structure than a telephone directory. The way this case is argued, the way the details are marshalled as evidence for the points being made, is an important part of the planning.

The first point is that you cannot make the argument complete, and prove every point and detail. Spoken argument can only sketch the outlines of the case. It gives an emphasis and immediacy, through personal involvement, and immediate feedback from the audience, but it does not give a forum for the fine points and the mechanics of scientific proof. Speaking can only offer the bold outlines of proof, not the inner workings, of the argument. The details are better written down. So if you have to present a case which has a detailed proof, you must summarize, give a few salient details, and refer your audience to the published papers, or internal reports.

Skimming over the details of reasoning does not relieve the speaker of the need to be accurate. It is wise to avoid apparently spurious argument; the audience will spot it. Ogden and Richards warn about the ‘process of ‘lubrication’, the art of greasing the descent from the premises to the conclusion.’ While such a process may seem attractive, you should not imagine that the audience is less sharp, just because they have fewer details. They have more time to think, and will be able to bridge the gap between generalizations, to work out the details for themselves. Unless the story hangs together, they will not believe what you say. Accuracy is just as important in spoken presentations, as it is in published papers.

The art of conveying an argument in a spoken presentation lies, then, in the selection of the examples to use. Most scientific arguments are based on induction. But you should never try to offer complete induction, listing tables of figures and results. In a talk you can only state the hypothesis, use a few illustrative examples of the kind of results obtained, and state the conclusions. Of course, you must make sure that the examples you give are typical. One way to do this is also to give exceptions to validate the examples, and forestall criticisms.

The old adage is: ‘The exception proves the rule’. This saying, incidentally, is usually misunderstood, because ‘proof means test, as in ‘proof spirit, or ‘proving’ a gun. The adage means that the rule is checked by the exception. Can the exception dent or explode the rule you are trying to prove? Will the rule survive? The purpose of giving exceptions is to see whether the exception can be explained away as an irrelevance, not a true exception, or an example of some other rule altogether. If not, then the rule must of course be modified to take account of the facts which it does not satisfactorily explain.

The psychology of audiences requires that an attempt is made to illustrate a rule, or general conclusion, with obvious and typical facts, as well as apparent exceptions. The speaker’s job is to allay doubts, and calm suspicions, not to produce cast iron proofs. He has also to explain and clarify the rule, and exemplification is often the best way of explaining, as well as the best way of justifying, a conclusion. But as speaker you should never lose sight of the role of examples as aids to the audience, rather than as elements in a scientific method. If you keep this distinction in mind, you will be able to persuade yourself when preparing the talk that not all details, facts and figures are relevant to the task. A carefully selected set of illustrative examples is all that the structure of the reasoning requires in verbal presentation.

In considering the type of examples to choose, the speaker must find what will be easiest for the audience to understand in the limited time available. Thus, there is evidence that human beings prefer direct proof to indirect proof. That is to say they prefer to be shown that something is the cause, not that all the other possibilites can not be the cause. This seems to be because of the universal tendency to cognitive economy: in other words people like the simple and direct route to a conclusion, rather than one which requires sustained attention, a sharp memory, and active deduction. So the wise speaker will construct his argument as a direct, not an indirect, proof. The aim should be to give strong, simple arguments, which offer clear, uncomplicated reasons, not elaborate and intricate analyses.

Organization of Material: Important Part of Preparation For Speaking

2009-08-01T21:30:00.003+07:00

An early decision you must make when preparing a talk, is how are you going to organize the material. Read through the notes you have gathered, selecting what is most useful, and considering the best arrangement. No talk which is nothing but detail from beginning to end will have much permanent effect; nor will a talk which appears to make only one point. Research shows quite clearly that the listeners remember better, and remember more, if they have a sense of the shape of the talk. Any subject can be broken up into separate points. Even if your talk is about one chemical reaction, say, you can break it down into an overview, the raw materials, the theory of the process, the construction of the reactor vessels, the control and supervision of the reaction, the discharge and customer delivery problems, and a general summary of the process. In this way, one subject becomes several points. The listeners must be able to grasp the structure of the talk: make sure that you make the overall pattern of your presentation plain to the audience.

The only way to make a pattern plain is to make it bold. Since a grasp of the pattern is so important to a satisfactory sense of understanding, the best technique is to make each individual section, as well as the overall pattern, simple, logical and clear. Most speakers fail to realize just how strong and stark this pattern must be. They forget how much contrast is needed to make the picture stand out. Because they are familiar with it themselves, they do not realize that the audience, not quite awake anyway, may find a new subject confusing.

I heard one talk which had been a confusing drone of detail: but when asked the speaker insisted that his notes were clearly structured into five different sections. He had simply failed to make it clear to the listeners when he was moving from section to section. It was clear enough to him—he had his notes in front of him. But the audience couldn’t see the notes, and were mystified every time the subject seemed to have changed without warning. It is almost impossible to make the structure too clear: the listeners need to grasp the shape, pattern, or structure of the talk so that they have a framework to hang all the details on. Unless they perceive this structure, they will be left with a mass of shapeless details. The job of the speaker is to make the framework clear. It is difficult to overdo that job.

The choice of pattern is the next important decision to be made in preparing the talk. Ask yourself whether the arrangement of information you have chosen has a discernible pattern. If so, is that pattern suitable for the type of audience, the type of talk, and the subject matter (in that order)? Most important, will the audience perceive that pattern? It is very difficult to understand, when we have seen a pattern ourselves, that others may not be able to see it. Yet there is evidence that seeing a pattern is something which is learned, not something inevitable. For example, when the Pygmies in the Congo jungles were first shown black and white photographs they could see nothing but an abstract pattern of black and white blobs. They had to learn to perceive this flat, apparently random sheet of blobs and smears as an image which imitated the real three dimensional world. Your audience may be like the Pygmies in their understanding of the pattern of organization in your presentation. Make sure that you explain the structure of the talk, so that lack of familiarity will not make the listeners see your talk as a random maze.

Psychologists have done much research on how we perceive patterns, and what sort of patterns are most easily understood by human minds. It is worth pausing for a few pages, to look at this work, because it illustrates very clearly what the speaker must do if he or she wants his audience to understand. I have chosen four topics in the perception of patterns to start you thinking about the kind of organization a talk needs. The first of these is Gestalt psychology, the second is the importance of our sense of place, the third is the significance of patterns of seven elements, and the fourth is the way we chunk details to make them easier to understand and remember.

The first topic I want to explore is the theories of the Gestalt psychologists. A group of early experimental psychologists working in Germany, the Gestalt psychologists, showed in a series of elegant experiments that human beings naturally see patterns in the objects around them. This tendency was universal, and was a powerful element in human understanding of reality. We grasped the mass of detail in the real world, only by seeing it as part of a pattern. The Gestalt psychologists formulated laws for the type of patterns which were most easily perceived by the human mind. It is wise to follow these rules in the construction of a pattern of organization, because they define what will be seen as a pattern, and what will be seen as a jumble. Max Wertheimer suggested five laws— similarity, proximity, closure, good continuation and membership character—which the mind used to impose order through pattern.

Obviously, patterns can be most easily made from things which are similar, and close together. Five trees of the same kind, standing in a group on the sky line, will always be seen as a pattern. So will three blue cars of the same make next to each other in a car park. And so will the three advantages of several different kinds of software, when balanced against the three disadvantages of each kind. Closure, and good continuation are more technical ideas. Human beings want things to be complete, and we will often make the completion ourselves if it doesn’t exist in reality.

A drawing of a circle which has a gap in it will be seen, and remembered, as a complete circle. Similarly, if the talk about software only mentioned two disadvantages in the third of the types, most people in the audience will remember three disadvantages for each type. They will even invent the missing disadvantage, or transfer it from another type, to make a complete pattern of disadvantages. Good continuation is a similar requirement in patterns. If a line is continuous, we can see it as a pattern more easily than if it has large, random gaps. Usually, we fill in these gaps ourselves. Thus the line in the middle of the road is seen as a line, even though it is half bare asphalt surface, and half short white dashes.

Finally, membership character means that it is easier to perceive a pattern if the objects all seem to belong to the same group. Thus it will be easier to remember a group of points if they all belong to the same topic. A talk about five important engineering principles in bridge design, with one section on the power output of modern engines, would fail on this principle. Most of the audience would perceive the section on engines as a digression; they would remember only the five principles, and probably also remember that there were some red herrings in the talk. If, however, the talk had been presented as six principles of engineering, applied to metal structures, such as bridges, engines, and steel framing, it would have been grasped as a pattern.

The results of Gestalt psychology are widely accepted. The ideas can be applied to ensure that the organization of a talk has a pattern which is easy to grasp. If the structure of the talk fits in comfortably with the natural way the human mind grasps patterns, it will be better understood and better remembered. Try to use the principles in laying out your talk using similar sections, clearly part of the same topic, and all related to and continuous with each other.

Thoughtful Selection: The First Thing Speaker Should Do During Preparation

2009-07-31T11:41:00.003+07:00

Speaking is always very much critical point to have effective communication. An expert who have effective communication skill always need to have good command over speaking skill. Effective speaking skill will always help people to build an effective communication etween people through building rapport and exchanging feedbacks. You have to work hard to improve your speaking skill as to improve your effective communication skill. In this regard, i am here discussing the phase where you need to select what you are going to deliver through your speech.

The first important decision in making a selection of material is what you are going to leave out, not what you are going to put in. Talks are not for the transfer of a mass of information from one mind to others. That job is better done by paper. They are best used to give an overview of the subject, to create interest and enthusiasm. If you are already expert in a subject, you must now decide what the audience don’t need to know; if you have to work on a new subject, as soon as you have understood it, you will have to make decisions about what is not needed in the talk.

It is a mistake to try to pad the talk out with masses of information and detail, in the belief that the audience will be impressed by your knowledge. They won’t be—they will simply go to sleep. The amount of information which can be absorbed in one session when listening is strictly limited. The listening situation is quite different from sitting down with a book at a desk, and making notes. When listening, it is not possible to do more than gain an overall impression, and perhaps a handful of facts. Hard, dense packed information, cannot be communicated in talks; it is a mistake to try.

This fact is common experience—think how many actual details you remember from the last technical talk you heard—but it is encouraging to find it supported by research. Erskine and O’Morchoe did an experiment, in which they taught one class only essential principles with little detail, and then compared their knowledge with another class which had been given a lot of details. The first class did better. Their conclusion was that too much material causes interference, and the audience remember less, not more.

Too much detail, then, is counter-productive in a talk (to use one of the familiar buzz-words of the 1970s). Factual information can only be used as illustration, or example, never as the substance of the talk. A verbal presentation communicates attitudes, enthusiasms, impressions, not facts. To try to battle against this natural situation will only alienate the audience, and reduce, not increase, the amount of information that is remembered. If you use cleverly designed visual aids, you may be able to incorporate a few figures and hard facts. But you certainly cannot expect the talk to be the source of reference for this information.

If you need to transfer a mass of solid figures, it is best to give a handout, with the figures tabulated for reference. You can then refer to a sample selection of the figures during the presentation, to illustrate the general point. But the aim of the talk should not be to learn detail. If you are talking on a technical subject, the audience should leave the talk with a desire to go further into the subject, or an impression of the range of complexity the subject embraces. They should not, and cannot, expect to walk out of the room with a mass of figures, facts, and details securely pinned inside their heads. Talks don’t do this. Detailed learning has to be done with paper at a desk; talks are for interest and general information, not the transfer of a dense mass of information.

The first task, then, is to select the material, and reduce the bulk of detail to manageable proportions. Selection, however, requires an aim, and this aim must be specific, not vague. It is impossible to make decisions about whether to reject, or leave in, a particular fact unless there is a very definite image of the audience and its aims in mind. So you must always select your material not for a general talk on the subject, but for a specific speaking task: for this audience, this task, and this amount of time. One consequence of this rule is that each talk you give must be considered separately. A general purpose talk will probably result in a vague presentation which will satisfy none of its audiences.

Another factor which must be considered when selecting information is the unloading rate, and the digestibility of what you are saying. People who are experts in a subject often fail to remember that it has taken them many years to get their minds around it all, and that what seems second nature to them now, may be confusing and alarming to a newcomer. The rate at which new information is offered is an important factor in the ability of the mind to absorb it. This factor, often not even considered, is so important that it is worth spending a little time on it.

Typically, experts assume the audience can absorb information faster than they actually can. I have rarely seen an expert making his subject too simple. So it is fairly safe to assume that you must introduce new ideas more slowly than you think necessary, and never more quickly. There are many techniques available to modify the rate at which new information is provided. You can, for example, modify the rate by repetition, example and anecdote. Simply repeating the same information in different words effectively halves the unloading rate. You can also open up more breathing space between ideas by adding new examples, which illustrate the same point, and you can provide a rest, while focusing on the same point, by including some amusing anecdote which relates to it.

One technique to ease the shock of new information is like getting into cold water by taking a wild plunge. It works by giving the audience a full list of the topics and key words at the beginning of the talk. This is the sudden plunge, and they will then need reassuring that it is not as frightening as it sounds. You can then go back to the beginning, and start again with the first point, slowly making it clear. It is worth spending rather longer on the first point, giving lots of examples and supporting information, because if the audience can be made to understand the first point, they will approach the rest with more confidence. By shocking the audience with their inability to comprehend the whole subject, and then proving to them that they can, after all, be brought to understand the first point they come to, you will boost their confidence in their ability to learn.

Mix old and new Material in Your Speech

Another way of reducing the unloading rate is to ensure that there is a mixture of old and new information. Some speakers seem to think that they must retail only new facts, and can ignore the old facts. This is not so. The old facts are the foundations on which the new facts must be built. These foundations will be buried under all the other daily information the audience must cope with. You must uncover, bring to light, or remind the audience of what they already know before adding new information. It also controls the overall unloading rate. A mixture of familiar facts amongst the new reduces the total strain on memory and comprehension. It gives the audience a satisfying feeling of competence. The feeling of smugness, in the unspoken reaction ‘we know that’, will transfer to a feeling of interest and respect if it is followed by the reaction, ‘but we didn’t know that’. If, just when the feeling is becoming, ‘we can’t cope with all this’, you introduce more familiar material, the audience will feel themselves on firm ground again. By alternating familiar and strange, new and old, the audience’s comprehension is kept flexible and alert.

The technique of mixing familiar and new is supported by theorists of communication. Umberto Eco makes a technical point about the communication of information, which confirms this important principle in selecting information. The content of a presentation cannot be all new; some of it must be familiar, even repetitious, in order to orientate, and rest, the listener’s mind. Eco insists that there must be:

communication dialectic between probability and improbability (that is between the obvious and the new—and ultimately, in a more technical phraseology, between meaning and information). A high rate of improbability runs the risk of not being received, and therefore the message must be tempered in small degree with conventionalities, commonplaces, and must be reiterated…One of the problems in message-coding is the balance between the obvious and the new. How few conventionalities are necessary to communicate a piece of information (as a new thing?).

To achieve this controlled unloading rate, with a mixture of familiar and new information, you must carefully select the examples and analogies. Of course, it is not possible to give a formula for the exact unloading rate appropriate for a particular audience, or to provide an infallible rule so your presentation will be just right. But this doesn’t matter. What matters is that you have thought about the problem, and are aware that you must watch the rate at which you put out new ideas.

Judging the selection of material is more a matter of conscious awareness, than of perfect correctness. Thinking is what matters; don’t blunder on oblivious. Audiences are flexible, subjects have many different ways in which they can be presented, there is usually a willingness to learn in the audience, and an ability to figure it out for themselves. The only rules are to remain aware of audience reaction as you talk, and be prepared to modify what you are saying if blank incomprehension, or glazed stares of boredom, meet what you have said so far.

Vivid and entertaining examples are often the best way to engage an audience’s attention, and to ease the passage of new information. But this does not mean that you should load example after example onto an already satiated audience. Avoid indiscriminate use of all the examples you can think of; choose only the best ones. The examples and analogies you do use must be brief, familiar and concrete. It is often difficult to think of good examples, and one writer on the subject, Donald Bligh, admits that, ‘Personally I find that I can never think of good examples at the time of lecturing. They therefore have to be prepared in advance. In fact it is quite a good idea to collect examples at all times.’ Following the second principle of this chapter, it is a good plan to have more examples than you need, and to make a selection as you talk, depending on which type of examples seems to strike a sympathetic chord, and how much relaxation, or increase, of the unloading rate the situation requires.

There is no doubt that the best way to make the talk memorable is to use materials which are specially relevant to the audience, dramatic, or simply funny. But this can go too far. One speaker, a most distinguished man in his own field, tried to make his lectures memorable in an unusual way. Gray Walter, the famous neurologist, ‘asserted that essential ingredients of a successful lecture were humour, horror and sex. To provide for this alleged desire for sensation, in an erudite lecture on ‘Brain mechanisms and learning’ he used coloured backgrounds for tabulated data in which such outlines as bathing beauties were engraved in white.’ The problem with such tactics is that the audience can sense when they are being pandered to, and soon resent it.

To set out to entertain before anything else will not only fail to communicate the necessary information, it will probably lose the respect of the audience as well. The ideal, as in everything to do with speaking, is to provide as much change and variety as possible. So mix theory with anecdotes; and mix humour with serious points. If you have just given a dry, detailed and strenuous exposition, lighten the atmosphere with an amusing story. And if you have just told a long anecdote, take the opportunity to emphasize a complex theoretical point immediately afterwards. In this way the audience is kept alert by the ever changing demands being made on their attention.

Preparation Is Very Important for Any Speaker

2009-07-31T11:25:00.002+07:00

Communication effectively is an art. Effective communication required a people to share his/her thoughts with audience. Speaking is the way of sharing their thoughts. So effective speaking skill is very important to achieve success in communication. And to have such success in communication, it is required that people need to develop their communication skill. Here, i will discuss about the preparation part of speaking which is very important to have success in communication.

If I were asked to give a one word explanation of the sort of confident, organized presentation we all envy, it would be preparation. The confidence comes from the speaker’s knowledge that he or she has everything ready, has thought through the whole subject, and has enough of the right material to support the presentation. The sense of organization comes from the careful arrangements and selection of what is said, so that all the points are part of a logical order. Neither of these virtues are available to the speaker who bets on his luck (or cheek) and just talks off the cuff. Good speakers are prepared.

How do you achieve this? It is as much to do with the audience’s abilities as the speaker’s, and it is about the logic of organization, as much as the psychology of presentation. But the aim of all the advice is the same—that secure and admirable sense of being well prepared. There are two simple pieces of advice which start this process of preparation in the right way. Firstly, ask yourself what the aim of the talk is, rather than what the subject of the talk is. The first is much more specific than the second. If you plan to talk about a particular subject, you may feel the need to mention everything there is to know about that subject. But if the aim of the talk is to arouse the audience’s enthusiasm for a research project on that topic, a brief sketch of the more exciting possibilities would be more relevant. A complete catalogue of every aspect will merely bore them, and will achieve exactly the opposite result.

There are many cases where the aim may be rather different from the subject. The advantage of thinking about the aim is also that thenthe decisions include the audience, and the audience’s perceptions and needs, not just the speaker’s ideas and knowledge. In practice, a very common mistake is to prepare a presentation as a speech on, for example, ‘Heavy water reactors’, without thinking whether the audience is interested in technical details or scare stories. If the aim is to reassure a local population that the heavy water reactor being built next to them is perfectly safe, then a lot of technical details about the design will probably scare them witless! Think of all your decisions when preparing the talk in terms of what you want the talk to achieve, and not in terms of what the bare topic of the talk is.

The second piece of simple advice is to prepare more material than you need. The idea of preparing ‘just the right amount’ is foolish. Until you start talking, you won’t really know how much material you are going to get through, And if you insist on battling on to the bitter end of what you have prepared, you will almost certainly get the timing wrong, as well as turning the talk into a marathon. Talking should never be a dutiful forced march, it should always be an exploration, a discussion, a fascinating glimpse of the subject. It is an opportunity to learn about something new, which has to stop when the allotted time runs out. The best talks all end too soon, and the sense of having more to say, but having no more time, is the most satisfactory impression to leave.

The talk is also more interesting if the audience feel you are stepping smartly through the topic, summarizing far deeper knowledge and just mentioning the more interesting aspects. This impression is created if the speaker has more material than he needs at his finger tips; the need to summarize and curtail while he or she talks keeps up the level of tension, interest, and expectation. An audience should never come out of a talk feeling that the subject, like them, is exhausted. They should always be fired, rather than quenched. This happens best, if you prepare more material than you need. The habit of having extra material also allows you flexibility in timing when giving the talk, and helps you to answer questions at the end.

Etiquette's of E-mail Writing

2009-07-26T11:41:00.002+07:00

There are some basic ground rules to observe for business e-mail. Above all, be courteous. Remember that the recipient of your message is probably extremely busy. Be respectful, but don’t sound cloying. Put simply, show consideration for the person receiving the message.

If you are writing as a representative of your firm, especially to someone you don’t know, it’s best to err on the side of a more formal tone. This includes spelling out words and limiting your use of abbreviations.

Although you should aim for precision in all your communications, language is often clipped, capitalization is sometimes neglected, and abbreviations may pop up in informal e-mails. For example, many e-mail users dispense with capitalization in e-mails to recipients they know well, since writing in lowercase is much faster and easier—especially when using a handheld device such as a Treo or a BlackBerry.

Internet shorthand—using acronyms or abbreviations for common phrases, such as “TNT” for “till next time,” “TTYL” for “talk to you later,” or “SYS” for “see you soon”—is increasingly finding its way into e-mail business communication. But this abbreviated form of writing may be too casual and even playful for some work environments, so make sure that Internet shorthand is accepted in your organization before you use it.

Use abbreviations or acronyms only in your e-mail exchanges with coworkers or others who understand the lingo, and be sure you know what the terms you use stand for. Some might be a substitute for profane language, and some recipients may find them offensive.

When responding to several people at once, be careful about using the “Reply to all” option and inadvertently passing on other people’s e-mail addresses. Few things do worse damage to your business reputation than being careless with someone’s personal information.

Finally, don’t send a time-sensitive e-mail too late in the business day for people to respond to it, or so that you can put off discussing an important matter. Also, avoid sending messages when you know recipients may not have access to their accounts or will be unable to respond in a timely fashion. Your e-mail is going to be received in a much better spirit if it doesn’t seem strategically timed to the person’s disadvantage.

Dos and Don'ts during writing Business Emails:

Set an example for your employees and peers by practicing good e-mail etiquette (or “netiquette”).

Do reply promptly to e-mails.
Do be polite, but not verbose— make your point quickly.
Don’t respond to chain letters.
Don’t type in capital letters. It’s the e-mail equivalent of SHOUTING.
Don’t include too many hyperlinks or elaborate formatting.
Do be selective when sending replies to all recipients.
Do use the blind carbon copy (bcc) function for an e-mail with a large distribution list to avoid publishing all the recipients’ addresses.
Do close with an e-mail signature.
Do not respond to a recipient in an e-mail on which you’ve been blind-copied.

7 Step Approach to Communicate with Angry People

2009-07-26T11:33:00.001+07:00

The key then to defusing these types of situations and handling them more confidently is as follows:

get the right inner voice
use the right body language
apply critical listening
summarize what the other person has said to check that you have properly understood the situation. (This also reassures them that you have actually listened to them)
apologize if necessary and empathize
ask open questions
tell them what you are going to do to resolve the problem

And finally do it!

Communication with Angry People

2009-07-25T16:31:00.002+07:00

It is never very easy communicating with angry people and when we are faced with anger we often go on the defensive, understandably so because it feels like we are being attacked, verbally! Our instinct is to either lash out (fight back) or run away (flight). Sometimes flight is the best option, distancing yourself before saying something you might regret later. Or if the angry person is coming at you with a knife, for example, then running away is decidedly the best option!

Getting angry with someone who is angry with you will only escalate the situation so it is best if you can deal with this as calmly and as assertively as possible.

Your inner voice is critical here. Instead of thinking ‘How dare this person speak to me like this’, which will only make you aggressive towards them, it is far better to tell yourself to keep calm, that you can handle it.

My own response to anger is to depersonalize it by thinking, ‘Why is this person behaving like this? There must be a reason.’ You need to keep an open mind as to what is causing that anger, trying to see it from the other person’s viewpoint.

When someone is angry it is not usually you they are angry with but the situation. Something has happened to make them angry. You need to deal with it before it escalates into a personal attack.

Get the right body language and inner voice

Body language is critical here. Keep your posture as upright and open as possible, telling yourself, ‘I can handle this, I can deal with this, I can keep calm.’ Take slow breaths. Keep your eye contact on the other person and lean towards them. This takes courage. Mirror the other person’s body language if you can but obviously if they are waving a fist at you it is not advisable to mirror this! What I mean is that if they are standing you should stand too, if they are sitting then sit down.

What to do next

Once you have got your inner voice under control and your body language right, listen hard to what they are saying. When people are angry they do not always express themselves clearly, in fact they rarely do. They let off steam. Allow them to do this and don’t interrupt them. Let them have their say. You can never reason with someone until they have worked their anger out. When they have said what they needed to say then you can start asking them questions but before you do this summarize what they have said, stating the position as they see it. This enables you to check that you have fully understood the situation and shows them that you have listened. Keep your voice assertive, i.e. steady and controlled, neither shouting nor mumbling.

For example:

‘So what you’re saying, Mr. Smith, is that we promised to come and see you on Thursday and after waiting in all day, no one turned up?’

‘Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I had to take a whole day off work.’

Empathize if you need to and apologize if you or your organization is in the wrong.

‘I do apologize Mr. Smith. I recognize how irritating and inconvenient that must have been for you. Now, let me take some details and sort this out for you. What is the order number?’

Here I have apologized and empathized with him (well who wouldn’t?) and then asked him an open question to get the facts. By this time hopefully Mr. Smith is calming down.

Sometimes you can also de-escalate this situation by asking the angry person what action they would like you to take. This puts the initiative (and the solution) firmly back with them, sometimes taking them by surprise and catching them off guard.

Compliant- The Last Personality Trait Group

2009-07-25T16:22:00.002+07:00

The Type D (compliant) likes to comply with the rules and regulations. This means that they are usually very systematic, precise, hyperefficient and bureaucratic. These people love facts and detail, the more the better.

They can often be shy and self-effacing unless they have a high degree of B in their personality. Equally they could need a great deal of assurance depending on their level of intellect. Their compliant nature means they can often be easily agreeing which makes it difficult for you to know exactly what they are really feeling and thinking. They need to feel completely sure of their position and of others’ expectations.

They can give the impression of coldness and disinterest and will use rules, authority and logical argument to influence the actions of others. They have a tendency to correct errors and inaccuracies that others might consider insignificant.

Managing a Compliant People

If you are managing a Type D then they like long-term goals fully negotiated. They like harmony and tend to avoid direct confrontation. They need a detailed brief and explanation of reasons before doing anything. They can often prevaricate and do not like taking risks. They are concerned with quality, and do not want to accept inferior work regardless of timescales so you will need to allow plenty of time for them to do things. You will also need to delegate very specifically. They can be surprisingly ambitious with lofty goals but an innate lack of assertiveness and unwillingness to become involved in confrontational situations can make it difficult for them to achieve their goals.

They are punctual and like punctuality in others. Coupled with a high intellect, these people are attracted to jobs like systems analysts, researchers, medical consultants, scientists.

Their influencing style is based on logic and facts often quoting authorities and rules and regulations. Their weakness can be rigidity and nitpicking.

Relating to a Compliant People

You will need to give them plenty of time to make up their mind but gently direct them. Be straightforward in your approach, stick to the business in hand and build credibility by listing the pros and cons to any suggestions you make. Reassure them that there won’t be any surprises. Be realistic and accurate and provide solid, tangible, practical evidence. They need time to make any decisions.

Recognising a Compliant People

With this personality type you may get lowered eye contact and fidgeting mannerisms. There will be no dominant body language, in fact the body language is much more likely to be submissive. The handshake can be perfunctory and not terribly firm. Compliant individuals can often speak quietly and can be vague. Again, as with our Type C personality the Type D will enjoy complex hobbies requiring patience and detail. There are, of course, many more complexities of personalities than I have given you here but I hope the above goes some way in helping you to understand that we are all different and because we are we need to accept that different approaches work with different people. Being aware of the different personalities, reading the body language and keeping an open mind so that you try and understand where the other person is coming from can all combine to help you relate to other people more effectively, and, hopefully, give you the ability to communicate with them more confidently.

Measured- Third Group of Personality Traits

2009-07-25T16:07:00.003+07:00

The Type C is measured and far more logical and analytical than either our A or our B personality. They are steady, often security minded and don’t like a lot of change. They can be suspicious and sceptical of new ideas and it will take some time to persuade them.

They are consistent, caring and patient. They often make good nurses particularly if their C personality is combined with the people skills of a B Personality. They don’t like taking risks and will only do so if they have weighed up all the pro’s and con’s. They are great listmakers!

Many engineers fall into this category, as they are attracted to the occupation by its analytical, methodical approach. Lawyers, accountants and professional buyers may also fall into this personality type.

Because of their cautious nature Type C’s can have a tendency to procrastinate and over-plan. They are generally warm hearted but when aggressive can be very stubborn and intransient.

Their influencing style is based on logic and facts. Fairness is paramount to a Type C personality.

Managing a Measured Personality People

If you are managing a Type C personality then it is best to set long-term goals with careful and periodic reviews. The Type C needs to be told what you want; they prefer to rely on more assertive people to take the lead.

When introducing change it is best to do it in stages, introducing an element of trial and give them time to adapt. Explain and delegate with detail. Once embarked on a task the C will want to concentrate on it, and doesn’t like interruptions and distractions, or changing the goalposts half way along. They work slowly and thoroughly. For this person to communicate more confidently they need to feel they have your support and encouragement. In informal or antagonistic situations they could clam up.

Relating to a Measured People

In order to communicate more effectively with a Type C personality you should try winning them over with a logical reasoned approach rather than appealing to ideals which would succeed with our Type B or vanity or ego which would succeed with our Type A. Once you have won them over, or got a commitment from them, they are often very loyal and reliable. You need to take time to build relationships with them, giving them time to explore their real feelings.

Your open questions are vital here. These are people who will simply give you a one-word answer if you ask a closed question. They won’t help you out like the Type B who could talk until the cows come home.

You will need to be sincere and show a genuine interest in them. Take time to find areas of common ground. Be honest and open and patiently draw them out in a non-threatening manner. Slow down, move casually and informally. Provide lots of assurances and give clear specific solutions with maximum guarantees. Give them the detail. If you don’t, they will ask for it. You can’t fob them off. Don’t rush them – they don’t like it.

For a Type A this can be very hard to deal with but if you want to communicate more effectively with someone who is a Type C then you must make this effort. Equally if you are a Type C communicating with a Type A then learn to speed up, prepare what you have to away from any meeting and when in the meeting be as direct as you can. I had a good example of this when running one of my courses. The headteacher of a school who was a Type A personality told me that he was having difficulty getting on with his deputy head. The deputy headteacher told me that she was having difficulty getting on with her headteacher. It was apparent to me that she was a Type C personality. She liked detail and he didn’t. I told her that for her next meeting with him she should prepare as thoroughly as she could outside the meeting and that when she went into the meeting she should give the headteacher short sharp answers and only the information he required, leaving out detailed explanations. This she did and reported back to me with the result that, after the meeting her headteacher said, ‘That was the best meeting we’ve had.’ He felt it was a good meeting because she had communicated with him in the style he liked, understood and could respond to.

Whereas our Type B is optimistic and enthusiastic our Type C is pessimistic and cautious. This can cause frustration between the two different personality types but equally the two can complement one another and work and live very well together if they recognize their individual personalities and strengths. Type B can encourage Type C to ‘lighten up’ and take risks and a Type C can reign a Type B back in when he or she goes ‘over the top’! Two Type C’s in a relationship will also work well. It might not be fiery but it could be a long, loyal and comfortable relationship.

Recognising a Measured personality

They are not motivated by status so the designer accessories, big cars etc. will be missing. In addition, there will be no dominant body language; the handshake can be firm or weak. Their dead giveaway though is their facial expression and body language. The Type C will be looking at you rather sceptically. They will sit well back in their chair with their arms folded, not necessarily with hostility, but they will reserve judgment on you and what you are saying until they have weighed you up and decided whether or not they like you.

Their hobbies will be those that require more detail and patience – perhaps fishing, cross stitch, cake decorating.

Do You Posses Social Personality Traits in Yourself?

2009-07-21T20:01:00.003+07:00

Nature of Social Personality Traits People

The Type B (Social) likes people and likes to be liked. They find it much easier than any of the other personality types to mirror and match another person’s body language because they are more attuned to people needs and moods. They do it rather naturally because they want people to like them.

They are adaptable, flexible and participative. They have high energy levels and are articulate, confident and cooperative. They are enthusiastic, embracing and come up with lots of ideas and they are not afraid of change, in fact they thrive on it.

They are usually highly persuasive individuals who manage in a democratic style but find it hard to deal with confrontation. Because of their desire to please they can often change their mind to suit the person or situation, so can appear fickle and manipulative to some people.

Their influencing style is that of the friendly helper showing concern, expressing friendliness and warmth. They try to influence by appealing to others’ emotions. Their optimism is usually a major influencing factor but they may be gullible and impractical.

Managing a Social Personal:

If you are managing a Type B individual then you will need to give them short to medium-term goals and a consistent management approach. They thrive on variety and like lots of things to do and to be involved with people. If they are not working or involved in people then they will become demotivated and unhappy. Continued rejection and disapproval will also demotivate them. They need praise and approval. They find regulations restrictive and like to work in an environment where they are allowed freedom to use their initiative. Because of their high levels of energy and enthusiasm they can sometimes come across as being overbearing. Lack of concentration at times and a tendency to disregard rules means careful management.

Relating to Social Personals:

You need to spend time building solid relationships with this person rather than simply issuing instructions. Leave plenty of time for socialising and take time to socialize at the beginning of an interview.

Appeal to their enthusiasm and their vision of things but be careful if you need to rein them in as you can dampen their enthusiasm and hurt them.

Identifying People with Social Traits:

You may still get the firm handshake but with this person you will have less dominant body language. Status is as important to the Type B as it is to the Type A so you could get the big car and the designer accessories but the essential difference between these two types of personalities is that the Type B will spend more time over the pleasantries, making you feel comfortable. They will not be so direct and forthright as the Type A. They will quickly participate in any meeting, throwing in ideas. They will be friendly, talkative and smile at you. Indeed you may have trouble shutting them up!

They enjoy team working and so their hobbies will often be people and team related, for example, football, netball and socializing.

Know Better The Characteristics of People With Dominance Personality Traits

2009-07-19T20:46:00.004+07:00

Nature of Dominant People:

Dominance personalities have dominance and superiority in their make up. This makes them rather impatient individuals. They are very direct people who ‘speak as they find’ and ‘don’t suffer fools gladly’. They are confident decision makers (although these may not always be the right decisions) but there is no pussy-footing around with these types. They are extremely time conscious and find it hard to relax. They are always doing something and even on holiday, if they take one, will want to be using the time ‘wisely’. They can be rather intolerant of others who are slower than them. They manage or lead in an authoritative and often autocratic style, have a high degree of energy, and like getting things done. They are good at ideas, and at problem solving. They often enjoy going into troubled organizations to turn them around. They also often tend to be entrepreneurs, liking start up situations, being natural risk takers. They quickly get bored with the detail and are starters rather than finishers. When they get bored they will want to move on to a new challenge. Generally speaking they are high achievers and quite driven individuals pushing themselves onwards and upwards. They can take a high degree of stress, more in fact than other types, but there is a danger here in that they might not know when to take the foot off the gas. Because they drive themselves and find it difficult to relax they are candidates for burn-out and are prone to high blood pressure and heart attacks.

Type A personalities (Dominant) do not have a high need to be liked: ‘If you don’t like me then that’s your look out’, can be their response. Or you may hear phrases like, ‘You have to be tough to do this job.’ ‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs’, ‘Getting paid to make tough decisions is what I’m here for’. Their influencing style is that of a tough battler, pressing for results, giving orders, issuing challenges, sometimes threats even. They are enterprising and forceful but can give the impression of being dictatorial and arrogant.

Managing a Dominant personality People:

If you are managing someone who is Type A then ideally you should give them short-term goals, and projects that give them a high degree of recognition and status. Type As thrive on praise – often public, which is why many of them enter public life.

You need to ensure they have the opportunity to develop new skills and interest. Type As will often chase excitement and be thrill seeking. They don’t like to depend on others and are in fact highly independent.

They are motivated by status, often favouring the status symbols, big and powerful cars, nice house, designer clothes. But status positions will also motivate them. They are competitive but not in a team way, competing against themselves and others to be better, faster, more successful.

They like to be in control and to feel that they have control over their lives.

Relating to a Type A personality:

Two Type A’s living together or married will find it very difficult. Because relationships are about compromise, two equally dominant individuals will find it hard to give in to the other. This will also happen within an organization if you have two Type A’s vying for power.

When you talk to someone who is a Type A try and speed up the way you talk, be direct, get straight to the point and ensure that your handshake is firm and your body language positive. Don’t go into too much detail. For example, don’t go through a proposal step by step or they will quickly get bored and irritated and cut you short. Be clear, specific, brief and to the point. Use time efficiently and stick to the matter in hand.

Recognizing the People with Dominant Personality

From the description above you may already have a good idea of how to recognize a Dominant Type A personality. They will use dominant body language for a start

Their speech will be direct. They will not take time for social chitchat but will want to get right to the point. They will make flat assertions like ‘That’s rubbish.’ They will also use a lot of ‘I’ statements and be ready to give you the benefit of their wisdom and provide advice on what you should do. Put a Type A in a group and you will quickly see them take control and lead that group.

If you were to ask them what sport they liked, or what their hobbies are, you will find that they enjoy single competitive sports rather than team games. Often Type A enjoys squash, golf, athletics and sometimes horseriding as handling an animal gives them a sense of control. They are unlikely to enjoy detailed pastimes.

The Best Way to Have Success in Communication- Getting on Others Wavelength

2009-07-19T01:01:00.003+07:00

The more you have in common with someone the easier it is to get along with them.

We are more easily influenced by those we like hence the saying, ‘people buy people’, as any salesperson worth his salt should know. If we like someone we are more inclined to buy from them and to cooperate with them.

Conflict usually results from differences or perceived differences between people. So enhancing this likeability factor can reduce conflict. The more we blend with the other person the less conflict there will be.

Blending with the other person can maximize similarities and minimize conflict.

We can do this by mirroring their body language, not mimicking it but gently matching it. We do this naturally when we are with friends. Just watch people in a café, restaurant or at a bar together and see how similar their body language is, or if they are not hitting it off how distanced and different it becomes.

So when you find yourself in conflict with someone, or disliking them, stop and ask yourself why this person is behaving in the manner they are? Even if you don’t fully understand their reasons, or find them difficult to understand, this will at least prevent you from getting overemotional. Also remember that you can’t change another person so it is no good thinking, ‘I wish they would be more reasonable or compassionate, or understanding, or less hostile.’ Wishing won’t make it so.

Personality traits

So how can we get on someone’s wavelength, even those whom we find it difficult to relate to? I always say to people, ‘You think you‘re normal, but what is normal?’ Normal is different to each and every one of us. We see the world through our own eyes, we think everyone should behave, act and be like us. Well of course they don’t and they’re not like us. We are all different. We all have different personalities and understanding this and recognising this can help us to adapt our approach to another person and get on their wavelength.

In 1926 William Marston came up with a model of Personality Types that is still used today. While people are highly complex and certainly more complex than the descriptions I am going to give you, this model will, I hope, help you to see yourself and others in a different light and enable you to change tactics to communicate more effectively.

We inherit personality traits from our parents, grandparents, great grandparents … Of course this is influenced by other factors like upbringing, environment, education and levels of intellect and maturity but to make things more simple here we will look at the four basic types of personalities. Although we may contain a mixture of these traits some will be stronger than others within us. This dictates how we communicate and behave. See if you can recognize ourself from the descriptions below. Then think about how you might need to change your approach towards another person in order to influence and persuade them, and to manage them.

Now, namely the personality traits are:

Dominance
Social
Measured
Compliant

In the following blogs i will discuss about these personality traits in detail. Happy reading.

Some Tips To Improve Listening Skill

2009-07-16T11:56:00.002+07:00

In below you will find some tips that help you to improve your listening skill further:

start listening with the first word and then listen intently
stop what you are doing and listen – don’t be tempted to do two things at once
turn off all negative thoughts you have about the speaker
think at the speed they’re talking, don’t jump ahead
do not interrupt
find an area of interest
judge the content and not the delivery
suspend your judgement and keep an open mind
actively listen for ideas
resist distractions if you possibly can
make listening noises, particularly if you are on the telephone, for example ‘uh, uh, yes’, and if face to face ensure that your body language looks as if it is listening, give good eye contact.

Exercises for improving your listening skills

Take five minutes a day to sit quietly somewhere, close your eyes and listen to all the sounds around you. Become conscious of them. How many different sounds can you hear? In addition to improving your listening skills this can also be relaxing.
When you are having a conversation with another person, receive what he or she has said before rushing in to make your contribution. If you feel you want to interrupt, think about pausing and breathing before you start to talk. A pause before you speak can also add significance.
Listen to the radio as much as possible - talk programmes, not music. What information did you receive? Can you summarize it?

This is all for you now. Try to practice it at home and then check your improvement.

The Barriers of Effective Listening

2009-07-14T14:40:00.001+07:00

There are many things that prevent us from listening, not least of which is laziness. We simply can’t be bothered. Or maybe we’ve never been trained to listen. Our upbringing is such that no one has listened to us so why should we listen to them? No one has taught us how to listen.

The first thing we need to do is to open our minds and have the desire to learn this skill – after all it is good manners to listen. But what prevents us?

different perspectives: we see things differently to the person talking and we disagree with them
strong emotions: we have very strong feelings on the subject which prevents us from listening; we may also have prejudices
physical tiredness or discomfort: we may be tired or hungry; we may be hot or cold; we may be under stress and feel anxious or unwell
desire to talk: we love to talk most of the time, to be the centre of attention; we love the sound of our own voice and think that only our opinions really count
distractions and mind wandering: we may be distracted because of a noise; or we may be thinking ahead of all the things that need to be done; we may be worried about someone or something
reactions to the speaker: we may dislike the person who is talking to us; we may find them boring or opinionated

Listening- The Critical Part of Effective Communication

2009-07-14T14:32:00.002+07:00

Listening, really listening, is the hardest thing to do and the highest form of courtesy!

Listening is an essential part of being a good communicator but it is a skill that is perilously close to becoming extinct. As more and more of our communication becomes visual and text driven, i.e. Internet, text and computers we are forgetting how to listen. Listening involves both:

the ability to understand what is being said, and
the ability to organize and analyze the messages in order to retain them for subsequent use.

There are two types of listening:

Casual listening
Critical listening

Casual listening

Casual listening is what we tend to do most of the time. We are only half listening, we retain bits of the conversation, we discard other parts of it. As a result you often get the following scenario between two people: ‘

Don’t forget we’re going out tonight.’

‘Are we? You didn’t mention it.’

‘Yes, I did, I told you two days ago. You weren’t listening.’

We often switch off, particularly when we are listening to someone we know well.

Critical listening

Critical listening requires concentration and stamina. Here you are making a real effort to understand the other person’s point of view. You are listening to them, retaining what they say, storing it away and then retrieving some of it later when you need it. These skills are essential in a sales situation and rather important too in an interview. If you have listened, and I mean really listened, it is highly likely that you will come away with a headache. You have exercised your mental powers to extremes! In both the above situations you are not only trying to concentrate on what the other person is saying but you are also reading their body language, thinking about your own body language and formulating your response to their questions, plus thinking of your own questions to ask. Is it no wonder you end up with a headache?

Tone, Pitch and Pace- 3 Important Aspects of Speaking

2009-07-12T22:20:00.002+07:00

How we sound when we speak does influence others and I am not just talking about accents (although those do give out an impression) but rather the tone of your voice, its clarity, its passion and enthusiasm, its variances.

Think about how you talk to someone who is ill – gently and with compassion and understanding. Now think about how you greet an old friend across the street, or prevent a child from running out into the traffic. How do you sound when you scold someone or are short-tempered?

If you talk in a monotone you will sound dull and uninteresting; you will also lack credibility. The more credible you are the more persuasive you will be. No one is going to do anything if you ask them in a boring, quiet monotone!

So try varying the pitch and pace of your voice. Try enthusing it with some passion. A good way of practising this is to read aloud to young children because then you have to put in all the different voices or they very quickly get bored.

If you talk in a high pitched voice (mainly women) so that you sound like a little girl, you will also be less credible. Try slowing your voice down, don’t talk so quickly, take a few more breaths in between talking and lower your voice.

As a general rule speak with clarity, talk in a strong, steady voice neither shouting nor mumbling. If talking to a group of people then let your eye contact reach the person the furthest distance from you to ensure that you project it.

To build rapport with someone match the pace and tone of their voice. I don’t mean mimic them but if they speak softly and slowly then lower your voice and slow it down. If the other person speaks quickly, try and quicken up.

No matter what your message, present it in terms that are of interest to others. Think of who you are communicating with and then decide how you should pitch your voice and what sort of words to use. We are all aware of the person/people who talk jargon either to confuse us or to make us feel small, so make sure you don’t fall into this trap and if you are on the receiving end of this then don’t apologize, to them, for example: ‘I’m sorry, I don’t understand you’. It is their fault they are not explaining to you correctly so simply say, ‘What do you mean?’ pleasantly and not aggressively.

Believe you are worth listening to and convey that belief to others. The more passionate you are about your subject the more powerful your communication but beware you don’t get too carried away and forget your listener, you could be too enthusiastic and alienate them. Which brings us to our next chapter, listening.

Don’t be too apologetic- It Will Not Good For You As Speaker

2009-07-12T22:12:00.004+07:00

When you need to state something keep it brief and to the point: don’t go all around the houses to make your point or over-apologize. For example try saying, ‘I’d like to get started this week’, or ‘Would you like to come over for a coffee?’ Not, ‘I wonder if you’d mind terribly if we er sort of started this next week?’ Or ‘I was wondering if you’ve got nothing else to do, that is if you’re not too busy, if you’d er like to come over for a coffee?’

Be careful too of over justifying yourself. For example, ‘I wouldn’t normally mention this but I’m without the car tomorrow, my husband’s had to take it to work because he’s got to go to London on business and the trains are on strike and I was wondering if you’d mind giving me a lift into work?’

Instead simply say, ‘Could you give me a lift into work tomorrow Alan as I’m without the car?’

If you need to apologize don’t do it profusely, simply say, ‘I’m sorry’. Or if you wish to sound more assertive, then ‘I apologize’.

Practise using ‘I’ statements, which are assertive, for example:

I feel
think
my idea is
I prefer
I feel
as I see it
my view is

And be careful of using phrases that put you down, for example:

‘I’m hopeless at this.’
‘You know me, I seem to be useless at ...’
‘I can’t seem to ...’

People will believe it and so will you because your brain is telling you that you can’t do something so you won’t be able to!

Powerful and persuasive words are often those with many vowels in them, for example need and please.

‘We need to do something’ implies urgency and people respond to this rather than ‘We could do something’, which implies a question mark in its structure. We must do something sounds more like a command possibly prompting the response ‘Do I have to?’ or ‘Must I?’ While, ‘You must appreciate’ can prompt the response,‘Why must I?’

Nervous Body Language: That Kills You As Speaker

2009-04-17T15:12:00.005+06:00

One hand gripping the other behind the back is an attempt at confidence but there is frustration, lack of self-control and the person is trying hard to seem relaxed – look for how hard the hand is gripping the wrist. If the hands are held quite high behind the back this often indicates timidity. The hand moved even further up the arm indicates tension and nervousness.

Fingers in the mouth can also show people under pressure.

Touching the face or stroking the back of the neck can signal embarrassment and rubbing, stroking or touching the nose means the person is not sure and possibly has negative thoughts; if poor or no eye contact accompanies this then he could be lying.

Touching the ear may indicate that the person doesn’t like what he/she is hearing. Watch for this in meetings and sales situations and examine what it is you have just said to get this response.

Touching the eyes could indicate that the person doesn’t like what he or she is seeing. Watch for a shifting in body language along with this and consider the situation and the dialogue.

Foot lock – this tends to be a woman-only gesture where one foot is wrapped round the other leg. It is construed as a defensive attitude.

Beware of Mannerisms: They Disclose Yourself To Others

2009-04-17T14:02:00.009+06:00

We all form certain mannerisms like pulling the eyebrow, rubbing the nose etc. We need to be aware of these because they may be giving out the wrong signals. The best way to know if you are doing this is to watch a video recording of yourself, or get a friend to tell you each time you make a nervous mannerism.

A Senior Communication Expert told me a story, some years ago he was working with a young lady who always put her hand over her mouth when she spoke. This gave out the impression that she was lying or was uncertain of herself. He asked her why she did this and she told him that when she was younger she suffered from terrible acne, which caused her considerable distress and embarrassment so she had got into the habit of covering her face when she spoke so people couldn’t see her skin. The habit had stuck long after her skin had cleared.

Here are some further body language signals that you might like to be aware of.

Sitting down with the hands and arms clasped behind the head

This is a superior gesture or exhibits extreme confidence sometimes bordering on arrogance. It can also be accompanied by the chin held high.

Leg lock – when one ankle is crossed over the knee of the other

This denotes a dominant and competitive personality. The higher the leg is crossed over the more dominant and competitive. If the person is also holding his leg this means he is stubborn and unmoving, he’s made his mind up.

If the thumbs are on display in an upward position this shows that they are in charge! This is often a familiar stance of a barrister in a courtroom. Some speakers also adopt this posture, which can be rather intimidating towards the audience.

Another variation of this is when the thumbs protrude from the pockets, which displays dominance.

Thumbs wrapped round belt: If a man is standing with his legs firmly planted apart, thumbs in belt pose, with fingers pointing down towards crotch area this is an aggressive posture when adopted facing another man. If, however, a man adopts this posture towards a woman then it can be interpreted as a sexual gesture.

In recent years some women have also adopted this posture, in this instance it exhibits an attitude of dominance and sexual control over men.

Hands on hips: This is an aggressive and threatening gesture when used by a man or when used by a woman to another woman. If a woman adopts this posture towards a man then it can be interpreted as a sexual stance.

Body Language – Posture, Gestures and Stance

2009-04-17T13:56:00.003+06:00

When reading body language you need to look at the whole person and the complete picture. Just because someone has his arms crossed it does not necessarily mean he is hostile. If his arms and legs are crossed and he is perhaps scowling or keeping his distance by sitting back in his seat then the complete picture tells you this person is aggressive or hostile and is not going to cooperate.

I recall a course I was running. A woman was sitting at the table with her head in her hands. Did she have a headache, or a hangover perhaps? Or was she hostile? From her body language and the situation I deemed that she was on the course under sufferance and that by withdrawing her eye contact, and her complete facial expressions, she was saying ‘I don’t want any part in this’; ‘I am not going to cooperate’.

So I started by asking her a question, which meant that she had to look up and give me eye contact. I could then begin to engage with her. After several more exchanges, and as the course progressed, she confessed that she hadn’t wanted to come on the course but that she was now enjoying it. A victory indeed!

Your Body Language During Attending Meeting

2009-04-17T12:34:00.004+06:00

At some time we all attend meetings, whether this is work related, more of a social nature or a combination of both. For example you may be on the Parent Teacher Association of a school, or on a charitable fundraising committee. Making an impression at meetings could help you to be heard in that meeting, or you may wish to read others’ body language to find out what they really think about your views.

First, where to sit

In meetings if you want recognition always sit within good eye contact of the decision maker (who may not always be the chair). This can often be at the opposite end of the table. To lessen confrontation sit next to the challenger. It is far more difficult to attack from the side. Avoid sitting directly opposite the person.

If you are a junior or new participant wait to be told where to sit.

If you wish to avoid attention sit in a blind spot for the chair where it is physically difficult for them to see you and wear your most neutral outfit with no special accessories.

Another point about seating which I have often observed is that when both men and women enter a room together, the men will all sit together and the women will sit together. Only if someone is late and there are no empty spaces will the genders divide. In schools and sometimes at work it is a good idea to mix the genders to encourage more cross-gender communication and cooperation. For example, ask all the girls to come into the class first and tell them they must not sit together, then invite the boys to fill up the empty places.

Other ways to enhance your power at meetings

Make sure you find out the objectives of the chairperson if you can. Don’t be afraid to contribute your points but if you’re out to win or score points only important to you, you may become resented. Never expect to succeed in a meeting on a wing and a prayer. Preparation is essential. Whenever possible, without overdoing it, always try to state your views, or ask an intelligent question.

Resist the temptation to finish other people’s sentences or criticize them at a personal level.

Even if you are feeling emotional about an objection try not to show it. Your detractors will leap on you like a wounded animal if they sense weakness.

Be positive but if you disagree or have reservations say so and have reasons why you disagree to back this up. Show that you can think a thing through logically and laterally.

If you wish to speak hold up your hand and look at the chairperson. Only interrupt if the meeting has more of a casual flavor about it. Women interrupt conversations far more than men, in fact men find this rather irritating. They often wait until someone has finished speaking before having their say, unless the speaker is a waffler or droning on too much and the interrupter is an impatient man.

As chairperson if you wish to shut someone up without verbally telling them then one of the most effective ways is to look away as they are speaking to you, alternatively you can glance at your watch. You can sit forward and hold your hand up; this is the physical STOP sign. You can also accompany this by saying, ‘Hold on’, or ‘Excuse me’.

Never adopt the role of the Disruptor or the Nonentity

The Disruptor is the person who arrives late or dashes in and out to take phone calls. This is most irritating and implies superiority; either that or he can’t organize or prioritize his time effectively!

The Nonentity remains part of the furniture. If you don’t or can’t participate then you probably won’t be invited again. More involvement brings more responsibility but it also means more visibility and hence advancement.

Eye contact

During business meetings you should keep your eye contact on the eyes and forehead of the person who is speaking.

You can use direct eye contact to make a point both in a personal relationship setting and in a business setting, for example when you have a serious point to make or when reprimanding a child.

Do look interested during the meeting, lean your body forward, give good eye contact to the speaker and the chair, make occasional notes.

Don’t look bored, doodle, sigh, sniff and shift about unless you really want to give the wrong impression and not be asked back!

Ways To Keep Your Audience's Attention In Your Speech

2009-04-10T22:06:00.003+06:00

In this blog, I am going to suggest four tactics for raising arousal and motivation here, but most of this blog is about how the speaker’s performance can be tailored to increase the interest of the audience. And interest can be equated to arousal and motivation. These four tactics are sharing interest in the listeners’ problems, giving a sense of security to the listeners, recognizing that enforced silence represses levels of arousal, and finally communicating your own enthusiasm.

Firstly, then, share your listeners’ interests. You will arouse interest and motivation if you make it clear from the outset that you have considered their needs. Thus a researcher might start a paper by mentioning the way his work provides promising analogies to the audience’s own work; a manager may open by mentioning the common need for the company’s success; a lecturer might mention examinations in his introduction. It is possible to effect the arousal of listeners by talking about things which closely concern them. In this way the speaker can build on the motivation they already possess. One way of doing this is to present trailers, in the cinema tradition, for the points which are to come, brief extracts of the information and ideas you are going to present. The best way is to spend time showing how your ideas relate to the problems, and interests, of your listeners, before launching into your own interests.

The second tactic which affects the acquisition of information, is the degree of security the audience feel in their speaker. All educationalists know that in learning, emotional stability is almost as important as intelligence. A calm and emotionally secure person will think more clearly than a highly intelligent, but emotionally disturbed person. The speaker should consciously try to calm and reassure the audience. Provide a secure atmosphere, and clearly defined physical constraints, such as the use of space, and good timing, to enable them to concentrate. If the audience feel at ease, and if they feel confident that the speaker knows his job as well as his subject, and will stop on time, they will find it refreshingly easy to listen to the presentation. If they are cramped, suspicious, anxious, and unsettled, they will day-dream more, and listen less. Providing the right emotional conditions is an important factor in effective speaking.

The third tactic which we should consider is that sitting still and listening affects the natural levels of arousal. One of the disadvantages of the spoken presentation is that it stifles two major needs of the audience, those for self-expression, and those for social interaction. They are expected to be silent and listen, and their ability to interact with others is savagely curtailed. The audience’s natural arousal is reduced by these repressions, and extra stimulation must be provided to compensate for this. Careful consideration of the way the audience’s receptivity to the message is affected by natural psychological mechanisms will be rewarded by an attentive audience.

Finally, the forth tactic, there is much evidence that the speaker’s own communicated attitude and psychological state will affect the audience’s reception of his message.

Mastin instructed lecturers to teach one topic with an ‘indifferent’ attitude and another the following week ‘enthusiastically’…Nineteen out of twenty classes did better on multiple-choice tests after the ‘enthusiastic’ lesson…In a similar experiment Coats and Smidchens found that 36% of the variance in tests of audience recall were attributable to the dynamism’ of the speaker.

The conclusion from this research is that an enthusiastic and energetic presentation is more effective than a dull and soporific one. If you are enthusiastic yourself about the subject, it will be reflected in the audience’s echoing enthusiasm.

There are a variety of ways, then, in which we can vary the levels of receptivity in an audience. Whereas no one technique for coping with this is a panacea, a good understanding of the natural operation of the listener’s mind is an enormous help in adjusting the presentation so it is as effective as possible. Of course, none of this is possible if you have not thought about the audience. Nor is it possible unless you are sensitive to the way your presentation is affecting the audience. Before dealing with feedback from the audience, though, let me explore one more component of the delicate equation between speaker and audience, the way the speaker feels about his listeners, and the way they are likely to feel about him.

Control Your Audience's Attention To Become Successful Speaker

2009-04-09T22:20:00.004+06:00

There are a number of factors which affect attention, and can be used to control the audience's attention. These are variety, the length of time concentration is needed, the time of day, and the amount of arousal and motivation the speaker can communicate to the listeners. Motivation, in turn, is affected by the audience’s sense of security, how much their natural responses are repressed, and how much enthusiasm the speaker shows. Let me deal with each of these factors in turn, to give you some ideas about how to control the audience’s attention.

The first important fact to grasp is that attention is very little under voluntary control. The audience cannot make themselves listen—they must be interested. Psychologists tell us that attention is controlled by a deep part of the brain which operates subconsciously. Attention is automatically switched-off by repetitive stimuli:

If, for example, you are in a room with a clock that is ticking quietly you will quickly habituate to the sound so that after a short while you will no longer hear it. But the sound is still being continually monitored by the brain, and if the clock were suddenly to stop, or to change speed or volume, you would immediately notice it.

A good speaker knows this, and arouses questing interest in the audience by providing a continual variety of stimuli. He or she keeps them alert by varying the input of ideas, and gives them continual change in the pauses, speed and volume of his or her voice. A speaker should not blame the audience if they nod-off, or their attention wanders. They are responding to simple physiological mechanisms; the fault is the speaker’s for not being aware of these facts, and not negotiating around them in the techniques of his presentation.

The second factor which affects the audience’s attention is the sheer length of time they are expected to listen. In the first few minutes of a presentation everyone is listening. As time goes on the pressures from other thoughts gradually increases. It depends to some extent on the level of training and discipline in the listeners, but the speaker should always be aware of the way the demands he is making on the audience increase with time. One piece of research by MacManaway reported that 84% of students said that twenty to thirty minutes was the maximum length of time they could listen to a lecture without wandering. This means that the speaker should provide pauses, and increasing variety, as the talk gets longer. The vital points are best made early in the talk, when you can count on more attention. Gradually working up to the important point through an hour long maze of details, may gain nothing. By the time you are ready to triumphantly announce your answer, most of the audience will be thinking of something else.

If we are to be effective communicators we should understand, not blame, the audience’s natural characteristics. There is no point in battling valiantly against the natural effect of growing inattention. The solution is to provide breaks, variety and interesting changes throughout the talk. Otherwise the discomfort of sitting still will break through as interest flags; this is signaled by a rash of scratching and shifting about in the chairs.

Very high levels of discomfort are produced by forced attention to uninteresting material. Indeed, some members of the audience may develop gestures of extreme misery, such as dropping their heads into their hands, and even groaning quietly to themselves! A considerate speaker (considerate, that is, for his own success as well as for the audience’s comfort) will alleviate the misery. Variety, both in the material and in the presentation, is the best method. But variety can only be used at the right time if the speaker first learns to be sensitive to the audience’s mood. The sheer length of time listeners must pay attention is an important factor in the equation that measures their ability to listen.

The third factor which affects attention is the simple matter of the time of day when the talk is being presented. The speaker must think in advance about the effect of time of day on his audience. It is not just the personal experience of the lazy, but a psychological fact that people’s intellectual sharpness varies during the day, in response to internal biological rhythms. Both body temperature and hormone levels change in a rhythmic cycle. Most people are at their best in the morning, but some people do not reach their peak until midday, or even during the afternoon. Most people have a low in body temperature and hormone level during the mid afternoon, and are therefore likely to be sleepy, and find it difficult to concentrate.

The day of the week will also affect how easy it is for the audience to concentrate. Almost everyone is better on a Tuesday than on a Friday. Even the disciplined hard workers are feeling the effects of tiredness by the end of the week. These effects are very real, and should not be dismissed as softness. Research showed that a prolonged period of monotony interferes “with the ability to make decisions at a fairly high cortical level.” Monotony interferes just as badly with the ability to listen intelligently. The speaker must provide greater variety and stimulation for an afternoon presentation, or one at the fag-end of the week. On Tuesday morning he can afford to rely on his audience’s concentration more.

The fourth of the factors which affect attention is the psychological state of the audience while they are listening. The state of mind of listeners can be separated into their arousal, and their motivation. The speaker must be continually aware of the twin factors. Arousal is a technical term in psychology for the level of alertness, the biochemical tone and readiness. It affects the whole performance of the brain, increasing the transmission rates in the neurons, making the person more alert and more receptive. Motivation helps arousal. A highly motivated person is more prepared to understand and remember.

Levels of arousal have been compared to an inverted ‘U’ curve, where performance levels rise as arousal increases, but dissolve in chaos as arousal gets too high. Most people spend most of their life in the restricted performance, low arousal part of the curve. Speakers spend much of their time in the hyper-active, anxious and over-aroused part of the curve. The art is to get both speaker and audience on the peak performance part of the curve. For listeners, it usually means awaking their interest, arousing them, by energy and variety.

Your Audience's Receptivity Level: Important Aspect For Successful Speaker

2009-04-09T21:55:00.004+06:00

Half the inexperienced speakers in the world think that the audience will sit listening, uncritically absorbing every word they say, like a huge sponge. The other half have never even thought about it. But does an audience uniformly listen to everything the speaker says? Do they really hear every word? The sad fact is that they do not. Attention is not the simple, conscious activity we would like to think. Everyone’s mind wanders constantly.

The novels of James Joyce and Virginia Woolf contain a surprisingly accurate portrayal of the inner mental life of ordinary people. Bloom, or Mrs. Dalloway, do not pay attention to one thing at once; their minds are a stream of ever varying ideas and impressions, where one thing after another floats to the surface with little apparent connection. While your audience’s minds may not be as interesting as Joyce or Woolf’s heroes and heroines, they will certainly be no less unreliable! Attention is simply not the steady beacon we would like to think. An audience is more like the lines of yellow warning lights on a motorway; their attention flashes on and off randomly at unpredictable intervals. Imagine unsynchronized flashes of light mingling with a background of darkness, as attention switches on and off. This may sound a harsh image, but it contains a large truth. Speakers cannot assume that everyone is listening all the time.

One of the reasons why people do not listen to every word that a speaker utters is that their minds can go much faster than the speaker’s voice. It is an obvious point, and it is confirmed by the fact that everyone’s reading speed is much higher than their talking speed. While sitting listening to a presentation, the audience’s minds have spare capacity, which they will fill by watching what else is going on, and observing the non-verbal components of the speaker’s message. They can also use this spare capacity either to pursue private thoughts, or to ponder the remoter implications of the topic. They are certainly not sitting with vacant minds, waiting for the next word.

This spare capacity is prey to being pre-empted by day-dreaming. And once a mini day dream has started, it will be more interesting that the next few words of the talk. The listener will pursue his day dream for a few seconds, before he switches his attention back to the speaker. There has been some interesting research done on attention, and how it is controlled. American neurologists argue that concentration is the result of suppressing countless nerve events which spontaneously trigger trains of thought all over the brain. Untrained mental activity is very largely random.

Training is a process of reducing (not increasing) the brain’s activity, clearing the mind so that a single chain of thought can be sustained. The longer this clearing process continues, the more the pressure builds up from other concerns wanting conscious attention. The successful speaker will recognize that this pressure will break through continually, whatever he or she does. The audience will indulge, involuntarily, in ‘micro-sleeps’ which are momentary rests, gaps in attention, when their minds plunge into a sort of dreamy semi-consciousness, before emerging refreshed to pay renewed attention. We should not blame the audience for their fickle behaviour and paucity of interest. Rather, we should be realistic, and try to be aware of who is listening and who is not.

The listeners, then, are not just passive vessels, sitting with ever open minds. They are, like everybody, full of their own concerns and interests, and prone to drift off for fantasies, day dreams, or private thoughts. Some speakers regard the idiosyncracies of the human receiver as a nuisance. George Miller remarks:

I have the impression that some communication theorists regard the human link in communication systems in much the same way as they regard random noise. Both are unfortunate disturbances in an otherwise well-behaved system and both should be reduced until they do as little harm as possible.

But such an attitude is clearly nonsense. It is not willfulness on the part of the audience which makes them imperfect receivers. It is the operation of a natural mechanism. The speaker’s job is to recognize, and plan for this fact. You cannot change it.

Prepare Before Speaking Infront Of Any Group

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I have already suggested that an audience is a very different thing from a collection of individuals—it is a group, and as a speaker, your task is to manage this group, and present your material in a way which will help them. So the more knowledge of group behavior a speaker has, the better he or she can do their job. I do not propose to write a textbook of group dynamics; there are already plenty of good ones. In any case, the basics are simple enough. But a few pages about groups is a useful preparation for speaking. Thinking about group psychology will help you be more aware of group dynamics, more sensitive to feedback from the group in front of you, and more able to make effective preparations to speak. There is a great deal of research on group behaviour. Even in 1968 a writer noted that there were well over 2,000 different research studies on the topic. Knowledge about groups is now extensive. In many cases it reflects what instinct tells us, but not always, and conscious awareness of group behaviour can only help the speaker.

The first fact about groups we must remember is that they are composed of individuals. As speakers, we too easily imagine that the sea of faces in front of us belong to undifferentiated clones. Stereotyping is used by speakers to misjudge audiences, almost as much as audiences use it to misjudge speakers. Speakers tend to think that an audience from company ‘X’ will be all whizz kids, or an audience from company ‘Y’ will be old and cautious. And this enables the speaker to miss the fact that there may, or may not, be some of both these types of people, in each audience.

The mere fact that the audience are all sitting down, facing one way, tends to deprive them of individuality in the eyes of the speaker. This is a curious mistake, since when we are in the reverse position, sitting listening to someone else talking, we feel our individual identity; our own reactions contrast with the group’s. Yet when we are speaking ourselves, we tend to think of the audience as some homogeneous, and powerfully distinctive, object. We think of them as having an overpowering common identity. I suppose it is because we feel so conspicuous as the speaker, that we tend to see the audience as about as undifferentiated as a wall. Each brick may be different, but the total effect is massive. Of course, the truth is rather different, for each person in a group is an individual. They all have their own standards and motives, and many also belong to many other different groups.

The first lesson to be learned about groups, then, is that they are collections of heterogeneous individuals. Indeed, far from being repressed, individual roles and individual differences are often enhanced by the crowd effect, the stronger personalities becoming more assertive in response to group pressure. By considering the role of individuals, rather than of the group as a whole, you will be able to recognize an audience’s diverse needs. No talk is likely to satisfy everyone in the group, and an outsider will understand if the talk is angled towards the majority of the group. But it is fatal to talk solely to one sector, and appear ignorant of the needs of the rest of the audience. When analyzing the audience, assess the variety of different interests it represents, and try to devise a strategy which will speak to all of them.

One good technique is to alternate different kinds of approach, so that no one group has time to lose interest. Thus, for example, an audience including technical, and lay people, can be dealt with by alternating complex technical facts, with a few sentences of simple explanation. A mixed audience of marketing managers, and personnel managers will all enjoy a presentation which alternates between the marketing prospects of each topic, and the way it will affect production. People are surprisingly tolerant, and will listen to several minutes of information that they don’t understand, and which doesn’t concern them, as long as they know that the talk will come back to their own interests. By providing a mixture, a speaker can cater for a wide range of interests in his audience. But of course he can’t use this technique, or any other technique, if he hasn’t bothered to work out who his audience is, and what their interests are.

While considering the audience’s individuality, it is important to consider their relationships to each other, as well as their relationships to you. There may be both administrators, and researchers in the audience. Their ages may be both younger and older than yours. They may be more hostile to the departmental manager, sitting silently in the front row, than to you. There is nothing sinister in acquiring this sort of knowledge and skill in your understanding of groups. It does not represent ‘some dark power that enables them to manipulate people more easily.’ Knowledge about groups is a wise part of the effective speaker’s armory. It can be used to avoid making obvious mistakes, antagonizing people, and failing to explain the information. It can smooth an interaction, and help to make the talk a more satisfactory experience for every member of the audience.

Knowledge about groups, then, is also knowledge about individuals. You should learn to identify the assertive (and the ‘invisible’) members of a group. Talk to the quiet and self-effacing ones more than to the alert, responsive and pushy ones. Remember that the status of an individual influences a group’s norms powerfully. If there is a very senior manager, a highly respected scientist, a powerful union leader, or an ambitious local politician in the audience, the rest of the group will be aware of him or her. They will also modify their behavior so they seem typical of the kind of group he expects. Your role as speaker is to be aware of the restraining influence of high status members. The aim must be to counter the subconscious tension caused by the presence of the powerful person, and to help the group to relax. You can do this best by treating the special person as neutrally as possible. Don’t show him or her special attention, but equally don’t pointedly ignore them. Try to show by your distribution of attention that you regard the person as a normal member of the group, for the duration of the talk. By treating a powerful person without embarrassment and without pointed attentiveness you will help the whole group to feel at ease, and listen to the presentation.

Find the leader

You should try to identify the devious members of the group, and be aware who is functioning as group leader (he or she may be the boss, the manager, or simply the funniest, or most loud mouthed person present). It is worth noting that there will not necessarily be only one dominant figure in the group. Sociologists discovered, when they started studying groups, that there were usually ‘two leadership functions: the task specialist and the socio-emotional leader.’ There may be one member of the group who is the acknowledged expert, whose approval or irritation at what you say will be echoed by the whole group. A separate person may be the social leader, and if he or she laughs the whole group will laugh. Of course, you must not pander to these leaders; but they are useful indicators of the group’s reactions to the presentation. It is usually easy to identify the people who fill these roles. They are often the more attentive members of the audience, apparently taking their function as group leader responsibly. Other members of the group can often be seen glancing at them. The leaders, on the other hand, will rarely look at other members of the group.

Be aware, too, of the challengers for the leadership, who may disrupt the presentation by fighting their own battles for attention, and trying to score group approval. There will also be scapegoats, whom the group may want to assist you in discomforting. Be careful. The group will not necessarily admire you for pandering to their own prejudices. You will also need to learn to pinpoint both the narks and the nodders, and to recognize the tactics of opposition. Notice that some members of the group will be visibly secure in the situation (relaxed posture, crossed legs, and forward positions in the room). Others will be visibly insecure (tense posture, face partially covered by hands, and back-to-the-wall seating position). Try to encourage security, since it will aid the audience’s concentration. Try to unite the group, by acting on the individuals in the group to even out their differences. It is much easier to talk to a homogeneous group, and you are more likely to be able to galvanize their interest and enthusiasm.

Another factor is the way in which in larger groups, size brings pressures to bear on the individuals in the audience as well as on the speaker. The effect of size is to make individual listeners more nervous about speaking up, during question or discussion times. But ‘unhappily it is not always the right people who are silenced…the weight of the group may act like an ox sitting on the wrong tongues. The bore, alas, is seldom unnerved; that, indeed, is why he is a bore.’ The speaker’s role in such a large group is to function like a chairperson, evening out the pressures. He or she can do this, even during a presentation where the audience is silent. He can facilitate attention from the inattentive, and discourage the disruptor and bores.

The best way to do this is to look at the inattentive, smile, in passing, at the apparently reticent and withdrawn, and pay little attention to those who are nervous, or too highly charged. The enthusiastic nodder should receive only a fleeting glance, but your gaze should repeatedly stop at the bored or withdrawn person. The speaker has to perform a ‘delicate balancing act’. He or she must avoid outraging the group leaders, and the members of high status. But he must also make sure that the less conspicuous group members feel that they are important, and that their interest and attention is valued. The length of dwell of carefully distributed eye-contact is the main skill a speaker employs to unite and balance his group.

The Audience Size Influence Your Speaking

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Next, think about how large the audience will be; try to write down a rough estimate of the numbers. There is a scale of sizes (and types) of audience, from a little group of three or four in a small office, through a seminar of twelve to fifteen in a meeting room, to an audience of forty or fifty (or even hundreds) in a large hall. The formality of the presentation will, of course, vary with the size. It is useless to have a largely written script, full of formal language, for the group of two or three in an office. An informal summary, followed by a discussion will be best for them. Equally, a heart-to-heart chat, with little structure and invitations for questions very early on, will fail in a lecture theater filled with two hundred experts. One interesting result from sociological research shows that as ‘group size increases, member satisfaction decreases.’ Speakers should, therefore, be aware of the effect of group size on the audience’s satisfaction, as well as on the speaker’s nerves. Both the ideas, and the voice which accompanies them, have to be bolder and more forceful in a large group.

Think next about the audience’s interest in the talk. It will depend on factors such as their age, their status, and their background, as well as their reasons for being there. Were they compelled to attend? What do they expect to gain from the presentation? Most audiences will have various layers of interest. They may have a primary interest in the subject of your talk, but they will also have a secondary interest in other matters, such as the group you work for, and they may have a passing interest in other areas which you talk about. You will also need to know whether they have power to do things as a result of hearing your talk. What can they do for you, or you for them, which forms a community of interest (in both the involvement, and the curiosity sense of that word)?

Considering these factors will not, of course, guarantee success. Indeed, so complex are human interrelationships that not even a team of sociologists could tease out the full niceties of an audience’s attitudes and expectations. But the speaker should not abandon attempts to be rational about his presentation, just because an audience is a complex entity. His analysis of the audience will always be imprecise. But this does not matter, because the audience will come half-way to meet the speaker. From their end of the communicative relationship they will be making the same allowances and adjustments as the speaker is making from his. Few audiences are malicious, and the speaker can count on a reserve of willingness and tolerance from them.

We should also realize that language is a very approximate medium. Even if an exact specification of the audience’s attitudes and needs could be written, the encoding of the message can only be approximate. So even a crude analysis is better than none. What is needed is protection from the grosser and more obvious mistakes. To plunge in, without having first thought about the audience, is like navigating over a reef without a map. The speaker may make it, and never know how close his or her hull came to the fangs of rock beneath. But it is just as likely that he or she will end up with a wrecked argument, and the cargo of ideas just so much flotsam washing uselessly around in the stormy minds of the audience! If that happens, the speaker has only him or herself to blame if he or she had not first charted the passage. Thinking first, even though it is approximate, is better than making mistakes. And thinking is only
complete if it is made explicit.

If you are serious about giving a good presentation, take the time to jot down your judgment of the audience as the first page of notes you make towards the presentation.

The Speech Context Is Important

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First, you should analyze the occasion. Decide what the purpose of the meeting is. What is the audience expecting to gain from being there? Are they hoping to make a decision, or are they there simply to keep an eye on progress? Is the talk of general interest, or is it to give new information about a specific process? Will the audience use the information immediately, and if so for what purpose? Many presentations are chiefly psychological in aim. The intention of the monthly branch meeting, for instance, is often to make sure that people come together at least once a month. It helps to give them a sense of corporate identity, and to encourage their loyalty and enthusiasm. Such a meeting may be a platform for news about the company, a place to set new sales targets, for giving information about progress in meeting these targets, and for news, about colleagues.

Another type of meeting is the symposium of a learned society. Here the purpose is probably to disseminate information and to encourage other workers. Listeners may pick up ideas which apply to their own work, or they may simply expand their general knowledge. Other groups may consist of a few research managers, one or two people from head office, and the speaker’s own immediate boss, who wants a new project explaining. It may need the approval of all the audience if the company is going to be persuaded to spend money on it.

There are as many purposes as there are meetings. It is naive to imagine that the purpose is often a single one. I doubt if many presentations are purely for general interest; or indeed if many of them are to sell one particular idea only. They will also be goodwill exercises for the company or department, career-building opportunities for the speaker, and general back-patting, congratulatory sessions for the group. What people will do as a result of the talk is as diverse as their reasons for being present. Some will go back to their offices and sign cheques or requisitions; some will merely forget the whole thing; some will find that in a conversation days later they have information unexpectedly relevant to what is being discussed. The task of visualizing, quite specifically, why people are there is an important step in understanding the audience. Unless you can write down a statement of what the audience will actually do as a result of hearing your presentation, you have not really clarified the purpose of the meeting.

A next question to ask is whether the meeting is one of a series, or whether it was called to deal with the topic of the moment. Are there precedents for such a meeting? Does management ask for regular presentations on research topics? Are administrative bottlenecks always thrashed out in head-of-department meetings, with the responsible officer addressing the group? The attitudes and expectations of the audience will depend very much on what they are used to. Imagine yourself being asked to give a paper; your own knowledge of the precedents will help you to avoid obvious pitfalls. If your paper is to be given in one of a series of research colloquy, it will help to remember your impression of the other speakers you have heard. The audience will probably view you in the same way.

Perhaps the worst feature of the colleague you have attended so far has been the blind specialization of some of the speakers. They may have been wrapped up entirely in the fascination of their own techniques. The only bit of the last talk you enjoyed may have been, for instance, a short section on the translation of pure research ideas into commercial reality; the rest was irrelevant and therefore boring. From your own reaction to others, you have a model with which to design your own talk. Clearly, in the situation we are discussing, unless there are many people in the audience working on the same specialization, the speaker should keep discussion of the intricacies to a minimum. But information about the commercial hopes and pressures that fuel the research, and their effect on the direction of the work, could form a major section of the talk.

Let me take another example. Imagine a computer systems analyst, presenting technical (not specifically sales) information on a new product for a potential customer. His branch manager may also be in the audience, so it is a career opportunity as well as an information giving session, and obviously an occasion to impress the expertise and quality of his company’s professionalism. But if the presentation is one of a series given by every major computer manufacturer competing for the order, a shrewd guess at the line taken by other speakers will help greatly. To repeat the same claims, and offer the same facilities is useless. What is distinctive must be stressed.

Awareness of precedent is essential for a successful presentation. Most talks fit into a familiar context; they form part of a pattern, and the audience’s expectations are formed by this pattern. All communication depends on contrast with its context, and language operates by using the contrast between different sounds to signify meaning. For example, the difference between ‘red’ and ‘led’ lies only in the first letter. Orientals find the contrast between these sounds difficult to perceive, usually, and without it meaning is lost. Equally, unless there is a contrast between the communication medium and the context it is received in, no meaning can be transmitted.

A language which consisted of a series of humming tones might work well in the quiet plains of Mongolia where we can imagine it originating. It would be useless in a modern factory filled with machinery. Contrast between elements in a language, and between the language and its context is essential. In the same way, yet another paper read in a droning monotone in a conference filled with monotonous papers will not communicate. It will be ignored and forgotten. In considering the precedents for your presentation build on the contrasts that will make it stand out.

Think Your Audience First: The First Priority For Successful Speaker

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Thinking about the audience is the first stage in preparing to give a successful talk or presentation. They are the recipients of the information; it must be selected and tailored for their needs. They are also the people whose presence will make you nervous when you speak, whose reactions will depress or encourage you, and whose judgment will measure your success or failure.

When you are thinking about this audience, you must remember, too, that they are active, not passive, participants. They are not empty jugs, sitting waiting for you to pour information into their ears. They have attitudes, interests, likes and dislikes of their own. So the speaker has a personnel management role; he or she has to deal with people and not just with facts. He must not only dole out the information, but anticipate difficulties, deal with problems, to smooth the whole process. So what does a speaker need to know about his audience?

Firstly, he or she should be aware that all audiences have some of the qualities of a crowd. An audience is a group of individuals, many of whom the speaker may know personally, yet collected together they acquire a new personality. When individuals are collected in a room, in enforced silence, all facing one other individual, the speaker, they change. For instance, it is obvious to anyone who watches an audience that their emotions, such as laughter, boredom, and enthusiasm, are both stronger and more sustained.

Every group, even a small and decorous collection of familiar colleagues, displays some of the qualities the sociologists call ‘crowd phenomenon’. W.J.H.Sprott, in his book Human Groups, writes:

‘There is general agreement that a person who is a full member of a crowd…is likely to behave differently from the way he would behave if he were by himself.’ The differences of behavior can be summed up in two ways. The first is that there is a heightening of emotionality. The man in the presence of danger feels frightened; in the presence of other people experiencing and showing the same emotion, his fear is even stronger. The second way is that people in a group have a reduced sense of responsibility, less critical sense, and weaker self-control.

There has been much research to try to determine why it should be that people in groups behave less responsibly than individuals. Miller and Dollard point out that as we grow up we are rewarded when we act in the same way as other people act, and punished for nonconformity. The result is that we are taught to accept leadership from others. People in crowds often behave in ways which they would consider reprehensible if they were alone. The crowd becomes their ‘super-ego’.

There is no doubt, then, that a group of people is different from an individual, or even two or three people. Hopefully, no speaker during his regular work as manager, administrator, or scientist is likely to encounter a lynching-mob. But he should not forget that every group is tinged with the crowd phenomenon. Collections of people must be treated with care.

The care is best expressed by spending time thinking about exactly who they are, and what they want. Most speakers have a fair idea of what sort of audience they have to face. They know, for instance, if a group is likely to be hostile or welcoming. But many speakers do not think long enough, or clearly enough, about their audience. Cumbersome though it seems, I believe strongly that thinking about the audience should be done on paper. The effort of writing explicit answers will crystallize half perceived ideas.

Speech come first: Do You Argue?

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Spoken language was the first form of communication between human beings. It came long before written language, and writing is a transcript of speech, not vice versa. This more primitive form of communication still provides the most direct access to other minds. The reason why people prefer to listen to a spoken explanation is that it seems to need less effort to understand than the more formal medium of writing. Yet some speakers try to make speech as close to writing as possible, and destroy its freshness and immediacy. Speaking is the direct route from one mind to another, and is the way we usually choose when we want to ask a question, or give an explanation. Research shows that ideas and information are more easily understood and processed through speech than through writing.

Unless they are pretending to be formal, people usually speak in a style which is more direct, and easier to understand, than the style in which they write; speech makes the personal interaction more immediate. One of the reasons is that when speaking, interest and enthusiasm in the listeners are generated by non-verbal, as well as by verbal, signals. The variety and impact of the message are heightened by the presence of another person. Listeners also feel more secure when they can see the person who is giving them new information. Their judgment of the validity of the message, the competence, and the depth of knowledge of the speaker is easier if non-verbal clues, as well as verbal clues, are available. There are many reasons why speaking is the best of the communication channels. It is not always used, largely because people are afraid of their inexperience and inability to speak well. Yet practice and study can provide the skill needed to use this most direct path into the minds of others. It is worth the effort to become an effective speaker.

The Requirement for Speaking: The Broad Line Idea

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If we are to improve speaking skills, we must first become more aware of ourselves, our Motivations, behavior patterns, and likely mistakes. Second, we must be aware of the audience’s psychology, and their reactions to the speaker’s faults and omissions. The first problem for all speakers is being aware of themselves, and judging correctly their own part in what is, for many, an unfamiliar interaction. Quite a bit of the advice and discussion throughout the book will be about how we achieve this useful self-knowledge. One of the difficulties, for example, is that although we are always trying to present ourselves in a favorable light to others, we have little real idea of what we sound like to them.

The main effect we have is created by the tone of our own voice. Indeed, some people are said to be very fond of this sound! But the sound we hear ourselves is very different from the sound that everyone else hears, because we hear it in a different way. Other people hear us (and we hear other people) only through sound waves in the air. But we hear our own voice mainly as the vibrations transmitted from the voice box, through the bones of the head. Only by trying shouting into a skull from a medical student’s skeleton can we judge what a difference these bone resonances make. You can perhaps appreciate what a difference this method of transmission makes by considering how often people are surprised by tape-recordings of their own voices. Psychologists have discovered that we are typically quite unaware of the emotive affects of the way we speak. We may not realize how cross we sound, for example, or how often we interrupt other people.

The second area for careful thought is diagnosing what has gone wrong when a talk fails to have a good effect. The reasons are usually in part lack of knowledge about the audience’s perceptions and expectations, and in part general disorganization. In my experience, presentations are often ineffective either because of ill-thought-out behaviour, and lack of confidence,11 or because of a failure to organize ideas and information in an easily understood way. There is a great deal of knowledge and experience about why talks fail, and this book suggests ways in which you can avoid failure. So take heart; if a talk you have just given has collapsed into disaster, there is hope. The reasons for such failures are fairly well known. If the thought of speaking fills you with cold despair, or even if you are just not very satisfied with your performances so far, there are plenty of solutions. The first problem is having the courage to recognize your mistakes and thoughtlessness. The second (and easier) problem is to correct them.

If you must give a speech tomorrow, and have no time to read the whole blog now, the best single piece of advice I can offer you is this. Practice is the best way to learn a skill like speaking, and if practice is to be effective, you need a critic. This is not just my own hunch; it is a well recognized result in research on social skills that:

A text can provide a coherent background of concepts and principles where these exist…or supply knowledge about techniques, but to teach successfully each individual must practise the skill, receiving feedback on his performance, in order to discover his own particular abilities and failings.

Practice is vital, but practice by yourself tells you very little. Who ever felt nervous in front of a bathroom mirror? And effective criticism from a spouse is more likely to result in divorce than in
better speaking. The best source of criticism is another person, and the best other person is someone you trust, but who has no axe to grind. Find a friend, and ask him or her to sit and listen to you trying out your talk, if possible in the empty room you will use for the actual talk. Believe what they say to you, for your perception of yourself is nothing like as accurate as theirs. Their advice is likely to be the best quick guide to effective speaking you can find. If they, and you, have time to go further on the quest for good speaking, then get him or her to read this blog. It aims to give the framework of ideas, evidence, and anecdote for good speaking. But in the end the substance of good speaking is acquired by intelligent awareness while speaking, and only practice will perfect the advice this blog offers.

Learn To Speak Well: Is Their Any Alternatives

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Most people think a decent standard of competence in speaking to a group is part of the basic professionalism of any job; but too many professionals are nervous about speaking, and afraid that they do not speak well. The basic premise of this book, as I have said, is that such a decent standard can be learned, and this confidence is based on many years of experience in training people to speak. A first stage in building up the confidence to speak is to think about the job of speaking, what tools you will use, and what effects you aim to achieve. Language is the basic tool, and language is a mysterious phenomenon. Consider, for a moment, the basic skills in communicating that everyone possesses. Language is used by all human beings; we use it copiously and without second thought every day of our lives. Indeed, our ability and confidence in manipulating language is a central part of the personality we present to those around us. But there is nothing unalterable about these abilities.

Because language skills grew without conscious thought we imagine that our level of competence in the use of language is something unalterable. If we are hesitant, slow, unimaginative, and pedestrian we fear that this situation is foredoomed, that we cannot change what we are. But our language skills are not what we are. Because we negotiate most of our interactions with the outside world through language these skills may appear to others to represent all that we are, and we often allow ourselves to believe their view of us. But we should not. Language skills can be modified and improved by repeating the same processes we first used to acquire them. We learned our language by listening to others, and imitating what they did. We can improve our command of it in the same way; by listening to research findings and advice based on them, imitating techniques which we observe to work, and thinking.

Many people argue that speaking well is no more than the application of common sense. But in this blog the results of research in psychology and linguistics are used to support advice on effective techniques. By doing this, I aim to help the speaker become more aware of the complex interactions between speaker, message and audience. The application of thought to any activity requires us to understand it first.The common sense school will reject all such ideas on the grounds that they are either obvious, or incomprehensible. Such a Luddite approach should be foreign to an engineer or scientist, but surprisingly it is often people who apply rational thought in their jobs, who consider language skills to be in the realm of witchcraft.

I am not unaware of the fears that this approach may evoke. And I am certainly aware that not all research is useful, comprehensible, or relevant. I am not about to bombard you with a textbook of academic psychology. It is certainly true, for instance, that all too often the so-called ‘discoveries’ of the human sciences are rather obvious. One investigator warns his readers that:

Occasionally we make discoveries which fail to set the world alight with surprise and admiration. One of the more profound insights we have achieved since 1945 has been the realization that man speaks. He also listens to speech. Some men read and write as well.

But just because some research confirms the obvious, it should not necessarily be ignored. It is surprising how often speakers fail to use common sense, and surprising how often the obvious has to be repeated when training people to speak. I argue that we should pay attention to the objective, scientific, evidence about how people speak, and how they affect the audience. I agree we should avoid that excessive faith in laboratory responses which George Miller calls ‘psycholatry’. We should strike a balance between ignorance of research, and pseudoscientific over-respect for jargon. Our aim, we should not forget, is to speak better: it is not to become armchair psychologists, nor is it to give up the task as a hopeless case, to which no rules apply, and in which no knowledge can help.

So far I have discussed the role of research findings in developing practical skills as if research on people’s behavior is always a bland confirmation of familiar patterns. But sometimes the results are unexpected. The most interesting and useful results of psychological research are often the ones which are ‘counter-intuitive, that is to say surprising and quite unexpected.’ A well-known worker on social psychology, Michael Argyle, reminds us that his subject is:

full of surprises because many of the research findings could not have been anticipated by a thoughtful person sitting in an armchair and analyzing what happens when people meet.

By talking about these interactions more precisely than is common, I hope to make the speaker perform better. But this can only be done if we bring into consciousness skills which are usually unconscious. Many people fear that this will make them lose spontaneity and become painfully self-conscious. But that does not seem to happen. The increased consciousness of what we are doing is usually not noticed by others, while the improved skills most certainly are. Everyone who has been involved in training social and performance skills agrees that thinking about these skills improves them.

If the first premise of this blog, then, is that speaking skills can be improved by thinking about them, the second one is that psychology and linguistics have much to teach us. I must be careful, though, that the blog is not regarded as a manual for experts, or that I am regarded as a super-speaker who does not understand the fears of the ordinary trembling mortal. I am not. Nisbet suggests that in speaking, as in other things, there are:

three levels of proficiency: the provisional license holder, the ordinary road user and the rally driver. The first is learning the rules; the second has everyday skills, and some bad habits; the third can break many of the elementary rules—a dangerous style, but a delight to the connoisseur.

I am aiming to help the ordinary road user. I am not a rally driver myself, and have usually come a cropper when I have tried to be one. It is the decent standard of ordinary competence in speaking that this blog aims at.

E-Mail: The Evidence of Digital Communication

2009-04-08T09:56:00.003+06:00

“There are managers so preoccupied with their e-mail messages that they never look up from their screens to see what’s happening in the non-digital world.”

Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,
author of Flow and Creativity

For most businesspeople, e-mail has become the most common form of written communication. Because many workers spend most of the day “wired” to computers, e-mail is the only way to reach them quickly and reliably.

In general, people use e-mail to quickly exchange time-sensitive information. E-mail is easy to use and removes the headache of printing out letters and stuffing envelopes. E-mail potentially enables managers to get more done in a single day than they would by chasing down the same information via phone or fax or waiting for letters to arrive in the mail.

E-Mail, the most common thing in today's world, is the main part of Digital Communication. Throughout the following some blog, we will discuss about e-mail, its importance, technique to write e-mail professionally.

COMMUNICATING VIA E-MAIL

E-mail stands for electronic mail, but you don’t need a wall outlet to be plugged in to work correspondence. In this wired world, your e-mail in-box no longer resides solely in your desktop computer, but instead travels wherever you, your laptop, or your hand held device go. E-mail is as likely to be crafted on a Black Berry during a bumpy cab ride as on a laptop in a quiet home office. The ease with which people can reach others through e-mail has resulted in far more information being exchanged than in the era of typewritten letters. This volume has its advantages and disadvantages.

E-mail is the most pervasive and useful communication tool to emerge since the telephone. A 2006 survey by the staffing company Office Team found that 71 percent of executives use e-mail as their preferred method of communication, whereas only 27 percent were doing so in 2001. Employees in most businesses use e-mail internally to set up meetings, ask for information, and exchange opinions and ideas. Organizations use e-mail externally to share information with business partners, investors, or customers. E-mail enables companies to swap vital information with suppliers and vendors, and makes it possible for geographically dispersed employees to collaborate in ways never before possible. Both you and your staff have little choice but to learn to express yourself effectively via e-mail.

Future Prediction: The Big Picture

According to Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, in the future, new technologies will make communication a multi-sensory experience of sight and sound. “Unified communications technologies will eliminate the barriers between the communications modes—e-mail, voice, web conferencing and more—that we use every day. They will enable us to close the gap between the devices we use to contact people when we need information and the applications and business processes where we use that information. The impact on productivity, creativity and collaboration will be profound,” predicts Gates.

You Can Increase Your Success By Writing With Purpose

2009-04-07T21:03:00.004+06:00

Once you have a clear understanding of who your audience is, you need to answer the question: Why am I writing?

You may be writing an e-mail to ask an employee or coworker for information. Or you might be writing a report to convince your boss that increasing resources is necessary to complete a project on time. Figuring out the purpose of your communication will help you organize your writing, assess what kind of evidence or information you need to back up your statements, and determine the style and tone of your writing.

In general, most written business communications have one of two purposes: to request information or the resolution of an issue, or to persuade.

Writing to request or resolve. Open with a respectful greeting to the person you are addressing before quickly moving on to the purpose of the request. If you don’t know the proper contact name, make a quick telephone call to find it out, rather than using the generic “To whom it may concern.”

State the specific reason for writing in the first sentence of your document or letter. Be sure to supply identifying information of special relevance to your reader—a reference to a previous conversation or event, a document, customer order, invoice, or job number, etc. This gives context to your message and enables a reader to be reasonably assured it is valid, especially if you are contacting someone for the first time.

If you are hoping to resolve an issue, avoid sarcasm and accusations. Not only do you risk letting anger cloud your judgment, but you will not endear yourself to the very people who could solve your problem. If you do feel the need to express your dissatisfaction, use a civil tone and address the person respectfully. When sending an e-mail, keep in mind that it is a medium in which the tone of a message can be easily misinterpreted as sarcasm or disrespect.

Writing to persuade. Trying to get someone to come around to your way of thinking is never easy. It is decidedly more difficult using only the written word, which cannot communicate facial expressions or the inflections of voice that lend emphasis during a conversation. Nevertheless, crafting a convincing correspondence or report is possible. Your power of persuasion will be determined largely by your selection of words.

When crafting a persuasive message, experts say, one word is more powerful than all others: “You.” Don’t begin by talking about yourself. Instead, let the person on the receiving end take center stage. Connect your purpose in writing with the interests and needs of your reader.

For example, if you are writing to convince employees that their participation in a certain endeavor is needed, emphasize what is of value to your workforce. If overtime will be required, let them know it is a temporary situation and emphasize that it reflects positively on the company and hence on each person directly.

Let them know you sympathize, and offer some token of appreciation in return for their continued commitment.

If you are writing to customers, focus on how you or your product can help them meet their needs. Consider this letter:

Dear Mr. Expert,

Your name was provided by a colleague, Fred Smith. Fred suggested you might be interested in our digital pager, which will be unveiled at the Online Communication trade show in Chicago. If you are attending the show, I can make arrangements for you to get a trial version of the pager and determine if it meets the needs of your mobile workforce. Please let me know if I can help.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

John Doe
Marketing Manager

Although this letter does not guarantee a response, it offers Mr. Expert some compelling reasons to consider replying. First, the reference to someone he knows is a tip-off that it was sent by a credible source. Second, it spells out the reasons Mr. Chen might be interested in learning more about the product. It closes by offering him

Writing Skill To Develop In Career

Managers who write sloppy, unclear, or convoluted correspondence and documents do themselves no career favors.

Consider a 2004 survey by the Business Roundtable and the National Commission on Writing for America’s Families, Schools, and Colleges, which found that 51 percent of all companies surveyed take candidates’ writing ability into account when considering them for a higher position. Moreover, the ability to write well could prove decisive when seeking a job. “People who cannot write and communicate clearly will not be hired and are unlikely to last long enough to be considered for promotion,” according to the report.

The bottom line? If you are serious about advancing your managerial career, polish your writing skills.

You Will Write For Whom: Audience Is The Right Answer

2009-04-07T15:04:00.006+06:00

Try putting yourself in the shoes of the readers to whom you are directing your message. How will they react to the information? What information do they care most about? What do they need from you?

Knowing your audience will also help you determine the degree of formality with which you should write. For example, though contractions such as “I’ll” or “we’ll” were once considered casual shorthand for the proper terms “I shall,” “I will,” “we shall,” or “we will,” formal business writing no longer frowns upon their use. Although there are no hard-and-fast rules on using casual contractions, knowing who you are writing for should dictate whether to use them or not. If you are unsure, always err on the side of caution and avoid contractions and other less-formal conventions. Keep the stamp of professionalism uppermost in your mind.

In today’s global economy, with more and more companies outsourcing parts of their business functions to firms in other countries, communicating with colleagues and customers outside the United States has become common. When writing to an international business audience, be mindful that they tend to prefer more formal communications. For example, refrain from addressing overseas business contacts by their first names unless instructed otherwise; always use their full names, or address them by title and last name (“Ms. Jones,”“Mr. Smith”).

Dos and Don'ts During Writing For Your Audience

Keeping your audience in mind means being aware of and addressing their particular concerns.

Do orient your message around the reader’s interests.

Do determine the level of formality based on your audience.

Do maintain a professional tone, even in less formal writing.

Don’t forget to take cultural and language differences into consideration.

Do invite readers to respond.

The Basics Of Communicating In Writing

2009-04-07T12:43:00.006+06:00

The need to write clearly and thoughtfully arises in virtually every situation you face as a manager. Good writing, in fact, is one of the most highly prized competencies. An e-mail, memo, letter, or formal report each has its own special requirements, but fundamental principles apply to all business writing: planning before writing, using correct grammar, knowing your audience, understanding the purpose of your writing, striking the right tone, and revising and editing.

Research and Planning

Before you start writing, gather all the information required to craft an effective message. Consult whatever business intelligence you will need— such as sales forecasts, customer history, industry trends, and other applicable information—so you can back up your statements directly in your correspondence or report. For weighty matters, you may need to do more extensive research to buttress the points you intend to make.

“Think before you write. Nothing worthwhile yields to human effort without a plan.”

—L. E. Frailey,
author of Handbook of Business Letters

Whether research is needed depends greatly on your subject and the people to whom you are writing. Doing research at a library or performing a detailed search using the Internet is usually sufficient to back up your points with hard facts. In communications within a department or organization, such research may be unnecessary. But supporting your correspondence or sales materials to prospective customers with relevant business information helps win their confidence and can help generate new business.

Before you write, map out the information you plan to share and why you are doing so. Start by jotting down notes on paper and then highlighting the key issues you want to emphasize.

Dos and don'ts

NOTE-TAKING BASICS

Distilling the most important information from a mass of material is easier if you work efficiently and deliberately.

Here are some pointers:

Don’t frustrate yourself with excessive research.

Do jot down only the most pertinent information.

Don’t write sloppily and assume you will be able to read your handwriting later.

Don’t write complete sentences while taking notes (unless needed for clarification). Instead, jot down phrases.

Do use abbreviations, as long as you can understand them. Example:“$3K” instead of “3,000 dollars.”

Do write special comments in the margins for later reference.

The note-taking process is helpful in two ways. First, the act of writing itself tends to stimulate ideas or concepts you had not previously considered—scholars call this “emergent information.” Second, seeing ideas in front of you makes it easier to sort out the most essential details and organize them in a logical order. Keep similar items and ideas together. This will help you recognize repetition or determine in what form the information can best be communicated.

Grammar, Language, and Style

Regardless of the form in which you are writing—say, a casual e-mail, a formal letter, or a report—you should always aim to write with clarity and simplicity. For example, rather than writing that your company is “interested in aligning the potentialities of your company with our long-standing reputation as a global innovator,” write that your company “has a strong reputation as an innovator. We should discuss how we can benefit each other by joining forces.”

In writing, less is often more—keep it short and to the point. Always use correct grammar and accurate language.

Rules of grammar and writing were developed so that we could all understand one another. In contexts where accurate and respectful communication is important, these rules can assume greater weight than they do in day-to-day affairs. Some people are sticklers for minutiae when reading business correspondence. Here are some of the most common mistakes writers make:

Wrong use of contractions. “It’s” is a contraction for “it is.” “Its” (no apostrophe) indicates the possessive case of the impersonal pronoun. For example:

The hotline number is now operating. Its purpose is to provide better communication with our customers. It’s imperative that all messages left on the hotline be answered within one business day.

The contraction “they’re” and the plural possessive “their” are also often used incorrectly. The
following example illustrates the misuses of “it’s” and “they’re”:

The company is sending out it’s orders today. Customers should receive they’re orders next week.

Written correctly:

The company is sending out its orders today. Customers should receive their orders next week.

Overuse of commas and comma splicing. Commas can be used as pauses between major ideas in sentences. If possible, keep them to a minimum. Also, do not string or splice together complete sentences with only a comma when a logical connecting word or phrase is needed. “I think, I am” is a comma splice. The missing word makes all the difference: “I think, therefore I am.”

Failure to hyphenate properly. A “small business problem” is quite different from a “small-business problem.” Written without hyphens, the phrase would not be clear. Is the problem a small one or is it one typically found in small businesses? In general, two nouns used together to modify another noun are hyphenated (for example, time-management skills).

Less versus fewer. Use “less” for entities that are difficult or impossible to count—snow, rain, time, money. Use “fewer” for terms that can be counted—meetings, managers, machines. Keep in mind these particular correct usages: “We spent less money this month” and “the newer
machines take fewer coins.”

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is really a large matter— ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

—Mark Twain,
American author

Which versus that. These two words introduce a clause that describes a noun. Using “that” indicates the clause is “essential”; it is vital to the sentence’s meaning, providing specific information. For example, “The memo that addresses purchase orders needs to be sent today.” But introducing the clause with “which,” offset by commas, indicates the clause is “nonessential.”

For example, “The memo, which addresses purchase orders, needs to be sent today.” In this sentence, the nonessential clause “which addresses purchase orders” could be deleted without losing the point of the sentence: “The memo needs to be sent today.”

Redundancies are redundant. All history is past history. All completions are finalized.

Some phrases make no sense when you think about them, or they mean something that was never intended. How often have you read that a “first annual” golf tournament was being held? If the event is intended to be annual, say so. Until it has actually become a yearly occurrence, however, use “first-ever,” “inaugural,”or “debut” instead. Also beware of “close proximity.” By definition, two businesses in “proximity” to each other are nearby; “close proximity” suggests that they are even closer.

Strategy To Set Your Body Language Before Entering Into Crowded Room

2009-04-03T23:48:00.003+06:00

Nearly everyone at some time feels nervous when entering a crowded room. Even that confident-looking man or woman in the corner probably has butterflies inside them. So how can you alleviate these feelings and make new contacts and friends in this situation?

First make sure you have taken care over your appearance and that you are wearing the appropriate clothes for the occasion. Wear something that makes you feel good, that you know suits you and wear colours that enhance your confidence and not drain it. Also ensure that you are well groomed and for women, wearing make up can considerably enhance your confidence,
particularly lipstick.

Many people fear entering a crowded room because they are afraid that everyone will be looking at them. They won’t. I promise you that unless you are a famous actor, royal personage, celebrity, or Prime Minister/President then hardly anyone will even notice you arrive. For show-offs like me I find this most disappointing!

Before you enter that room ensure that your inner voice is correct:

I can handle this

I am confident

I am going to enjoy meeting some new people today

I know you won’t trust that inner voice to begin with but remember the body will do what the brain tells it and vice verse.

So put your shoulders back, open your chest, stand tall and ensure that your posture is upright, not too stiff but confident.

One other trick that can help you is to visualize an experience in your life where you felt extremely pleased and proud of yourself, where perhaps you had just achieved something, you’d passed an examination, or your driving test for example. How did you feel then? What was your body language like? Yes, head up, confident, smiling. By evoking this experience you can release the positive thoughts and emotions, your body language will respond accordingly and you will look and become more confident.

SILENCE that awful little negative voice that keeps creeping in saying things like ‘ I am going to hate this.’ ‘I can’t do this.’ ‘I wish the ground would swallow me up and I could disappear.’ ‘I wish I could escape.’ Can you see how this kind of inner voice will drag you down, and pull all your body language with it? If you believe you are going to hate it – you WILL hate it.

Look for the lone person

Make sure you arrive in plenty of time, neither too early or late. Stand just inside the room and look around you. Now, there are a number of things you can do, all of which I do myself. Look for someone who is standing on his or her own. They may be looking lost; they may be reading the program or standing with a cup of coffee but they are alone. Move forward and approach them. Don’t get too close but keep your personal space distance, smile and give them eye contact. You can then open the conversation by saying ‘Hello, is it all right if I join you?’

They will, believe me, be overwhelmed with gratitude. They smile and say, ‘Of course.’

Then you can introduce yourself. Here you may wish to extend your hand, ‘I’m Jane Smith.’
‘Harry Brown.’ ‘Is this your first time here, Harry?’ or ‘Have you been to one of these events before, Harry?’

You may have noticed that in my response I have repeated their name. This is an old trick and one that will help you remember their name. It works for me every time.

Don’t approach two people standing face to face or a threesome standing in a triangle as their body language is communicating that they do not wish to be interrupted. If you do need to break into a triangle stand just on the edge and wait until there is a change in body language or a natural gap in the conversation.

Join a queue

Another way of making contacts at these types of events is to join a queue. There is always a queue: for coffee, for lunch, for signing in, for looking at things on tables etc. It is then very simple to turn to the person behind you or in front of you and start a conversation with some thing along the lines of:

‘I hate these queues, don’t you?’

‘The food smells nice, doesn’t it?’

‘I’m really looking forward to my coffee, the journey

here was dreadful this morning – did you get held up on the train?’

Ask questions, for example about their occupation, where they have come from, how they traveled to the venue?

Nod your head to encourage them to talk, keep eye contact relaxed and friendly, smile comfortably and tilt your head to show that you are listening to them. If you are particularly brave lightly touch them on the arm, beneath the elbow, to connect with them.

Do not overstay your welcome or hog them for the entire event but move on and try talking to someone else. As you sit down for example – ‘Is this anyone’s seat?’ ‘I’m looking forward to this seminar are you?’ ‘How far did you have to come today?’ ‘Have you been to any of these before?’ And you’re off.

What if you get stuck with the bore?

Having been brave enough to find someone to talk to, and having opened up the conversation, what happens if you then discover that you are saddled with the seminar nutcase or the complete bore? You have tried your hardest to be nice and to listen but the time has come for you to move on. How do you do this politely?

When you do need to move on you can formalize this by stretching out your hand and saying, ‘It’s been really nice meeting you/talking to you. I hope you enjoy the show/seminar, have a safe journey home.’ Or you may lightly touch them on the arm, (again below the elbow) smile and say the above without shaking hands, depending on the formality of the gathering.

Sometimes another person will enter your conversation making the group a trio. Hopefully your new contact will introduce you but if they don’t introduce yourself offer your hand and say
‘Hello I’m xxxx.’

Alternatively you may use this as the time to duck out. Make your apologies, smile and move on.

Handshake: The Formal Way To Build Rapport

2009-04-03T23:07:00.002+06:00

The handshake is a very powerful body language gesture. You can form an instant impression of someone by the way they shake hands with you and it can also tell you a considerable amount about the person you are dealing with. Until recently the handshake was predominantly a male body language gesture and women, unless they were of a higher social class, did not shake hands. However, times have changed and there are now many more women in business and the workplace and so both men and women use the handshake.

The friendly handshake

When you greet someone you should walk forwards with your arm outstretched, not too stiff but with your elbow tucked into your waist. You should smile and hold the other person’s eye contact.

As I mentioned above, since the handshake is not the usual form of greeting for women, many men are not sure if they should shake hands with women. So, in order to eliminate this problem, women should offer their hand first.

Your handshake should be firm and dry. It is not always easy to know if you are giving a good handshake, as people won’t tell you. To find out what your handshake is like why not shake hands with someone whose opinion you trust and ask them honestly to tell you. Do you need to firm it up? Is it perhaps too strong and you need to relax it a little?

Take the whole hand and not just the fingertips. Do not pump the hand but shake it and then release it.

Building rapport through the handshake

Be attuned to the person you are shaking hands with. If they give you a firm handshake try and return the pressure, not so that you get into a wrestling match with them but just slightly. If their handshake is weaker than yours, then relax yours. This is all part of building rapport. You are in fact mirroring their body language – but more about this later.

The dominant person’s handshake

Be aware of the length of time you hold onto someone’s hand. Too long and this can be viewed as a dominant body language gesture.

I find this particularly irritating and offensive but there is little you can do about it apart from trying to wrest your hand away, which would look silly and be rather pointless. So instead force yourself to keep good steady eye contact with this person, who will also be using dominant eye contact on you – it almost becomes a battle of wills – and keep smiling, not grinning inanely, or aggressively gritting your teeth, but smiling pleasantly.

The dominant person’s handshake will be very strong, almost too strong and again, so as to avoid being cast into an inferior role in this relationship, you should return the pressure giving the non-verbal signal that you are no pushover.

The superior person’s handshake

This has many of the traits stated above. The superior (and dominant) person can offer his hand to you from a great distance away; his arm will be outstretched and stiff as he walks towards you, then he will take your hand in his vice-like grip.

He may also do the double clutch handshake, which is sometimes referred to as the Politician’s Handshake – watch newsreels to see just how many politicians use this! Here he puts his other hand on top of yours.

Your reaction? Well try putting your hand on top of his like playing ‘pat a cake’. By doing this you are effectively saying ‘Oh no you’re not in charge, I am equally superior and dominant as you ‘even if you don’t feel you are’ – it works.

A variation of this superior body language is where the person shakes your hand but also touches your shoulder.

If this is man-to-man and the other man is known to you then it can be interpreted as a friendly gesture. But if you have just met this man for the first time, or don’t know him very well, it can be interpreted as a dominant, superior gesture.

If a man touches a woman’s upper arm then it is more of an intimate gesture as is a man touching a woman’s back.

Women tend to touch each other more than men and would usually touch the lower arm.

Touching a person’s elbow, either man or woman, is a friendly gesture and usually prompts a positive response.

Greetings And Introductions: The Basic Starter for Body Language in Communication

2009-04-03T22:26:00.003+06:00

There are many different ways of greeting people depending on the culture of the country you are visiting. It is therefore best to be aware of these if you are doing business abroad or even taking a holiday.

Here we discuss the general forms of greeting:

eye contact

smile

handshake.

There are others of course and here are some of them and what they mean:

the handshake and kiss on one cheek – formal but also more friendly, you know the other person quite well and usually like them

the kiss on two cheeks often holding onto the other persons shoulders- much more friendly

the hug – intimate and very friendly

the kiss on the lips – very intimate and very friendly

the smile but no bodily contact – we know the person but are not that close to them, or feel rather shy or uncomfortable in touching them

Eye contact

There are cultural differences in how much eye contact it is acceptable to give another person when meeting them and listening to them. In Britain, America and Canada quite a lot of eye contact is given between individuals. In Europe less so although research has shown the Greeks prefer a considerable amount of eye contact, the Swedes less so. Arabs are fairly dependent on maintaining eye contact while the Japanese tend to look downward, aiming at a person’s neck rather than directly into their eyes.

When you meet someone, you should aim to hold the eye contact while smiling and shaking hands with them and then break eye contact when the other person looks away, or when you finish shaking hands and change your body posture.

Too much eye contact can make the other person feel uncomfortable. It can be used as a dominant gesture and is an invasion of privacy.

If you give too little eye contact it can suggest boredom, disinterest or maybe shyness. Closing the eyes completely when making conversation is a negative signal.

If the person refuses to give you eye contact then try asking a direct question. Once you get eye contact, no matter how fleeting, connect with it and smile to show encouragement and to build rapport.

When flirting our eye contact tends to rove, giving quick glances accompanied by smiling and laughing. When more serious flirting is taking place the gaze will linger longer and when intimate will move from the eyes to the mouth and occasionally drop to the neck. To deal with unwanted flirting keep your gaze on the business zone, that of eyes and forehead.

The smile

Your smile should be warm and welcoming. Obviously the better you know someone and like them the warmer your smile. We all know, or have met, people who although smiling their eyes show no warmth or welcome and the gesture is an empty one. False smiles are held in place, the lips stiff and stretched and the eyes stay unsmiling. This is also often an aggressive and sometimes dominant stance and can be used as a gesture to keep people at their distance.

Smiling is good for you.

Smiling helps to ward off viruses and can alleviate stress as can laughter. If you smile more you will find that your day is brighter and easier, that people will return your smile, that you feel happier, you discover more information, you get greater cooperation from others. It’s got be worth it, hasn’t it?

The handshake

The handshake is a very powerful body language gesture. You can form an instant impression of someone by the way they shake hands with you and it can also tell you a considerable amount about the person you are dealing with. Until recently the handshake was predominantly a male body language gesture and women, unless they were of a higher social class, did not shake hands. However, times have changed and there are now many more women in business and the workplace and so both men and women use the handshake.

Body Language – The Important Part of Communication

2009-04-03T14:37:00.003+06:00

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

The first impression you make can also be a lasting impression. Therefore you need to make sure you get that first impression right.

Having decided what you should wear and how you should look to help you to communicate a more confident image, you also need to be aware of the body language signals you are giving out.

Body language includes:

eye contact and eye movement

distance from others e.g. personal space zone

posture and stance

facial expressions

gestures

Non verbal signals you give out (i.e. body language signals) are said to be four and a half times more powerful than your verbal signals.

Your facial expression is at least eight times more powerful than the spoken word.

Taking time to examine your non-verbal signals, understanding and improving them, fitting them for the occasion and the person/people you are communicating with is time well spent. Also learning what to look for in others can help you understand what is being conveyed.

Tips About Appearance For Attending An Interview and Presentation

2009-04-03T12:53:00.001+06:00

Appearing In An Interview

When attending an interview try to avoid extremes of fashion, no tight or revealing clothing, no strong perfume or aftershave or large jewelery that jangles every time you move - and don’t forget to check those shoes.

Use clothes to assert yourself, choosing the clothes that make you feel confident and that suit you. Be aware of your body shape and clothes that emphasize this or hide it. Learn to play up your strengths and down your weaknesses. Look at buying good accessories.

Trousers should not be too long and hanging over shoes. Neither should they be flying at half-mast, displaying Mickey Mouse socks or, worse, white socks. Shoes in both men and women should match the color of the trousers: brown shoes should not be worn with a dark suit, navy, black or Grey trousers. In women, shoes should be the same color or darker than a skirt, and tights or stockings should also be darker than or of the same color as the skirt.

Whether male or female, if you are wearing trousers that have belt loops then do wear a matching belt. Again, ensure that your trousers sit comfortably on you and that they are not torn in any way. Yes, I have seen a man with trousers torn at the crutch!!

Make sure your clothes fit you and that your shirt or blouse is not straining across your midriff. Also, if wearing a jacket, make sure it fits when fastened.

Appearing In A Presentation

If you are giving a presentation then think of your audience. Adapt your outfit to tone in with your audience. If I am giving a talk to a group of educationalists then I will dress smartly but more informally. I will wear neutral colors that look and feel comfortable and do not threaten the audience. White itself is a neutral color and therefore not particularly threatening unless you associate it with ‘the men in white coats’ coming to take you away, ha, ha! It can, though, sometimes be a bit overpowering and I will often soften my white with a colored scarf.

If I am giving a conference talk to a group of bankers, lawyers or accountants I will always wear a suit, usually navy blue to aid authority. Try not to choose overpowering colors or clothes as that will only overpower your message. You want people to remember you and what you talked about, not what you wore.

Research your audience and adapt your outfit to tone with your audience’s style. If your audience, however, are going to be casually dressed do not tone down your attire completely by wearing jeans and a t-shirt. You need to maintain some authority so you should be dressed casually but smartly.

Never let your appearance overpower your message.

Beware of clothes with bold patterns, and avoid dangling earrings or bracelets that jangle, which will be extremely irritating for the audience, as irritating as a man turning over the loose change in his pocket!

Communicating Clearly In Writing: Important To Achieve Success

2009-04-03T12:22:00.001+06:00

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.”

—Lee Iacocca,
former CEO of Chrysler

What is your game plan, and does your team know it? Just like a coach in sports, you as manager are charged with guiding a team of individuals toward its collective goal. Successful execution depends on your capacity to communicate this game plan clearly.

You need to be sure all team members read from the same playbook. Each player’s role and responsibilities must be meticulously defined. The coaching and instruction you give must be delivered accurately and with the right timing. Nothing good happens if communication falters. A championship-caliber game plan is worthless if the coach sends the wrong signals to the players.

If you are reading this blog to improve your ability to communicate, you obviously see the link between strong communication skills and career success. Here, you will find advice for developing your own “communications playbook.” It is not intended to be exhaustive, and its aim is simple: to provide digestible bites of information to help you gain confidence and master the art of both written and oral communication. No matter how high-tech and diverse communication technologies become, they can reach their full potential only when used by a good writer or speaker.

The Importance To Understand The Code of Color

2009-04-03T11:49:00.001+06:00

The color of your clothes can have a considerable impact on how you are perceived. If you visit your local supermarket and look at the products on the shelves, think about the color of the packaging. Why has that company chosen blue, or green or red? What is the message that color projects? Why do we choose different colors to decorate our homes? The psychology of color also comes into play with our clothes. Not only does it have an impact on how we are perceived but also how we feel.

Have some fun with word associations – throw out a color to a group of people and ask them for their immediate reaction to that color and see what you get back. There may be some very common associations.

Different colors often have different meanings in different cultures, so be aware of this when visiting overseas or doing business abroad.

Whatever colors you choose to wear they should suit you and not drain you: here you might wish to take some expert advice. It could save you a great deal of money in the long run as you no longer waste it on buying clothes that you don’t like once you get them home from the shop.

Let’s look at some colors and see what they mean.

1. Black

In the western world black signifies formal, authority, sober but that isn’t all it means. It is often worn at funerals and old-fashioned villains and witches wore black. Priests wear black to signal submission to God and some fashion experts say that black worn by a woman signifies submission to men! But many women like black because they believe it makes them look slimmer. However, because it is such a heavy color and absorbs light, it has the opposite effect on someone who is not already slim, overpowering them and making them appear bigger and heavier and therefore making others feel rather nervous around them.

We also tend to think black is sophisticated and glamorous. It can be, but only if it suits you. Not everyone looks good in black - in fact I look like death warmed up - it drains me both physically and mentally. Men in black suits, or black pin-striped suits set off by a white shirt, can look quite stunning but they are also giving out an authoritative air. Waiters wear black and white to show they have authority on the restaurant floor and so that they can be recognized as waiters. A smartly turned out waiter or waitress in black and white can add serenity and sobriety not to mention class to a restaurant. But if you are a woman attending an interview and you decide to wear a black suit with a white blouse then beware, it is unlikely you will get the job. Why? Because black and white can be overpowering, aloof and hostile and can therefore threaten the interviewer. If the only suit you own is black and the only blouse white then try and break the harshness of this combination of colors by adding a colored scarf, or for men set it off with a colored tie. Accessories are a lot cheaper than buying a whole new suit.

2. Red

Red signifies energy and physical strength. It also signifies aggression and danger: fire engines are red. I remember reading somewhere that red cars are involved in more accidents than any other color yet red cars are popular. Why? Because red also symbolizes power. It is an intense color and often makes the wearer (or user) feel more confident. But again another word of warning: if you choose to wear red then also choose where and when to wear this color. If you are a woman and you choose to wear a red jacket to work you may find this doesn’t help you in a meeting with your male colleagues. Because it is a power color it may say that you are trying to exert your power over your male colleagues too much. If you are the boss then fine, but if not you may find yourself being isolated or attracting aggression. Men don’t wear red jackets unless they work for Butlers, the holiday and entertainment company. However, men can wear red ties and this will have the same effect as the woman wearing the red jacket. If you are involved in negotiations or conflict situations red might not be the most appropriate color to choose as it signals aggressiveness and your aim might be to gain cooperation.

3. Pink

Pink is a more tranquillizing color, soothing and feminine. All the pastel colors of pink, blue, and lilac symbolize tranquility and femininity. So you are back to deciding who you are seeing and the impression you wish to project. What is the aim of your meeting? If you need to project authority and energy, or perhaps gain promotion or get that job, dressing yourself in pastel colors may not be communicating a very confident and assertive image and this also applies to men wearing pastel colored shirts and ties.

3. Green

Green is the color of nature. It is a calming color but too much green can communicate we are lazy, too relaxed. It is not a very assertive color especially when it becomes a muddy green, which moves towards signifying death. Green is also associated with envy, resentment and possessiveness. Some people hold that it is a color of bad luck and they will not wear it or have it in the house, my mother is one such person, although personally I like it in the home but cannot
wear it, as it does not suit me. In the middle ages, brides wore green as a symbol of fertility.

4. Yellow

This is a bright, sunny, optimistic color. It is associated with the intellectual side of the mind giving out the impression of someone who is clear thinking, has good judgment and able to make decisions. However too much yellow can be overpowering. Yellow can help to build self-confidence, it enhances the concentration and conveys a good organizer but beware of a muddy yellow, which can signify liverish.

5. Blue

Blue inspires mental control and clarity. It is also associated with creativity. It is the color of the sky and ocean. It is peaceful and tranquil but can be cold and aloof. Blue is often a good color to wear to an interview as it symbolizes loyalty and productivity. Studies show that weightlifters are able to lift heavier weights in blue gyms. Too much dark blue however can be depressing.

6. Turquoise

Turquoise is invigorating. It refreshes us, lifts us and is good for stimulating communication, sensitivity and creativity. Funnily enough I often wear turquoise when writing my crime novels.

7. Brown

Brown is a solid reliable color, it is the color of the earth, bringing with it stability. It can also be sad and wistful and can imply narrow mindedness and retreat. Men tend to like brown.

8. Grey

Grey tends to have a negative feeling, as it is associated with poor weather, Grey clouds, Grey sky, heavy and dull. It is neither black nor white, the color therefore of evasion, giving the impression of lack of commitment and loneliness.

By now you’re probably trawling through your wardrobe in despair wondering what colors you can possibly wear! Well, you should:

wear the colors that suit you and enhance your complexion, not the ones that drain you.

wear the colors that make you feel comfortable and confident

choose which colors to wear when and on what occasion.

Your Body Language During Giving Presentation

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Many people are nervous when asked to give a presentation – that is perfectly natural. Your mouth dries up, your hands perspire. The adrenalin rushes in your veins and your heart goes into overdrive. Your contracting stomach robs you of hunger (though afterwards you’ll be ravenous), your legs tremble and your voice becomes strained. When we are faced with what we believe is a hostile or difficult situation we experience the Flight or Fight syndrome. Your body will prepare itself to either fight the situation or run away from it. Your body can take control but you mustn’t allow it too completely. You don’t want to eliminate nervousness because you need a certain amount to help you give a better performance – some great actors still suffer terrible stage fright before they perform – so being nervous is natural. It is controlling these nerves that is important.

American researchers asked 3,000 people what they feared most – 40 per cent gave speaking before a large audience as the affliction they most dreaded.

One of the greatest fears that people have is that all eyes are on them when they stand to resent. Soinstead of thinking about all those people looking at you, you need to reverse it – you must think of yourself as giving out to those people. You must feel (and tell yourself) that it is you who is in control. Also be aware that potentially the audience is more nervous than you are! They want you to be good. They want you to succeed.

Overcoming nervousness

To help overcome nervousness, especially right at the beginning when it is worse, the trick is to divert eyes from you.

Two ways of doing this are:

Put up a visual and ask people to look at it. That way you can chat quite happily about what is on the chart without people looking at you

Start with a question to the audience, for example, if your talk is about the increase in violence you could ask, ‘How many of you here today are worried about violence in the community?’ Hands go up. Then, ‘The gentleman in the blue jacket, what particularly worries you?’ All eyes are now on him. You can carry on this technique by asking another person in the audience for their opinion.

Use questions and flip charts to get involvement and draw attention away from you.

When your speech begins stand slowly, keep your hand movements slow and deliberate. Smile. Keep smiling. Let your eyes rove the audience. Don’t hurry. Come out to the front, smile, open your arms in a welcome gesture.

As you start to speak look at everybody in the room. With small groups acknowledge each one with eye contact. With larger groups you’ll have spots where you should rest your eyes for a moment and then sweep on to the next. These spots should be dotted around the auditorium. If you don’t make eye contact with the back of the hall it is unlikely that your voice will reach the back row either.

Do not be tempted into giving your talk to the only friendly face and ignore the rest. You need to make good steady eye contact with those who look bored and cynical. This takes courage but it works. Someonewho appears downright awkward and resistant in an audience can be looking like this because they feel superior to everyone else and/or because the subject is threatening. By making extra eye contact with them they start to feel that you are acknowledging their significance and they feel less threatened because they trust you.

Don’t hide behind a lectern or table. It will create a barrier. Equally don’t talk to the wall or the flip chart or walk up and down, sway, or keep rising on your toes.

With a large audience the personal space zone is about twelve feet, drawing inwards with smaller audiences.

Watch out for those mannerisms like scratching, rubbing your nose, pulling ears, turning over your loose change in your pockets and fastening and unfastening your jacket.

Always stand rather than sit. Your energy level is different when you stand and you look more powerful. If you are giving a long talk or a training session always stand at the outset to establish authority. When you want to gain confidence and be more like one of the audience then you can sit, i.e. during question and answer sessions.

Don’t stand with your hands folded in front of the body in the vicar/fig leaf position or clasped behind your back like a policeman! In the drawing opposite our man has his legs firmly planted apart and a smile on his face with head tilted back, this tends to make him look superior.

Your Appearance – The Critical Part of You

2009-04-03T10:56:00.000+06:00

Most of us are familiar with makeover programs on the television and articles in magazines where a man or a woman is given a new look. Often the results can be quite startling and the individual feels elated. We all get stuck in a rut, buying familiar styles and colors that we feel comfortable with. There is nothing wrong with this but from time to time it does us good to reassess ourselves and to consider the impression we’re giving out to others; is it the right impression?

If we try and wear the same clothes at forty as we did at sixteen (if they still fit us) how do you think that would look? Yes, pretty foolish I think. The way to feel and look younger is not to embrace the latest fashion fads, nor to stick with those tired old clothes we found so invigorating when young but to reassess our appearance as we get older and find styles, colours and clothes that suit us and can reflect our personalities; clothes that are timeless and stylish and of the best quality we can afford and hence give us a boost in confidence.

Over the years our skin tone changes, so too does our hair colour. Our shape alters and because of these changes our clothes, make up, hairstyle all need to change.

By changing clothes, hairstyle etc. you can feel completely different, often rejuvenated and your body language and communication style will therefore also change. You feel, look and act differently. People will then respond to you differently.

Research conducted by Professor Albert Mehrabian, a psychologist, showed that our decisions about the people we meet are based on the following:

55 per cent what we see

38 per cent what we hear

7 per cent the words we are speaking

We’re going to take each of these in the following writing, examine them and see how we can use them to communicate a more confident image. But first what we need to understand the importance of our appearance.

Strategy To Set Your Body Language Before Interviews

2009-04-03T00:22:00.001+06:00

Interviews make us nervous so taking time to prepare for an interview will go some way to easing those nerves.

Make sure that you are wearing the right clothes and that you are well groomed, and don’t forget those shoes – they need to be clean and well heeled.

Get the right inner voice

I can handle this
I am confident
I have prepared well for this interview
I know my strengths and weaknesses and I will give it my best shot.

NOT To Do

I hate interviews
I’m sure I’m going to fail
There are going to be far more qualified/experienced people than me
I know I won’t be able to answer any of their questions
I know I won’t get the job

If you hear any of these destructive voices in your head then SILENCE them and convert them to a positive inner dialogue.

Tell yourself that you are confident, put your shoulders back, open your chest, hold your head up, smile. Shake hands if the interviewer offers his/her hand and remember that your handshake should be dry and firm, taking the whole hand. Give good eye contact.

Sit when invited to do so. If you are being interviewed by a panel you may have your chair positioned some distance away from the interviewers. This can be very daunting but maintain that positive inner voice. The panel can see all your body language gestures so ensure you keep your body language open, legs uncrossed, arms and hands resting lightly in front of you on your lap or on the arms of the chair. Keep your body language movements to a minimum but you can angle your body to the speaker/questioner.

Sit upright, look and be alert. Sit forward to convey real interest. Keep your eyes on the speaker, moving eye contact to the person who is asking you questions if there is more than one interviewer and then, when you have answered, sweeping your eye contact to the rest of the panel. Remember to smile if you can.

Don’t

slouch;
look down at your hands,
out of the window,
at the ceiling
fold your arms tightly across your body.

In interviews don’t threaten the interviewer’s personal space by invading it. I saw this happen once when an interviewee lunged across a dividing table at the interviewer who sprang back and completely forgot what she was going to ask. Needless to say the applicant didn’t get the job.

We often place a barrier in front of us to mark our personal space. Behind this barrier we feel comfortable and safe. We can also feel superior. Interviewers and bosses do this, which is not always a good interviewing tactic or one for team building, as you cannot get to know the other person with a barrier between you. Doctors used to do this but many no longer do so. However some medical consultants still use this as a way of clearly defining the patient– doctor relationship. Do not put anything on the interviewer’s desk or table without asking permission first and that also goes for the sales interview. The desk or table is their territory and you are invading it if you don’t ask their permission.

Personal space: What Is The Meaning?

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A word about personal space before we move onto interviewing and presentations body language. Personal space is the distance you feel comfortable with when meeting or reacting with another person. It varies from country to country between individuals and genders, and in different situations. For example, the Italians and French have a much closer personal space distance and are more tactile than the British or Germans. The Japanese and Chinese have closer body space zones and in India the personal space zone is practically non-existent.

In Britain the personal space distance is about three feet hence the old saying ‘keep them at arm’s length’, which is approximately three feet. This is why we often feel uncomfortable when someone sits next to us on a bus or train, or at a seminar. It is why we put our bags or briefcases on the seat beside us; we are creating and establishing our own personal space. In crowded places like trains or the Underground in rush hour, or a crowded lift, it is not possible to have the
personal space we like around us. In these situations people will often not look at one another but will look at the ceiling or the floor, and/or they will angle their body language away from the other person. Where this is not always possible you will find that we keep our body language movements down to a minimum, keeping very still.

Those we like and know we will allow closer to us.

In the networking situation previously described we need to keep personal space distance between us. If someone we don’t know very well gets too close then we tend to back off.

Cloths: Represent You To Others

2009-04-02T11:03:00.001+06:00

People will form an impression of you based on what you are wearing.

Of course that sounds extremely shallow and it is. That impression may be completely wrong but whether you like it or not it is a fact of life that your appearance says a great deal about you.

But it is no good creating a false impression, the one you project needs to reflect who you are and what you are capable of. You need to be comfortable with your image and that only comes with being comfortable with who you are inside.

If you choose to mirror someone else image or style, a well known singer or celebrity for example, then you are bound to be disappointed because you can never be like them. You are a different person with a different shape, style and personality.

You are you and you need to be proud of that and confident in yourself to project it.

If you choose to dress ‘outrageously’ then that is your choice, however you must be prepared for reactions you may get from others, which could vary from hilarity to alienation.

We all have our ‘uniforms’, suits for the office, green Wellingtons, Barbours and checked shirts for the country, designer clothes, leathers for the motorbike riders. Some of these uniforms are donned because they are practical. You wouldn’t wear an evening suit on a country walk, would you? But uniforms also have another purpose, they show you belong and belonging to a group is part of a human need. By dressing outside that group’s norm you are signaling that you don’t belong and can therefore feel and indeed be isolated. I am sure most of you reading this book can identify a time when you wore the wrong clothes to a function and felt awful and out of place. Perhaps you were too casually dressed for the occasion, or overdressed.

Clothes also affect the way we feel and therefore our body language. For example you move very differently if dressed in glamorous evening attire as opposed to a tracksuit, or in a suit as opposed to jeans.

If your clothes are old, worn, tatty and dirty, what impression is that giving out? What is this saying to others? How does it make you feel?

If your clothes are clean and tidy what impression are you projecting? How do you feel? You may not be able to afford the top quality designer wear or the most expensive clothes, but there is no excuse for looking dirty or scruffy, as my dear father used to say and he had very little money and used to buy his clothes from charity shops. You can find some great bargains in charity shops and at the same time know you are helping a worthwhile cause. So you don’t need a fortune in order to look good.

You can also do wonders with a needle and sewing machine or with knitting needles; you can make the latest designer fashions very cheaply. I am both an amateur dressmaker and knitter, not a very good one, but practice makes perfect and it is a very enjoyable and rewarding pastime. You can make children’s clothes very cheaply as well as your own and you can look good and individual.

If your clothes are rather on the old side because perhaps you can’t afford new ones then maybe you can update them slightly (with that needle and thread) or you can take them to a dressmaker or tailor who can update them for you.

Whatever you do, do ensure that your clothes are clean and well pressed. Try not to wear shirts with frayed necks and cuffs unless you really don’t care what impression you give out, or you have the inner confidence and personality to carry it off.

Different nationalities have their own ‘uniform’ and customs, be aware of this and don’t let it prejudice the way you communicate.

Giving some careful consideration to the impression you wish to convey and the objectives you wish to achieve can help you to choose the right clothes.

This is a quote taken from my local newspaper from a woman who was interested in meeting a partner and was going to local pubs, and social functions with that aim.

‘I spoke to a couple of men but because I was wearing quite a low cut top they spent time talking to my cleavage rather than to me!’

Well there’s a surprise! If this woman was really serious about meeting someone she could have a conversation with, and who was interested in her as a person then perhaps she shouldn’t have had so much cleavage on view?

At work the general rule for women in the western business world is: the more flesh you show the less credible you are. If you arrive at the office dressed for the disco, in the tightest, skimpiest clothes you can find then how do you think the hot-blooded men around you are going to react?

Of course they are. That may be your intended desire to inflame some passions but make sure you don’t get your fingers burnt. I’ve lost count of the number of times women have said to me in my career, ‘Why aren’t I taken seriously?’ I’ve simply told them to take a long hard look in the mirror at what they’re wearing to the office and think about the effect it has on their male colleagues. And what about men in the workplace? Well they’ve got their suit, haven’t they? But times have changed and are changing. There are now many more dress options for men going to work from the smart to the smart casual and casual-casual. Just how casual do you dress on a Friday dress down day? That interview you are attending – what is the dress code of that particular company? Will you be overdressed in a suit and tie when everyone wears open necked shirts and chinos? Do you wear colored shirts or a white shirt? I once did some work for a company where the Managing Director told me he wouldn’t employ anyone wearing a colored shirt!

Before attending an interview perhaps it would be advisable to telephone the company and ask if they have a dress code and what it is.

If you aspire to a management position then you should always dress the part. In fact you should always dress for the next level up and not the level you currently hold if you wish to be noticed and considered. This does not always mean adopting a formal style of dressing because it depends on the industry you are working in and the ‘uniform’ or ‘dress code’ within that industry.

Do make sure your shoes are clean and that goes for both men and women. I have sat in on a number of sales presentations, promotion and job interviews when a candidate has ruined his/her overall impression by having dirty or scuffed, shoddy shoes. This can be all it takes to cause you to fail. Interviews can be nerve racking and difficult as it is without adding to it by neglecting your appearance.

Choosing what to wear to work, for a sales presentation or job interview can sometimes be a difficult choice, particularly so for women who have more scope for error than men because they have more choice.

So ask yourself:

Where am I going?

Why am I going there?

What is the normal dress code or uniform for

that occasion or group of people?

What impression do I wish to project?

What should I wear?

Building Confidence

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Acting more confidently begins with thinking more confidently.

Your brain is a very powerful organ, it sends messages to your body, and those messages are relayed to other people through your body language i.e. how you walk, sit, stand, your facial expressions and eye contact etc. Therefore, if you think that your point of view is useless and that nobody will be interested in listening to you, if you feel afraid, or you see yourself as inferior then this will be relayed to other people through your body language and, because those are the signals they are receiving, they in turn will view you in exactly that light. It is a vicious circle that you need to break and one which you can break.

If you can learn to think more highly of yourself then others will think more highly of you.

Constructive Criticism And Handling Criticism In Personal Life

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Giving constructive criticism

If you need to give criticism then check it is specific and not a personal attack.

‘Chris, I’ve noticed your sales figures have been low these last two months why is that?’

Not, ‘Chris, you’d better pull your socks up and get some more sales otherwise it’ll be curtains for you.’

Don’t jump to conclusions; they might be the wrong ones. Chris’s sales figures might be low because he has personal problems or ill health. The why question is vital in case of criticism.

Give the other person the chance to reflect on it and state his case. You can then go on to ask for suggestions to bring about desired change, for example, ‘What are your ideas for improving this?’

Handling criticism in a personal relationship

Women, generally speaking, are much more vocal about their criticism than men when it comes to personal relationships. This has its roots in the fact that women like to voice their feelings and emotions, preferring to get them out into the open and discuss them whereas men prefer to retreat into themselves, into their ‘cave’. When a man refuses to discuss a problem or respond to a criticism he can often be accused by a woman of trying to wriggle out of it.

In a healthy relationship both men and women should be able to express their criticisms openly, without fear or anger or upsetting the other person, but all too often, in the heat of the moment, criticism when it comes can be construed as a personal attack. This leaves the person on the receiving end feeling bitter, angry, hurt and upset. If the criticism is also given in a hostile or bitter tone of voice, and/or is accompanied by a look of contempt or loathing, then the person on the receiving end is going to be deeply wounded. If this forms a continual pattern over a period of time then the danger signs are that one partner has made a judgement about the other for the worse which can result in that partner either fighting back (sparks will fly) or stonewalling, (generally a man’s response), retreating into silence. This in turn can lead to the eventual
break-up of the relationship.

One partner in this relationship will begin to feel that he or she is the innocent victim of the criticism and that the other person is always picking on them, which can result in that person experiencing a feeling of righteous indignation – ‘how dare he/she?’- fuelling anger. Once these thoughts become an automatic response they are self-confirming: the partner who feels victimized will be scanning everything for some hidden slight to confirm the view, thereby poisoning the relationship until the break-up.

But it needn’t get this far if we can learn to handle criticism in a healthy way. Having an inner confidence and good self-esteem can help but also when you feel inclined to criticize your partner, before you do so stop and think.

For men, when your partner/wife criticizes you don’t side-step it or stonewall it but look upon it as a way of improving the relationship. It is not a personal attack but a means of saying ‘what do we need to do/change to make this situation/ relationship better?’ Listen to her and empathize, don’t rush in to solve the problem.

And for women, examine the nature of your criticism and make it less of a personal attack and more a constructive criticism over what was done, the action or activity rather than the person.

For both, before criticizing or being irritated by what the other person has done or said counteract this with the good things about that person: recall their generosity, kindness, loving, thoughtfulness, fun etc.

Fundamental to successful communication is the ability to understand others. Being able to enter into their inner world, see things from their frame of reference and agree its validity from their perspective.

We cannot communicate more confidently without looking first at ourselves.

Criticism: The Most Common Thing In Life

2009-04-01T21:56:00.002+06:00

Criticism is always difficult to take no matter how pleasantly given and very often we can take it personally, especially if it is not given in a constructive manner or the person giving the criticism is not skilled in this, which, let’s face it, few of us are. So how should we handle criticism if we are on the receiving end?

Let’s take an example of the mother-in-law who constantly criticizes her daughter-in-law. She finds fault with her physical appearance, the way she manages the children, the food she cooks for her family, her housekeeping ability and so on, undermining her daughter-in-law’s self-confidence until she dreads going anywhere near her mother-in-law. Her husband doesn’t help as he lets the criticism go unchecked, causing friction in the marriage.

So let’s try looking at this from a number of angles.

The daughter-in-law – we’ll call her Carol – thinks the mother-in-law is a dragon, but instead of facing up to her and dealing confidently with the problem herself she attacks her husband, Michael, accusing him of being weak, uncaring and unloving towards her. Michael feels threatened by his wife’s accusations, unhappy and torn between his mother and his wife and inadequate that he cannot face up to either, so he adopts the tactic of shrugging both off, believing that if he ignores the problem it will go away! Of course it doesn’t: it only gets worse over the years.

So, before Carol plucks up courage to tackle her mother-in-law she needs to give some thought as to why her mother-in-law is behaving like this. What are her attitudes, values, pressures, thoughts and feelings?

Well she could be:

jealous because she has lost her son to a rival

resentful because Carol has taken her son away from her

resentful because Carol and Michael have a better chance at happiness than she ever had

jealous because Carol has more freedom than she had and more opportunities

afraid – at being left on her own

lonely

frustrated because she has never fulfilled her own true potential

disappointed – because she expected great things from her son and he has married too early and beneath her expectations (no matter how unrealistic).

So many things may be influencing the mother-in-law and these may have festered over the years and got blown up out of all proportion because she has never been able to express her emotions and communicate them effectively. If Carol can go into this exchange understanding or at least trying to see where her mother-in-law is coming from, or why she is behaving as she is, it will help her deal with it.

If you are on the receiving end of criticism from a relative or friend, like Carol, or from someone at work, then first consider that the other person has a right to criticize you. If you do not do this then you will behave aggressively. If Carol is thinking ‘What right has my mother-in-law got to criticize me?’ then she will behave aggressively towards her mother-in-law.

However, if you accept they have the right to criticize you then you will also want them to accept that you have rights. The right not to be put down, not to be made to look small or to be subjected to personal attacks; also that you have a right for that criticism to be made in private rather than in front of colleagues or others. Here are some tips to help you deal with this.

If you are unclear about the meaning of the criticism then ask the other person for clarification.

I find this particularly helpful because asking them what they mean gives me time to get the right mindset and to think of my reply. It also means they have to repeat themselves and people rarely say the same thing twice. Say something like, ‘I’d find it helpful, Mary, if you could give me some examples of what you mean.’ Not ‘What the devil do you mean by that!’

Try and separate in your mind the content of the criticism and the way it is given. If this has happened before, say, ‘I accept that your criticism is valid, Laura, but I’d prefer it if you made it less of a personal attack.’

If you disagree with the criticism then say so. Again use the ‘I’ statement, ‘As I see it, that is not what happened’ or ‘My view is different.’ This is a technique that Carol should adopt with her mother-in-law. Maintain steady eye contact. Keep your voice up, rather than letting it sink, but don’t get high-pitched, ‘I don’t believe that!’

Internal Factors That Judge Each Others

2009-04-01T20:39:00.003+06:00

We know, we are judging others when we meet with others. We judge about their presence, personality, dressing, and also try to identify different criteria of that person during the time we meet with them. The basic judgment is completed by some internal factors that influence us to do so.

To have success in communication, we must need to know the factors with which others will evaluate me and my traits. Because, if we know the factors, then we can work with those factors for our improvement in communication skill.

These internal factors, as I call them, are persons:

Attitudes and perceptions

Values and pressures

Prejudices and preconceived ideas

Attitudes and perceptions

We need to be aware that the people we meet will come fully programmed with their own attitudes and their perceptions of us. Likewise we will have ours of them. This could, if not recognized and accepted, influence the exchange between us.

Poor managers often fail to recognize this. They tend to think that other people have the same attitude asthem i.e. they are ambitious and want promotion. The manager may be motivated by reaching goals and receiving monetary rewards – isn’t everyone? No, of course they’re not, we are all different. Different people are motivated in different ways.*

So what forms our attitudes? Well, our exposure to previous experiences, information about that person, or even ‘type of person’, or the situation in which we are meeting them can all form our attitudes.

Values And Pressure

We all develop values, a frame of reference through which we see the world and the way things are. We love to categorize people, to think in stereotypes, because it helps us to place a value on ourselves and gives credence to the world in which we live. Of course, this stereotyping can, and often is, completely inaccurate and hence the way we communicate can be wrong from the start.

This can often be seen in industrial relations, the ‘them’ and ‘us’ scenario. Trade unions are greedy or bullying and management exploitative and selfish. In the so called ‘professions’ lawyers, accountants and teachers are often referred to as ‘professionals’ while secretaries and clerks are often referred to as ‘support staff’. Categorizing makes identification easier; if we know the other person’s status then we know how to communicate with them, don’t we? Wrong.

The more open-minded you can be when communicating with another person and the more you can see their viewpoint through their values (which may not be yours at all) the more you can understand them and perhaps engage the right tactics i.e. expressions, body language, voice, and vocabulary to relate to them.

Prejudices

We also inherit prejudices and beliefs from our parents, guardians, teachers, religious leaders, friends and many others. Perhaps we have been ‘conditioned’ not to like or understand people who are from a different culture? Perhaps we have been ‘conditioned’ to believe we are superior to others because of our education or social standing. Or we may be prejudiced towards someone because of his or her gender or his or her size. If this is so then we take those prejudices with us when we meet someone face-to-face and these prejudices can influence the whole exchange between us and that person and as a result we may be patronizing or hostile towards them.

It is hard to clear your mind of prejudices before meeting someone because instinctively, as I mentioned before, we try and place people in order to give us a framework for reacting with them, but that framework can be very wonky to begin with.

We are also influenced or conditioned by what we read and see in the media. Women are meant to behave in this way, men in that way, we should look tall, small, thin, beautiful and so on … It is no wonder we’re confused most of the time. Finding yourself and being comfortable with who you are is an important part of becoming a more confident communicator.

Preconceived ideas

We may have preconceived ideas about the person we are communicating with because we have been told something about them. This has happened to me many times in the course of my career. I may be conducting a training course, giving a seminar or going to a meeting and someone has told me to look out for so and so because they are really difficult and hostile. This could color my view of that person if I allowed it to. I might go into the meeting really worried about dealing with that person or thinking, ‘I’ll handle them, they won’t get the better of me’, and therefore act aggressively towards them before they have even had a chance to speak! Or I might be thinking, ‘I hope they’ll be all right. What if I can’t handle them?’ and therefore I might behave submissively, giving out a poor impression and allowing myself to be walked all over.

What usually happens is the ‘difficult person’ is no trouble at all. They are not difficult with me, not because they’ve suddenly changed overnight but because I have not allowed any preconceived ideas to interfere with the way I have communicated with them. I have kept an open mind and tried to listen to them and understand where they are coming from.

Sometimes the circumstances in which you meet someone, the location and/or the status of the person you are meeting will influence you. If a top movie star walked into the room how would you behave? If you were introduced to the Queen of England or the President of the United States of America would you be overawed? I would be and as a result I might burble away talking nonsense or I might completely clam up. That would be quite understandable in the circumstances. But sometimes it needn’t be anyone that famous: it could be the boss of your company; it could be your mother-in-law, or father-in-law who you perceive to be, ‘better’ than you.

If you allow this thought process to continue unchecked then it will eat away at your confidence and affect how you feel towards them and ultimately how you behave and communicate towards them.

No one is better than you. Everyone is different. Value your individuality.

The Factors That Influence Us When We Meet With Others

2009-04-01T19:56:00.002+06:00

Whenever we meet with someone, their are some aspects about the person that picked up by us. The total process is done by us unintentionally. We, in many cases, have less control in this situation.

I have prepared a list which contains the factors that influence us when we meet with others:

1. Appearance, which includes

Clothes

Adornments

Body piercing and tattoos

Hygiene – smell

Clean/dirty

2. Body Language, which includes

Eye contact

Handshake

Posture

Facial expressions

3. Voice, which includes

Accent

Tone of voice

Pitch and pace of voice

Enthusiasm in the voice

4. Words: Our Vocabulary – the actual words we choose to use.

5. Age

6. Size

7. Height

8. Gender

9. Race

10. Religion

11. Culture

12. Disability

13. Behavior: Yours and the other person’s

Manners

Attitude

Aggressiveness

Submissiveness

Assertiveness

14. Personality

15. Preconceived ideas about that person

16. Situation and location

17. Prejudices – yours and theirs

18. Education

19. Upbringing

20. Experiences

21. Status of the other person

It’s quite a list, isn’t it? And perhaps you came up with more! Looking at this is it no wonder we have ‘communication breakdowns?’ Perhaps you can also begin to see the logic of me saying that communication begins and ends with you.

In order to influence others you need to:

plan how to interact with the other person

have a greater awareness of other people

be more sensitive towards their emotions and attitudes

carefully observe other people

have a greater self-knowledge

First impressions can often be the wrong impression

When we meet someone we make a decision about that person within the space of milliseconds. That decision can be terribly flawed because it can be influenced by many of the factors previously stated. How many times have you seen someone on your television, or heard them on the radio, and immediately thought ’That person really irritates me’, or ‘I don’t like that person because he’s got a beard and I don’t like men with beards’, (no offense intended towards men with beards) or ‘Her voice really grates on me, I don’t like her’.

You’ve never met this person and yet you have formed an opinion about them based on what you see and hear and your own preconceived ideas. The person you ‘hate’, or to put it less strongly, you ‘dislike’ may in fact be a very warm, kind, loving individual who, if you are given the opportunity to meet, you might actually like!

Politicians know the strength of this kind of reactionand often they change the way they speak, look and behave in order to win votes. Margaret Thatcher, one time Prime Minister of Great Britain, lowered her voice and slowed down the pace of her speech to make her sound more authoritative and more caring. This is why actors sometimes make good politicians: because they are able to ‘play the part’ using their acting skills. These days votes aren’t necessarily won on who has the best policies but who looks and sounds the best, or who appears the most sincere, trustworthy, honest …

I am not advocating that politicians dupe people or that they, or you, set out to do the same just that you need to be fully aware of the power of external impressions on communicating an image.

Good Communication Starts Where?

2009-04-01T19:45:00.001+06:00

Good communication starts within us.

As I have already said confident communicators are self-confident people who have good self-esteem. They believe they are worth being listened to and they like to hear the views and opinions of others. They are able to both take and give criticism without feeling inadequate and hurt. They are assertive people who are able to express themselves without getting angry or upset and who encourage others to express their feelings and views.

If you have just read the above paragraph and are thinking ‘That isn’t me at all’, then please don’t despair and don’t stop reading because you can develop self-confidence and improve your self-esteem, and you can adopt various techniques shown in this place to help you do this, and to convince others that you look more confident than you feel.

The Situation Where Confident Communication Extend Support

2009-04-01T19:36:00.002+06:00

Communicating is at the heart of all good management. You cannot be an effective manager unless you know how to communicate confidently in whatever circumstances; this can be either on a one-to-one basis, with your team, or indeed if you are a senior manager or a director, to the entire organization. Their are some situation, in professional as well as personal life, where you can achieve success through using your skill of Confident Communication.

In general, Confident Communication support us in:

a one-to-one staff interview

at an appraisal interview

at a work review interview

at a disciplinary interview

at a counseling interview

when dealing with a difficult member of staff

when giving motivational feedback

when giving a job interview

when conducting a coaching interview

when introducing changes and new policies at team meetings and briefings

when giving presentations

when handling customer complaints

If you are a salesperson you need confident communication in order to win the contract or sale.

If you are going for a promotion interview or a job interview you will need to communicate confidently in order to succeed.

If you are seeking to improve your relationships with your friends, family or partner you can do so through improving your communication skills.

So, its a big list of situation, where we can have benefit from confident communication in our life.

The Benefits of Confident Communication

2009-04-01T19:29:00.002+06:00

If the person who is communicating with you has all the above qualities how will you feel on the receiving end? Yes, valued and appreciated. This obviously has many benefits in the workplace.

The Simple Set of Benefits Can be as observing:

increased productivity

better team working

fewer mistakes and therefore more cost saving

less stress

less conflict

fewer rumors

better motivation

greater profits

a happier workforce.

The benefits of good communication in your personallife can mean:

fewer misunderstandings and therefore fewer rows

greater cooperation

more friends and an enhanced social life

improved relationships

It’s got to be worth giving it a go, hasn’t it? So if you’ve got this far and you want the rewards that come from being a more confident communicator, Keep reading my blogs here.

The Factors That Makes A Person Confident Communicator

2009-04-01T19:22:00.003+06:00

Think for a moment of the people you believe to have been, or to be, confident communicators. These may be people you know either in your personal life or at work. They may be individuals you have heard speaking at a seminar or conference that you foundinspirational. They may be people you have heard and seen on television, for example celebrities, personalities, and political leaders. Think about Winston Churchill and Martin Luther King both very powerful and confident communicators. What was it about these men that made them powerful communicators?

Draw up a list of all the ingredients of a confident communicator. How many did you come up with?

Now look at my list below.

A confident communicator is someone who:

knows his strengths and weaknesses

has high self-esteem

knows his subject matter

has lots of energy, passion and enthusiasm (this doesn’t mean to say he is hyperactive but communicates enthusiasm for his subject)

has a clear voice

is firm and persuasive

uses words that his listener can relate to

tailors his message to his audience

has good body language

has good listening skills

has good questioning and summarizing skills

makes you feel valued, appreciated and comfortable

has a sense of empathy with his listener

has an open mind and is able to encourage a free flow of ideas

gives a considered response when needed

is able to build rapport and adapt his approach depending on who he is talking to.

You can already see from the above that it takes quite a lot to make a confident communicator. But practice is the ultimate key which makes thing perfect.

How We Speak- The Basic Question We Need To Ask

2009-04-01T11:24:00.001+06:00

Cast your mind back to those first impressions.

55 per cent is based on what we see (appearance and body language)
38 per cent on how we speak
7 per cent on the actual words we are speaking.

We have examined the 55 per cent ‘what we see’ and to some extent the 7 per cent when we looked at building our conversations but there is more to it than this, and a great deal more to how we speak, plus some fundamental differences between what he says and what she says.

We also need to understand the structure of how we speak. This can be described in three stages.

descriptive
reflective
speculative

For example we might say:

‘Nice day’ (Descriptive)

‘Better than yesterday’ ( Reflective)

‘I wonder if it will last?’ (Speculative)

Now there are some differences between the way men and women use this structure. When men talk they often miss out the reflective stage i.e. the ‘better than yesterday’ part. So their conversation might go something like this: ‘Nice day, hope it lasts.’ Whereas when women speak they often miss out the speculative phase i.e. the ‘I wonder if it will last?’ part. So their conversation might go something like this: ‘Nice day, isn’t it? Better than yesterday.’ This has implications for communication in the workplace and of course in personal relationships. An example. In a meeting when there is a problem to be solved, or some procedure or matter is up for discussion, men will often launch straight into the solution, or they might state the problem and then launch into the solution, missing out the reflective part of the total.

For example: ‘As I see it we’ve got a problem meeting these delivery dates so what we’ll do is alter the production schedule.’ Whereas a woman might say ‘As I see it we have a problem meeting these delivery dates because we’ve overstretched ourselves taking on the South African order.’ She misses out the speculative stage, i.e. the solution. Or: He says, ‘Staff motivation is a real problem in this office, what we’ll do is take everyone out on a teambuilding day.’ She says, ‘Staff motivation is a real problem in this office, that’s because we can never get to talk things through with management and we feel that we really don’t matter at all.’ When a man hears this he is thinking ‘I know there’s a problem with staff motivation: why doesn’t she suggest a solution?’ Or ‘I know we’ve got a problem with delivery dates but what’s her solution?’ He will then try and solve the problem by saying, ‘OK, if the staff feel like that why don’t we all get together for a teambuilding day!’ But she says, ‘No, that’s not the issue.’ ‘Well what is?’ he replies irritably. ‘We need to discuss why we have poor motivation.’ ‘I don’t want discussions I want to know how we can solve it,’ he snaps. Men ask how first – women ask why.

Sometimes men miss out the descriptive stage in their speech altogether and go straight to the speculative i.e. the solutions. For example he comes into the meeting and says, ‘Right, what we’re going to do is bring forward production.’ Or ‘OK, I’ve arranged for us all to go on a team building day.’ The women are thinking – why? In addition they feel disorientated because he hasn’t followed the stages of speech, which they prefer. Understanding these differences can help us to improve our communication skills both at work and in our personal lives. Because women like to go through the stages of speech men should give them more time to explain themselves and then should prompt for the solution i.e. the speculative. Women need to train themselves to think through to a solution or solutions to the problem and then be confident enough to offer them.

Shape Your Inner Voice To Achieve Success

2009-04-01T10:41:00.001+06:00

After talking about your own self-esteem, let’s look at what else stands in your way - your inner
voice. What is it saying to you? Is it a positive one or a negative one?

For example, you might be saying: ‘It’s all right for her, she had a good education, of course she is more confident than me.’
Or ‘He’s only got to the top because he sucked up to the boss’, or ‘... his father owns the company’, or ‘... he’s cleverer than I am’.

The above are faulty inner dialogues – they are hostile and embittered and focus on you. If you don’t correct them then they will affect your body language and therefore the signals you are giving out to other people so that in turn you behave aggressively; i.e. you look, move and sound surly, or bitter, your expression is hard and resentful, you may make cryptic remarks and snide comments. Is this the sort of person you want to be? How do you think others will react to you? Would you want to be around a person like this and would you be willing to do as they asked? I doubt it.

Or instead of getting aggressive you may become submissive. If you are constantly comparing yourself to others and you are coming off the worse, you are constantly putting yourself down. Or you may be allowing yourself to wallow in self-pity. Your self-esteem will be low and your body language will be become hunched and withdrawn. You want to fade into the background and not be noticed. Will you take the initiative and forge new relationships? Will other people be inspired to cooperate with you? Of course they won’t.

You may be dealing with someone who is rude or difficult and your inner dialogue may be saying something like, ‘I wish that person wasn’t so difficult, they’re a right pain in the …’ ‘I can’t stand that person. I wish they would see my point of view, or act like me.’

When you hear these negative, prejudiced voices say STOP. Then get a more positive dialogue going. Here are some to help you:

I have an open mind.

I will treat this person fairly.

I can keep calm.

I am interested in this person and what they have to say.

I may not agree with this person but he/she has a right to his/her point of view.

I may not like this person but I can treat him decently and fairly.

If any of these phrases are going through your head what signals do you think your body language is giving out?

Yes, you will be looking at the other person, giving them good eye contact. Your facial expression will be relaxed and interested. You may even have your head on one side as you listen to them. Your posture will be upright, but not stiff, open and relaxed, you may even be leaning more

Try smiling at a difficult person, genuinely smiling; try saying something nice to them instead of getting upset or hostile. Think of them rather than focusing on what hurts and upsets you. Take your difficult person by surprise by complimenting them. I am not promising that it will work every time but it will make you feel better.

Remember: you cannot change another person; you can only change yourself. By changing the way you think, act and interact with others you will change the response you receive in return.

Thinking more confidently may take some time and indeed some practice but it will help you to communicate more confidently.

Barriers to Effective Communication

2009-04-01T10:34:00.003+06:00

There are a wide number of sources of noise or interference that can enter into the communication process. This can occur when people now each other very well and should understand the sources of error. In a work setting, it is even more common since interactions involve people who not only don't have years of experience with each other, but communication is complicated by the complex and often conflictual relationships that exist at work.

In a normal work environment, the following barriers can play critical role for communication

Language: The choice of words or language in which a sender encodes a message will influence the quality of communication. Because language is a symbolic representation of a phenomenon, room for interpretation and distortion of the meaning exists. In the above example, the Boss uses language (this is the third day you've missed) that is likely to convey far more than objective information. To Terry it conveys indifference to her medical problems. Note that the same words will be interpreted different by each different person.
Defensiveness, distorted perceptions, guilt, project, transference, distortions from the past.
Misreading of body language, tone and other non-verbal forms of communication.
Noisy transmission (unreliable messages, inconsistency)
Receiver distortion: selective hearing, ignoring non-verbal cues
Power struggles
Self-fulfilling prophecy
Assumptions-eg. assuming others see situation same as you, have same feelings as you.
Distrusted source, erroneous translation, value judgment, state of mind of 2 people
Perceptual Biases: People attend to stimuli in the environment in very different ways. We each have shortcuts that we use to organize data. Invariably, these shortcuts introduce some biases into communication. Some of these shortcuts include stereotyping, projection, and self-fulfilling prophecies. Stereotyping is one of the most common.
Interpersonal Relationships: How we perceive communication is affected by the past experience with the individual. Perception is also affected by the organizational relationship two people have. For example, communication from a superior may be perceived differently than that from a subordinate or peer.
Cultural Differences
Majority of meaning comes from Nonverbal Communication Cues.

BASIC: Strategy To Manage Conflict

2009-04-01T10:23:00.003+06:00

Sometimes, conflict can be happened in our professional work as well as our personal life. We need to know the technique to manage the conflicts. As it's normal to have some conflicts and a smart professional will always manage those conflicts in such a way, that ultimately give that person an added advantage over others.

Here, i am trying to give you an idea about BASIC, the strategy you can follow to manage conflicts with others. And i also present some tips which will give you some edge over your colleague; even sometimes over your boss.

BASICS

B – Back down: Usually the other person is just as interested in saving face as you are, so give them a way out. Provide a graceful way out.
A – Apologize: Say you are sorry or “excuse me” – it doesn’t mean that you are wrong or weak to use courtesy.
S – Stay centered: Stay in control. Don’t let someone else lure you into a fight.
I – It isn’t worth it: Point out that it’s not worth fighting about. Lighten things up a bit. Make a joke – but not at the other person’s expense.
C – Keep it cool: Keep your voice low and steady and calm. Again, stay in control.
S – Stand in the other person’s shoes: Try to relate to the other person. Try to understand what they want or need.

Some Useful Tips for De-Escalating a Potential Conflict:

Speak softly. Speak slowly. Look at the person – but don’t stare.
Be aware of your body language.
Try to relax.
Remember to breathe.
Repeat sentences for clarity. “I think I heard you say…”
Watch your language. Words such as “maybe” “what if” “I feel” “perhaps” tend to de-escalate.
Affirm and acknowledge the other person’s point of view.

Dos and Don'ts: Sending Email In Your World

2009-04-01T10:17:00.003+06:00

Electronic mail (E-Mail) is the popular, preferred method of communication these days because it’s fast, efficient, and inexpensive. However, just because it is cheap to send, doesn’t mean it should be cheap in quality – in terms of presentation and content.

Realize that sending email is not the same as talking to a person face to face. A sentence that might be clear to someone talking to you face to face might come across quite differently without the tone of your voice or the look on your face. Trust and respect are just as important in an email message as in a face to face meeting. Be mindful of your manners – you’re not just sending and receiving typed messages on a computer screen. Think how others will likely receive your message before you launch it into cyberspace.

Dos:

Include an informative subject line.
Plan what you intend to write.
Get straight to the point of your email. Be concise, but be aware – rushed messages can lead to miss-communication.
Focus on the message. What do they need to know?
Provide details. Can they act on your information?
Use eye-catching headlines to organize information.
Use action words if you are sending instructions.
Provide them a method of reaching you.
Double check what you have written. Sometimes this double checking can save you some real embarrassment.
Do consider when your email recipient will read your email. Many people send and receive email at regularly scheduled times of the day only.

Don’ts:

Don’t get carried away with special effects.
If you don’t want it shared, don’t write it. Don’t put something in an email message that you would not want read by everybody. Email can be misdirected or forwarded to others.
Don’t type in all capitals. This is the electronic equivalent of SHOUTING! Conversely, don’t use all lower case because it’s hard to read.
Don’t create or forward “chain-letter” email.
Avoid flames. A “flame” is an inflammatory or critical message. Be careful what you write. Sarcasm is not always clear in a mail message, and something that you meant to be funny can be taken very seriously.
Avoid sending junk emails, emails with insufficient information, or any other email that might trigger an upsetting response from the recipient.
Don’t immediately respond to messages that make you angry. Remember - once it’s sent, you can’t get it back. Take time to reflect on your response and review it. It might be necessary to soften the tone, remove emotion or make sure your message won’t be misconstrued.
Don’t send threatening mail. There are many public personalities and government officials with electronic mail addresses. Jokes and threats sent to these people are taken seriously. Depending on the person you send mail, you could find yourself behind bars.

Avoiding Items To Be Good Communicator

2009-04-01T10:07:00.002+06:00

As a good communicator, you need to know the avoiding factors, the factors that you need to avoid during your communication. Its proved, communication is a skill and we need to follow some strategy to achieve success in communication.

Here, i am mentioning some points which we need to avoid during any communication, to achieve success as good communicator:

Gossiping: Don't give your friends a chance to say that your mouth is as big as all outdoors.
Exaggerating and Half-Truths: People won’t trust you.
Being “Catty” (subtly cruel; spiteful): People fear a petty person.
Being a Snob:This is so yesterday!
Swearing: Sometimes you get mad enough to swear, and you do. Swearing lets off steam, but what does it do to you? It’s cheap and tiresome.
Teasing: It can punch holes in a person’s pride.
Criticizing: If you want to be treated like so much poison ivy, model yourself after the pesky mosquito – buzz and then bite.
Wearing Your Feelings: If you’re too touchy, you’re looking for trouble… you’ll need to accept criticism with a calm manner.

Communication: Meaning and Importance of Communication

2009-04-01T10:00:00.002+06:00

What is communication?

Communication is the exchange of thoughts, ideas, information, or feelings between individuals using speech, writing, gestures, and artistic expression.

Get the message!

The message that is sent is not always the message that is received. Effective communication exists between two persons when the person to whom a message is sent interprets the message in the same way that the person who sent the message intended it.

What’s the big deal?

The process of verbal interaction is important to maintaining our health and emotional well being. Communicating effectively with others is an important characteristic of leadership, and it shapes our success in different activity.

When we share our experiences and feelings sincerely, we come to realize that all of us experience emotions, but that each of us experiences them in our own way. We can recognize the similarities among us as well as our individual differences.

Some Underlying Facts

Failures in communication happen when the message received is different from the message intended.
It’s easier to say that the other person doesn’t understand than to work to understand the other person.
Each person shares equal responsibility or blame when communication is difficult or isn’t working. Try looking at the world from the other person’s perspective. Walk a mile in her shoes.
Show interest in feelings and opinions even when you disagree. This helps build trust and mutual respect.

Correctness: The Seventh 7 c's of Effective Communication’s

2009-04-01T07:51:00.003+06:00

At the core of the correctness is the proper use of grammar, punctuations and spelling. A message may be perfect grammatically and mechanically but still insult or lose a customer.

Correctness comprises of the following points:

a. Using right level of language

There are different levels of languages which may be formal, informal, and substandard. Formal writings are usually associated with the scholarly writing, legal documents, and other documents where formality is the style in demand.

Examples:

Formal and Informal Approach

More Formal: Participate. Less Formal: Join
More Formal: Interrogate. Less Formal: Question

More Acceptable and Substand

Substandard: Can’t hardly, More Acceptable: Can hardly
Substandard: Irregardless, More Acceptable: regardless

b. Checking accuracy of figures, facts, and words

Many a times it is impossible to convey the message directly from the sender’s head to the receivers head. So this can be done to an extent by including figures and facts like as follows:

Verifying your statistical data
Double-checking your totals
Avoid guessing of laws that have an impact on sender or receiver
Determine whether a fact have changed over a time.

Other factor is the inclusion of words that don’t confuse for example the following will help in clearing this topic.

Example 1: Accept-Except: Here accept means to receive and except means to omit.
Example 2: Biannually-Biennially: Biannually means 2 times a year and biennially mean every 2 years.

c. Maintaining acceptable writing mechanics

This topic relates to the proper use of words and spellings. But in today’s world writing have been more easier, since, spell-checkers and various kinds of word formatting's are available.

Courtesy: The Sixth 7 c's of Effective Communication’s

2009-04-01T07:29:00.003+06:00

True courtesy involves being aware not only of the perspective of others but also their feelings. It is merely politeness and mechanical insertions of “please” and “thank-you”.

Courtesy comprises of the following points

a. Being sincerely tactful, thoughtful and appreciative

Tact: Though few people are intentionally waiting for someone to argue, so being tactful avoids any cause of discourtesy and avoiding any negative feedback from the sender. Example: “Clearly, you did not read my latest fax” can be written as “Sometimes my wordings are not precise; let me try again”.
Thoughtfulness and Appreciation: It means bringing a thought in the entire conversation and appreciating the reply from the other party.

b. Use expressions showing respect

No reader wants to receive message that offends. This can be done by eliminating irritating expressions and Questionable humor because humor to one person may be disgust for another as everyone has different sense of humor.

c. Choose nondiscriminatory expressions

Another requirement for courtesy is the use of nondiscriminatory language that reflects equal treatment of people regardless of their gender, race, age and physical features. Some of the examples are given below:

Situation 1

Questionable: Each customer will have the new changes noted on his bill.
More desirable: Customers will have the changes noted on their bill.

Situation 2

Questionable: Our criteria are firm; he is to be a scholar, he is to be a good teacher.
More desirable: Our criteria suggest he or she is supposed to be a scholar and a good teacher.

Clarity: The Fifth 7 C's of Effective Communication’s

2009-04-01T07:19:00.003+06:00

Getting the meaning from your head to the reader’s head accurately is the purpose of clarity. Of course, you know it is not simple. We all carry around our own unique interpretations, ideas, thinking, experiences associated with the words.

Clarity comprises of the following points:

a. Selection of precise, concrete and clear words

Clarity is achieved in part through a balance between precise words and familiar words.Defining the above sentence, example, although it is appropriate to use technical terms and business jargon's in professional institutions but they need to be avoided when communicating with a person who is not acquainted with the terminology.

Example:

Possibly unfamiliar: Assessed valuation; Familiar to the layperson: Property value for tax purposes.
Possibly unfamiliar: Charge to your principal(banking); Familiar to the layperson: Increase the balance of your loan.
Possibly unfamiliar: Buyouts; Familiar to the layperson: Purchase by other company.
Possibly unfamiliar: People plying on skywalk; Familiar to the layperson: People moving on over bridge

b. Constructing effective sentences and paragraphs

In this important characteristics to consider are length unity and coherence.

Length: Generally short sentences are preferred, the suggested average sentence length should be about 17-20 words, because longer sentence may cause lack of concentration in sentence.
Unity: In a sentence whether it is simple, compound or complex the link i.e. the unity matters which means to have one main idea traveling through the entire conversation. Every sentence or word must be closely related to each other.

c. Coherence

Coherence in sentences means the words should be correctly placed or arranged so that ideas clearly reflect the intended meaning.

Emphasis: It refers to the quality that gives force to important parts of the sentences and paragraphs. The writer must know when and where the emphasis is required which helps in making the letter more clear along with other C qualities.

Concreteness: The Forth 7 c's of Effective Communication’s

2009-04-01T07:08:00.005+06:00

Concreteness refers to being more specific, definite, and vivid rather than and general and repetitive. The main benefit of being concrete is obvious that the receiver knows exactly what is required or desired. The other benefit of being concrete is that the reply might be in the same way that may be interrupted by you as the receiver.

Concreteness comprises of the following points:

a. Using specific facts and figures

Whenever possible use specific, exact, precise statement or figure instead of general words which helps in making your message more concrete.

Examples:

General, Indefinite: She’s a brain; Concrete, Precise: Her percentage have increased from 84% in S.S.C to 88% in H.S.C
General, Indefinite: Eastern Europe is making progress in obtaining investments; Concrete, Precise: In 1990, investments in Eastern Europe were about US $30 million; today that figure has increased by 12%.

But sometimes when you don’t know the exact figures and want to be concrete you can write as “half the committee was present”

b. Put Action in your verbs

Verbs can bring your concreteness back to being alive and more dynamic. Use of verbs especially the active verbs make your sentence more Specific, Personal and Concise. Even the passive verbs are more useful sometimes when you want to avoid any personal or accusing comments.

Examples:

“The Principal Has decided” is more specific then “A decision has been made”.
“You will note” is both personal and specific than “It will be noted”.

c. Selection of more vivid and image-building words

This section refers to the use of language or words which are capable of creating an atmosphere in the mind of the reader that he imagines himself, being, in that situation rather than using words which would bounce over the gray matter. The inclusion of vivid words also helps in creating a scenario that the writer or speaker has a wider scope of imagination instead having an image of sticking to the basics.

Examples:

No Literal and dull More vivid and image-builder

His work in group was exemplary He could be called the “The spark plug of the group”
The results are very good this year and are expected to be very good next year.
The results this year have been excellent and we expect them to touch the mountain in the coming year.