Body Language – The Important Part of Communication

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

The first impression you make can also be a lasting impression. Therefore you need to make sure you get that first impression right.

Having decided what you should wear and how you should look to help you to communicate a more confident image, you also need to be aware of the body language signals you are giving out.

Body language includes:

• eye contact and eye movement

• distance from others e.g. personal space zone

• posture and stance

• facial expressions

• gestures

Non verbal signals you give out (i.e. body language signals) are said to be four and a half times more powerful than your verbal signals.

Your facial expression is at least eight times more powerful than the spoken word.

Taking time to examine your non-verbal signals, understanding and improving them, fitting them for the occasion and the person/people you are communicating with is time well spent. Also learning what to look for in others can help you understand what is being conveyed.

Tips About Appearance For Attending An Interview and Presentation

Appearing In An Interview

When attending an interview try to avoid extremes of fashion, no tight or revealing clothing, no strong perfume or aftershave or large jewelery that jangles every time you move - and don’t forget to check those shoes.

Use clothes to assert yourself, choosing the clothes that make you feel confident and that suit you. Be aware of your body shape and clothes that emphasize this or hide it. Learn to play up your strengths and down your weaknesses. Look at buying good accessories.

Trousers should not be too long and hanging over shoes. Neither should they be flying at half-mast, displaying Mickey Mouse socks or, worse, white socks. Shoes in both men and women should match the color of the trousers: brown shoes should not be worn with a dark suit, navy, black or Grey trousers. In women, shoes should be the same color or darker than a skirt, and tights or stockings should also be darker than or of the same color as the skirt.

Whether male or female, if you are wearing trousers that have belt loops then do wear a matching belt. Again, ensure that your trousers sit comfortably on you and that they are not torn in any way. Yes, I have seen a man with trousers torn at the crutch!!

Make sure your clothes fit you and that your shirt or blouse is not straining across your midriff. Also, if wearing a jacket, make sure it fits when fastened.

Appearing In A Presentation

If you are giving a presentation then think of your audience. Adapt your outfit to tone in with your audience. If I am giving a talk to a group of educationalists then I will dress smartly but more informally. I will wear neutral colors that look and feel comfortable and do not threaten the audience. White itself is a neutral color and therefore not particularly threatening unless you associate it with ‘the men in white coats’ coming to take you away, ha, ha! It can, though, sometimes be a bit overpowering and I will often soften my white with a colored scarf.

If I am giving a conference talk to a group of bankers, lawyers or accountants I will always wear a suit, usually navy blue to aid authority. Try not to choose overpowering colors or clothes as that will only overpower your message. You want people to remember you and what you talked about, not what you wore.

Research your audience and adapt your outfit to tone with your audience’s style. If your audience, however, are going to be casually dressed do not tone down your attire completely by wearing jeans and a t-shirt. You need to maintain some authority so you should be dressed casually but smartly.

Never let your appearance overpower your message.

Beware of clothes with bold patterns, and avoid dangling earrings or bracelets that jangle, which will be extremely irritating for the audience, as irritating as a man turning over the loose change in his pocket!

Communicating Clearly In Writing: Important To Achieve Success

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.”

—Lee Iacocca,
former CEO of Chrysler

What is your game plan, and does your team know it? Just like a coach in sports, you as manager are charged with guiding a team of individuals toward its collective goal. Successful execution depends on your capacity to communicate this game plan clearly.

You need to be sure all team members read from the same playbook. Each player’s role and responsibilities must be meticulously defined. The coaching and instruction you give must be delivered accurately and with the right timing. Nothing good happens if communication falters. A championship-caliber game plan is worthless if the coach sends the wrong signals to the players.

If you are reading this blog to improve your ability to communicate, you obviously see the link between strong communication skills and career success. Here, you will find advice for developing your own “communications playbook.” It is not intended to be exhaustive, and its aim is simple: to provide digestible bites of information to help you gain confidence and master the art of both written and oral communication. No matter how high-tech and diverse communication technologies become, they can reach their full potential only when used by a good writer or speaker.

The Importance To Understand The Code of Color

The color of your clothes can have a considerable impact on how you are perceived. If you visit your local supermarket and look at the products on the shelves, think about the color of the packaging. Why has that company chosen blue, or green or red? What is the message that color projects? Why do we choose different colors to decorate our homes? The psychology of color also comes into play with our clothes. Not only does it have an impact on how we are perceived but also how we feel.

Have some fun with word associations – throw out a color to a group of people and ask them for their immediate reaction to that color and see what you get back. There may be some very common associations.

Different colors often have different meanings in different cultures, so be aware of this when visiting overseas or doing business abroad.

Whatever colors you choose to wear they should suit you and not drain you: here you might wish to take some expert advice. It could save you a great deal of money in the long run as you no longer waste it on buying clothes that you don’t like once you get them home from the shop.

Let’s look at some colors and see what they mean.

1. Black

In the western world black signifies formal, authority, sober but that isn’t all it means. It is often worn at funerals and old-fashioned villains and witches wore black. Priests wear black to signal submission to God and some fashion experts say that black worn by a woman signifies submission to men! But many women like black because they believe it makes them look slimmer. However, because it is such a heavy color and absorbs light, it has the opposite effect on someone who is not already slim, overpowering them and making them appear bigger and heavier and therefore making others feel rather nervous around them.

We also tend to think black is sophisticated and glamorous. It can be, but only if it suits you. Not everyone looks good in black - in fact I look like death warmed up - it drains me both physically and mentally. Men in black suits, or black pin-striped suits set off by a white shirt, can look quite stunning but they are also giving out an authoritative air. Waiters wear black and white to show they have authority on the restaurant floor and so that they can be recognized as waiters. A smartly turned out waiter or waitress in black and white can add serenity and sobriety not to mention class to a restaurant. But if you are a woman attending an interview and you decide to wear a black suit with a white blouse then beware, it is unlikely you will get the job. Why? Because black and white can be overpowering, aloof and hostile and can therefore threaten the interviewer. If the only suit you own is black and the only blouse white then try and break the harshness of this combination of colors by adding a colored scarf, or for men set it off with a colored tie. Accessories are a lot cheaper than buying a whole new suit.

2. Red

Red signifies energy and physical strength. It also signifies aggression and danger: fire engines are red. I remember reading somewhere that red cars are involved in more accidents than any other color yet red cars are popular. Why? Because red also symbolizes power. It is an intense color and often makes the wearer (or user) feel more confident. But again another word of warning: if you choose to wear red then also choose where and when to wear this color. If you are a woman and you choose to wear a red jacket to work you may find this doesn’t help you in a meeting with your male colleagues. Because it is a power color it may say that you are trying to exert your power over your male colleagues too much. If you are the boss then fine, but if not you may find yourself being isolated or attracting aggression. Men don’t wear red jackets unless they work for Butlers, the holiday and entertainment company. However, men can wear red ties and this will have the same effect as the woman wearing the red jacket. If you are involved in negotiations or conflict situations red might not be the most appropriate color to choose as it signals aggressiveness and your aim might be to gain cooperation.

3. Pink

Pink is a more tranquillizing color, soothing and feminine. All the pastel colors of pink, blue, and lilac symbolize tranquility and femininity. So you are back to deciding who you are seeing and the impression you wish to project. What is the aim of your meeting? If you need to project authority and energy, or perhaps gain promotion or get that job, dressing yourself in pastel colors may not be communicating a very confident and assertive image and this also applies to men wearing pastel colored shirts and ties.

3. Green

Green is the color of nature. It is a calming color but too much green can communicate we are lazy, too relaxed. It is not a very assertive color especially when it becomes a muddy green, which moves towards signifying death. Green is also associated with envy, resentment and possessiveness. Some people hold that it is a color of bad luck and they will not wear it or have it in the house, my mother is one such person, although personally I like it in the home but cannot
wear it, as it does not suit me. In the middle ages, brides wore green as a symbol of fertility.

4. Yellow

This is a bright, sunny, optimistic color. It is associated with the intellectual side of the mind giving out the impression of someone who is clear thinking, has good judgment and able to make decisions. However too much yellow can be overpowering. Yellow can help to build self-confidence, it enhances the concentration and conveys a good organizer but beware of a muddy yellow, which can signify liverish.

5. Blue

Blue inspires mental control and clarity. It is also associated with creativity. It is the color of the sky and ocean. It is peaceful and tranquil but can be cold and aloof. Blue is often a good color to wear to an interview as it symbolizes loyalty and productivity. Studies show that weightlifters are able to lift heavier weights in blue gyms. Too much dark blue however can be depressing.

6. Turquoise

Turquoise is invigorating. It refreshes us, lifts us and is good for stimulating communication, sensitivity and creativity. Funnily enough I often wear turquoise when writing my crime novels.

7. Brown

Brown is a solid reliable color, it is the color of the earth, bringing with it stability. It can also be sad and wistful and can imply narrow mindedness and retreat. Men tend to like brown.

8. Grey

Grey tends to have a negative feeling, as it is associated with poor weather, Grey clouds, Grey sky, heavy and dull. It is neither black nor white, the color therefore of evasion, giving the impression of lack of commitment and loneliness.

By now you’re probably trawling through your wardrobe in despair wondering what colors you can possibly wear! Well, you should:

• wear the colors that suit you and enhance your complexion, not the ones that drain you.
  

• wear the colors that make you feel comfortable and confident
  

• choose which colors to wear when and on what occasion.
  

Your Body Language During Giving Presentation

Many people are nervous when asked to give a presentation – that is perfectly natural. Your mouth dries up, your hands perspire. The adrenalin rushes in your veins and your heart goes into overdrive. Your contracting stomach robs you of hunger (though afterwards you’ll be ravenous), your legs tremble and your voice becomes strained. When we are faced with what we believe is a hostile or difficult situation we experience the Flight or Fight syndrome. Your body will prepare itself to either fight the situation or run away from it. Your body can take control but you mustn’t allow it too completely. You don’t want to eliminate nervousness because you need a certain amount to help you give a better performance – some great actors still suffer terrible stage fright before they perform – so being nervous is natural. It is controlling these nerves that is important.

American researchers asked 3,000 people what they feared most – 40 per cent gave speaking before a large audience as the affliction they most dreaded.

One of the greatest fears that people have is that all eyes are on them when they stand to resent. Soinstead of thinking about all those people looking at you, you need to reverse it – you must think of yourself as giving out to those people. You must feel (and tell yourself) that it is you who is in control. Also be aware that potentially the audience is more nervous than you are! They want you to be good. They want you to succeed.

Overcoming nervousness

To help overcome nervousness, especially right at the beginning when it is worse, the trick is to divert eyes from you.

Two ways of doing this are:

• Put up a visual and ask people to look at it. That way you can chat quite happily about what is on the chart without people looking at you
  

• Start with a question to the audience, for example, if your talk is about the increase in violence you could ask, ‘How many of you here today are worried about violence in the community?’ Hands go up. Then, ‘The gentleman in the blue jacket, what particularly worries you?’ All eyes are now on him. You can carry on this technique by asking another person in the audience for their opinion.
  

Use questions and flip charts to get involvement and draw attention away from you.

When your speech begins stand slowly, keep your hand movements slow and deliberate. Smile. Keep smiling. Let your eyes rove the audience. Don’t hurry. Come out to the front, smile, open your arms in a welcome gesture.

As you start to speak look at everybody in the room. With small groups acknowledge each one with eye contact. With larger groups you’ll have spots where you should rest your eyes for a moment and then sweep on to the next. These spots should be dotted around the auditorium. If you don’t make eye contact with the back of the hall it is unlikely that your voice will reach the back row either.

Do not be tempted into giving your talk to the only friendly face and ignore the rest. You need to make good steady eye contact with those who look bored and cynical. This takes courage but it works. Someonewho appears downright awkward and resistant in an audience can be looking like this because they feel superior to everyone else and/or because the subject is threatening. By making extra eye contact with them they start to feel that you are acknowledging their significance and they feel less threatened because they trust you.

Don’t hide behind a lectern or table. It will create a barrier. Equally don’t talk to the wall or the flip chart or walk up and down, sway, or keep rising on your toes.

With a large audience the personal space zone is about twelve feet, drawing inwards with smaller audiences.

Watch out for those mannerisms like scratching, rubbing your nose, pulling ears, turning over your loose change in your pockets and fastening and unfastening your jacket.

Always stand rather than sit. Your energy level is different when you stand and you look more powerful. If you are giving a long talk or a training session always stand at the outset to establish authority. When you want to gain confidence and be more like one of the audience then you can sit, i.e. during question and answer sessions.

Don’t stand with your hands folded in front of the body in the vicar/fig leaf position or clasped behind your back like a policeman! In the drawing opposite our man has his legs firmly planted apart and a smile on his face with head tilted back, this tends to make him look superior.

Your Appearance – The Critical Part of You

Most of us are familiar with makeover programs on the television and articles in magazines where a man or a woman is given a new look. Often the results can be quite startling and the individual feels elated. We all get stuck in a rut, buying familiar styles and colors that we feel comfortable with. There is nothing wrong with this but from time to time it does us good to reassess ourselves and to consider the impression we’re giving out to others; is it the right impression?

If we try and wear the same clothes at forty as we did at sixteen (if they still fit us) how do you think that would look? Yes, pretty foolish I think. The way to feel and look younger is not to embrace the latest fashion fads, nor to stick with those tired old clothes we found so invigorating when young but to reassess our appearance as we get older and find styles, colours and clothes that suit us and can reflect our personalities; clothes that are timeless and stylish and of the best quality we can afford and hence give us a boost in confidence.

Over the years our skin tone changes, so too does our hair colour. Our shape alters and because of these changes our clothes, make up, hairstyle all need to change.

By changing clothes, hairstyle etc. you can feel completely different, often rejuvenated and your body language and communication style will therefore also change. You feel, look and act differently. People will then respond to you differently.

Research conducted by Professor Albert Mehrabian, a psychologist, showed that our decisions about the people we meet are based on the following:

• 55 per cent what we see

• 38 per cent what we hear

• 7 per cent the words we are speaking

We’re going to take each of these in the following writing, examine them and see how we can use them to communicate a more confident image. But first what we need to understand the importance of our appearance.

Strategy To Set Your Body Language Before Interviews

Interviews make us nervous so taking time to prepare for an interview will go some way to easing those nerves.

• Make sure that you are wearing the right clothes and that you are well groomed, and don’t forget those shoes – they need to be clean and well heeled.
  

• Get the right inner voice

1. I can handle this
2. I am confident
3. I have prepared well for this interview
4. I know my strengths and weaknesses and I will give it my best shot.
   

NOT To Do

1. I hate interviews
2. I’m sure I’m going to fail
3. There are going to be far more qualified/experienced people than me
4. I know I won’t be able to answer any of their questions
5. I know I won’t get the job

If you hear any of these destructive voices in your head then SILENCE them and convert them to a positive inner dialogue.

• Tell yourself that you are confident, put your shoulders back, open your chest, hold your head up, smile. Shake hands if the interviewer offers his/her hand and remember that your handshake should be dry and firm, taking the whole hand. Give good eye contact.
  

• Sit when invited to do so. If you are being interviewed by a panel you may have your chair positioned some distance away from the interviewers. This can be very daunting but maintain that positive inner voice. The panel can see all your body language gestures so ensure you keep your body language open, legs uncrossed, arms and hands resting lightly in front of you on your lap or on the arms of the chair. Keep your body language movements to a minimum but you can angle your body to the speaker/questioner.
  

• Sit upright, look and be alert. Sit forward to convey real interest. Keep your eyes on the speaker, moving eye contact to the person who is asking you questions if there is more than one interviewer and then, when you have answered, sweeping your eye contact to the rest of the panel. Remember to smile if you can.
  

Don’t

1. slouch;
2. look down at your hands,
3. out of the window,
4. at the ceiling
5. fold your arms tightly across your body.

• In interviews don’t threaten the interviewer’s personal space by invading it. I saw this happen once when an interviewee lunged across a dividing table at the interviewer who sprang back and completely forgot what she was going to ask. Needless to say the applicant didn’t get the job.
  

We often place a barrier in front of us to mark our personal space. Behind this barrier we feel comfortable and safe. We can also feel superior. Interviewers and bosses do this, which is not always a good interviewing tactic or one for team building, as you cannot get to know the other person with a barrier between you. Doctors used to do this but many no longer do so. However some medical consultants still use this as a way of clearly defining the patient– doctor relationship. Do not put anything on the interviewer’s desk or table without asking permission first and that also goes for the sales interview. The desk or table is their territory and you are invading it if you don’t ask their permission.

Personal space: What Is The Meaning?

A word about personal space before we move onto interviewing and presentations body language. Personal space is the distance you feel comfortable with when meeting or reacting with another person. It varies from country to country between individuals and genders, and in different situations. For example, the Italians and French have a much closer personal space distance and are more tactile than the British or Germans. The Japanese and Chinese have closer body space zones and in India the personal space zone is practically non-existent.

In Britain the personal space distance is about three feet hence the old saying ‘keep them at arm’s length’, which is approximately three feet. This is why we often feel uncomfortable when someone sits next to us on a bus or train, or at a seminar. It is why we put our bags or briefcases on the seat beside us; we are creating and establishing our own personal space. In crowded places like trains or the Underground in rush hour, or a crowded lift, it is not possible to have the
personal space we like around us. In these situations people will often not look at one another but will look at the ceiling or the floor, and/or they will angle their body language away from the other person. Where this is not always possible you will find that we keep our body language movements down to a minimum, keeping very still.

Those we like and know we will allow closer to us.

In the networking situation previously described we need to keep personal space distance between us. If someone we don’t know very well gets too close then we tend to back off.